By Joel S. Slotnick
Turkey day is weeks behind us and the holidays are in full swing. It appears Thanksgiving night is customarily (for many of us) the night holiday decorations come alive inside and outside many homes. I recall some stores having holiday products showing up as early as October. One of my smart aleck comments to friends and some stores is I don’t see why stores just don’t take a section of their space just for the different holidays and leave it up all year long. The way products come out earlier and earlier, they might as well do just that!
This is also the time of the year where people seem to get a tad friendlier, a tad more giving and a tad more fun. The parties have started at different organizations as well as private gatherings with families and friends who are getting into the spirit of the season, all leading up to the new year. There are many who have affordable means to take lavish trips, purchase an abundance of gifts, for themselves and those special people in their lives. How do we know? Well, some are our friends. Some post it all over social media such as Facebook, Instagram, even Twitter, to name a few. While some love it, there are those who don’t, and it’s not out of jealousy or envy.
There are those who find this time of year to be quite the opposite for various reasons: No family, being single, in a bad relationship or marriage, financially troubled, no employment. Or just feeling lonely or alone. Someone can have a host of friends, but that doesn’t mean they feel included. Other things such as feeling like you have to compete with those who are able to do so much more – parties, gifts. Even those who would be considered more fortunate have the stresses of holidays by always having to entertain house guests, having parties, trying to live up to everyone else’s expectations.
These lead to depression, persons being withdrawn, sometimes even suicide. They’re our family members. They’re our friends. They’re our acquaintances. Many put on such a facade, you wouldn’t know it.
According to a Huffington Post article I read from 2010, some of the tell-tale signs are loss of sleep, anxiety, the tendency of drinking more and weight gain.
To many of us, that could look like several people we know. But have we ever thought that there might be more? People learn how to put on a happy face, even when they’re not. I was one of them. No, it didn’t have to do with the holidays, but I could relate to some symptoms. Mine had to do with the loss of a job in 2000 for the first time in 27 consecutive years of working.
At first, it was like being on vacation. I had unemployment and severance pay, so it wasn’t a financial thing. During the second month, it hit me like a brick. Resumes were going out, but nothing was happening. I began to feel useless. I couldn’t land a job for anything. By the sixth month, no job. On the outside, I was still myself – joking, helping, being me. On the inside, I was depressed and didn’t say a word. Why not? Friends are supposed to be there for us. In my mind I thought they all had their own problems to deal with and didn’t need mine too. In my seventh month out of work, I was called back by my former employer as a position opened up. Life went back to what it was before. Friends started to ask how I kept so up beat the whole time I wasn’t working. They were stunned I told them I put on my mask.
Why have I shared that? You never know what is going on in a person’s life. Never assume even the closest persons to us is always fine. Talk, ask questions. Even the best mask eventually comes off.
During the holidays, it’s even more important. Let’s all do our best to be there for one another. We can’t help everyone, but we can do more than help no one.
I leave you with these words: Being there for people, because you know what it’s like to have no one there for you. Unknown
Rev. Joel S. Slotnick is an ordained Interfaith minister and full time digital court reporter for the state of Florida.
