Florida Agenda

By SAM KNEW, MSW

Of all the things we do to stay healthy, one of the most overlooked preventatives in keeping the doctor away is right under our nose. How often you smile could have a direct impact on your biological and mental well-being. It may be surprising to you that when you smile, even a fake smile, you release endorphins. Endorphins are the transmitters in the brain that reduce pain, and feelings of anger and sadness. This chain reaction in mood has a serious biological benefit: increasing ones immune system, specifically in individuals with compromised immune systems.

Among our best natural defenses are little known lymphocyte (white blood) cells referred to as Natural Killer (NK) cells. These cells, in short, are the meanest, toughest little guys (or ladies) that can effectively destroy most viruses, including HIV and some types of cancers. Various studies even show that individuals with compromised immune systems and large amounts of NK cells systems have been able to postpone the use of medication treatment. And FYI: your mood makes all the difference in the number of NK cells you have. A Harvard study showed individuals with “good coping skills” and a positive outlook tended to produce three times as many active NK cells than those who were identified in a high-stress group.

One aspect that experts are quick to point out is that an individual who frequently functions in high stress keeps their immune system working over time. In effect, your body is busy coping with an increased heart rate, slowed adrenaline, digestion issues and loss of blood flow to major muscle groups. This fright or flight response (the body’s perception of threat or danger) can even have  long term effects, such as hair loss, obesity, diabetes, depression, tooth and gum disease, ulcers and (as it usually comes down to in this column) sexual dysfunction.

Sex and stress are definitely linked. Not only does stress contribute to a low sex drive physiologically, under stress the body releases cortisol, a hormone which inhibits other hormones such as testosterone – the principal male sex hormone. It is also responsible for healthy body development, such as retention of protein and tissue mass, which are especially vital to individuals with compromised immune systems. The good news is that it seems to work the other way around as well. Sex can  be a great stress reliever. Researchers found a correlation between sex and stimulated cell growth in the hippocampus of the brain. That’s the part of the brain primarily associated with long-term memory. In addition, a healthy sex drive can result in decreased blood pressure, and an increase of antibodies and endorphins, which can increase those NK cells. Not to mention, if done right – it should put that smile back on your face.

Sam Knew, MSW is an educator

By SAM KNEW, MSW

Long before tangled bed sheets, before the first kiss, before cocktails or a promising “hello,” there’s a cosmic element that draws two people together – one that may not require any words at all. But who knew it may be what you aren’t saying that’s costing you your health – and maybe your life? In the heat of passion, it isn’t always easy to ask your partner about their sexual history or health status. And the end result can be one of the 12 million new sexually transmitted infections (STI) reported each year.

Oddly enough, in an era where condoms are passed out in schools and shopping centers and sex is used to sell everything from bottled water to dental plans, it’s a wonder that so many of us have trouble talking about sex. But for those who enjoy a little verbal foreplay, choosing your words carefully can make the issues of protection a non-issue. By incorporating the mention of condoms and other types of barriers into your “flirt dialog,” you can set a precedent that tells your partner what’s expected.

If words escape you in the heat of the moment, there are a few options that may make it a little easier to negotiate the terms of engagement. Consider getting creative – using your mouth to slip on a condom can be a sexual turn on and leaves little to be discussed. However, the passion doesn’t always make its way to bedroom, so you may want to consider placing condoms in other areas around the home – or even car for that matter. The female condom, which is gaining more popularity and approval among gay men, is another safe alternative. One advantage is that the sexual recipient (the bottom) can place the device in place hours before hand and not have to interrupt foreplay placing in the device or bother negotiating safe sex practices with their partner.

Of course, like any advice, it’s always easier said than done, and sometimes we can make the conversation even more difficult throwing alcohol and drugs into the mix. Needless to say, our inhibitions and judgment are impaired with either. Studies report that 60% of STDs are transmitted when the partners are under the influence. Not to mention the numerous sexual assaults of women and men which occur while intoxicated.

But for all of the alternatives offered, there’s no substitute for the real thing. Having a direct conversation with your partner can eliminate a lot of dancing around the issue – and can actually make your sexual experience a more pleasant, worry-free one. Starting the conversation doesn’t have to be embarrassing or uncomf

ortable. You could start by offering your own status or preference, like “I’m STD free,” or “I only use condoms”. What you do want to avoid, though, are vague and uncommitted statements like, “I prefer condoms” or “could we use a condom?” This might give your partner the misconception that safe sex is an option – when it clearly isn’t.

Sam Knew, MSW is an educator and a local counselor. He can be reached at samknewmsw@gmail.com

Who Knew?

By SAM KNEW, MSW

Many become isolated by shame, which perpetuates the addiction

The internet is everywhere – our homes, work, phone, even free-of-charge at public libraries. That is why the nearly 4-million online users who identify themselves as online sexual addicts face a daily battle. It’s the internet’s accessibility and affordability that enables this form of addiction. This over-exposure of graphic and gratuitous sexual material can generate such an unhealthy attitude towards sex. Like most addicts, these individuals are capable of acting out with life-altering consequences. Users compulsively access the “net” to download sexual images, visit sexu a l l y – o r i e n t e d chartrooms and participate in live sexual video acts – usually involving some form of masturbation. Many become isolated by shame, which perpetuates the addiction. Although defining this form of addiction may be challenging due to the degrees of use, most professionals will identify it as an addiction when it becomes unmanageable or all consuming, costing users their own reality. Cyber addicts have been known to go online for hours or literally days at a time, risking their relationships, job and health.

The book “In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free of Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior” outlines five groups of users. The groups range from appropriate to inappropriate. Appropriate users include those who are capable of accessing sexual material online, even using it to enhance their real sex lives and maintain a healthy, expressive sex life in

their real world. Inappropriate groups include those who are at risk of becoming addicts, using the internet for exhibitionism or illegal sexual acts such as meeting under-age sex partners. They tend to lack the ability to express their sexual desires in the real world, yet they are still in control of the image they project to the world (much like a functioning alcoholic).

The most severe group is made up of individuals who have some form of sexual addiction, and the internet is simply a tool in that addiction. They are detached from the real world and put themselves in numerous forms of high-risk situations in all aspects of their life. These users risk their jobs by viewing pornography at work. In addition, they jeopardize relationships, by carrying on online fantasy relationships, some actually coming to fruition. This compulsion also takes its toll on the users’ physical and mental health, resulting in forms of depression and anxiety.

Like with most addicts of any other a d d i c t i o n , users must learn to live with their disorder, as they are never truly cured. The goal is to create an environment where addicts can communicate their desires and even fulfill them in healthy ways. Users need to understand the drive of their compulsion and learn to reconstruct their perception of sexual expression. Most importantly, they need to spend less time in their virtual world and more time learning to cope in their reality.

By SAM KNEW, MSW

Most of us spend our lives avoiding contracting even the slightest germ, much less an infective virus. We live in a world of hand sanitizer stations at shopping centers and medicine cabinets filled with multi-vitamins and some sort of natural tea product. So it may be unimaginable that there are individuals intentionally seeking out diseases, hoping they will be lucky enough to get bitten by “the bug.” They are called “bug chasers.” This term usually refers to a sub-culture of gay men that intentionally seek to get infected with Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV), the virus that causes Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS).

It is still not understood what motivates these individuals, but many theorize it may be the desire for a sense of belonging. Bug chasers may long to be part of a nurturing and compassionate part of a community, as found within the HIV+ population. Others conclude some people feel so overwhelmed by the possibility of contracting HIV, they prefer to “get it over with.” The short film “The Gift” explores this rare phenomenon, documenting a young man’s sense of relief after being diagnosed HIV+. “The Gift’s” director, Louise Hogarth, adds the increasing false sense of the lack severity in contracting the virus may also be a contributing factor.

Some believe the disease has become more of a manageable illness, controllable with just a pill. This school thought has encouraged individuals to put down their guard, being less disciplined in their safe sex practices.

This fringe population of bug chasers are accommodated by “gift givers.” These are individuals that are willing to infect bug chasers. This pairing of bug chasers and gift givers usually come together online. Though the compilation of these two groups is a very small subset of the population they have developed a culture of their own, including “conversation parties.” This is one means in which HIV+ men and those looking to be infected can meet.

Usually only one individual is HIV+ (known only to the individual himself and the host). The other members of the party participate in unprotected sex in hopes of being infected, commonly referred to as getting “pozzed up.”

The question of these individual’s mental health and legal responsibility are just beginning to be examined. There is still little research or actual statistics on how many people are purposefully seeking conversion, and less on people who have converted intentionally. Additionally, nearly half the states have laws against infecting individuals, but even some of those laws are not prepared to address the consensual transmission of this “gift of death.”

Sam Knew, MSW contributes the weekly column “Who Knew” addressing various topics. For questions or comments: troym@jumponmarkslist.com.

What’s on the Sheets May be as Important as What Happens Between Them

By SAM KNEW, MSW

Condom… check. Playful body inspections… check. Names… check.

So what are you missing that might put you in danger of becoming one of the three hundred million plus people in the world that contract “Sarcoptes Scabiei Var. Hominis” or more commonly referred to as “scabies”? This infestation of the skin by human itch mites has the possibility of burrowing into the layers of the skin, causing an irritable rash while laying its eggs. And this is one sexually transmitted disease (STD) you can contract even with your clothes on.

Transmission of scabies is primarily through skin-to-skin contact, which is why it is considered an STD. However, scabies can also be contracted via clothes, towels, or bed sheets. They can also spread the scabies mite if the items were recently in contact with a person who has scabies, according to Maryland Department of infectious Disease and Environmental Health Administration. In addition, individuals with compromised immune systems are at risk of contracting a severe form of scabies called “crusted” or “Norwegian Scabies,” which is more easily transmitted.

The most common symptom of scabies is itchiness, usually in areas of the body such as the elbow, between the fingers, armpit, breast, nipples, penis and buttocks. The female mites are responsible for burrowing eggs below the skin creating grayish-white or skin colored lines on the surface of the skin. The intense skin itching can lead to further infections, allowing bacteria into the skin, possibly causing inflammation of the kidneys; and for a few dozen individuals each year – death.

Unfortunately, individuals can go weeks, even months before symptoms develop.

However, it is still possible to contract scabies from an infected person who doesn’t display symptoms. A person with crusted (Norwegian) scabies can spread the disease “by brief skin-to-skin contact or by exposure to bedding, clothing, or even furniture that he/she has used,” according to the Center for Disease Control, which is why those infected should seek immediate treatment. Unfortunately, itching may continue up to three weeks after treatment topical lotion is applied, which should be simultaneously followed by a laundry list, including bedding, towels and clothes.

So what should be left on your checklist? Hint: two words – that’s right, “personal hygiene.” Maintaining personal hygiene is vital, and a great indicator of your partner’s health status. Although contraction of scabies is not a reflection of one’s personal hygiene, individuals with good personal hygiene and sanitary living condition are less likely to contract the disease. In addition, infected individuals with good hygiene have less mite infestation, decreasing the rate of transmission to others.

Sam Knew, MSW contributes the weekly column “Who Knew” addressing various topics. For questions or comments: troym@jumponmarkslist.com.