Florida Agenda

By Nicholas Snow

Oxford-based activist Dennis Hambridge founded the non-governmental organization (NGO)  Gay Activists Alliance International with prominent Nigerian activist Davis Mac-Iyalla in order to highlight inequality and human rights abuses towards lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, and other gender variant people (LGBTI).   “We also highlight women’s rights regardless of sexuality and also the Worlds AIDS Campaign,” explained Dennis about the all-volunteer organization.

“Our activists work from home.  We don’t have official offices,” he added, “and our main communications are over the internet, with Messenger or Skype.  Due to severe homophobia and trans-phobia in many countries, some activists will use an alias for safety.”

Dennis stressed, “No matter in what country or continent, inequality and human rights abuses are no different.

We all have the common goal of making it a better and fairer world for the persons we campaign for.  How you tackle that from country to country or continent can significantly vary.  What we can do in a free society, you are not able to do in one that is not, or in ones that oppress LGBTIQ persons and women—such as being able to protest or seek funding for LGBTIQ groups in Africa or parts of Asia.”

“I identify myself as a gender queer,” clarified Dennis, who did not come out until 2003 after both his mother and stepfather had died.  “We are a very close knit family.  All my family and relatives have been so supportive.   I am not aware of any of them treating LGBTIQ persons any differently than heterosexual people.  I don’t think my mum would have approved had they treated LGBTIQ persons differently.”

“I believe I really knew about my sexuality when I was about ten years old,” Dennis continued.  “Like many in those days, I hid it.  I got married young.  I was so confused about my sexuality and hid behind alcohol.  I became over the years dependent on alcohol to help keep me hiding everything.  Eventually I could hide no more and confessed to my wife.”

Dennis learned of the beginnings of the Gay Activists Alliance when he was downloading gay symbols to give out at a pride event.  He learned about the Lambda symbol, the ancient Greek Spartan army and the Sacred Bands of Thebes, and studied philosophy.  “I then learned of the heroics of such people like Brenda Howard, Marsha P. Johnson, and Sylvia Rae Rivera, among other great names involved with the GAA after the Stonewall riots of 1969.”

“I have always strongly believed that there are three main topics that bring people together in harmony,” said Dennis, “Music, sport and the arts.  Regardless of gender or sexuality, sports stars and music stars need to come forward to be counted and take a stand for equality and human rights.”

“The GAAI needs assistance and funding in getting resources to our campaigners—this can range from educational literature on LGBTIQ issues and on HIV/AIDS, etc,” explained Dennis.  “We need to supply laptops for outreach work and find safe areas to use them in.  Currently many activists use internet cafes which leave them extremely vulnerable to being caught, beaten or even worse.  Those who do have laptops or other access to the internet can pay inordinate prices compared to their living means.”

Dennis stressed, “Most LGBTIQ persons in areas like Africa and Asia, once their sexuality, or Transgender or Intersex identity, are known, would be near unemployable and/or thrown out of their homes to fend for themselves.  We struggle to find the costs of a decent meal and first aid to those we assist who again would properly be out of work, penniless and under threat of violence,” Dennis added.

He told me about an experience that changed him. “At a conference in Austria, I stood up in the bar of the hotel and quoted the words of Archbishop Desmond Tutu from an article for the 60th Anniversary of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. The African contingent stood, sang, and chanted Tutu’s name while doing their tribal dancing—I felt enormous pride, as they had never heard what Tutu had said.” Dennis paused. “My mother regularly used to say to me,” he continued, “‘No one is above you.’  One day I said back, ‘And no one is beneath me.  I am equal to all and all are equal to me.’”

For more information about Dennis and his colleagues, visit http://www.gayactivistsalliance.org.

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Nicholas Snow

Floridian Venus Perez, a forty-something Latina who has been HIV positive for over two decades holds among her role models, not surprisingly, her medical team.  About the 2nd edition of her sought-after book, “I’m Still Here,” she explained, “We have come so far yet we are not quite there.  Many lives were lost yet many still live.  Many know the means of transmission, yet many neglect to follow it.  Many of us live the fast life, looking for excitement, for success.”

Venus was swept away at the age of 19 by a 27-year-old man in the greater New York area where she had been born and raised.  “I allowed him into my life at a very vulnerable time…  The relationship became intimate, and I never practiced safe sex,” she confided.

Ultimately, as Venus explained, “I reluctantly broke off my relationship…  After the breakup, I never heard from or saw him again.”

In 1986 Venus met and began to date a nice guy. A year later, on February 14th, 1987–Valentine’s Day–her boyfriend delivered the life-shaking news: “After handing me a gift, he held my hand, and said to me, ‘I have very serious information. Your ex-boyfriend died of AIDS.’  I asked him to repeat what he had said, and he did. I was silent.  ‘This can’t be true,’ I thought.”

Her life changed forever.  After more dramatic twists and turns as revealed in her book, Venus explains, “I had to decide whether I was going to fight or give up.  Did I have enough fight in me to fight the good fight?  I had to find a feasible method to give it my best shot.  I didn’t want to give up.  I decided I wanted to live!  Even though the results were grim, I wanted to try.”

“Nobody would know by looking at me that I had HIV,” Venus shared about finding a support group.  “We were newly diagnosed individuals with HIV (asymptomatic, showing no symptoms of the disease).  There were fifteen people who attended that day.  I cannot express how it felt to experience the long suffering and sadness and then the newfound release. We developed meaningful friendships and relationships.  We supported each other through good times and bad.”

That was over two decades ago!

Venus wrote and published the first edition of her book in 2006 to help those around her living with HIV who were having difficulty coping.  With the recent edition, she’s added two chapters which speak about the history, testimony, education outcomes and strength of people living with HIV/AIDS and other STD’s.

“Everyone has a light that shines within.  My gifts and talents consist of singing, writing, and enjoying time with family and friends in addition to socializing with people.  I always enjoyed people.  I surround myself in environments and places where I can exercise my gifts.  I offer to the world my ability to learn and to teach others which involves the gifts of service.  I try to be a positive person in the world exercising generosity, joyfulness, being hospitable and humble and reminding individuals that their life counts.  I try to be a positive influence in a negative world,” Venus concluded.

And she is!  For her books, please visit most online booksellers or her web site at www.VenusPerez.com.

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Where you may download for free (from the main menu bar) the MP3 for “The Power To Be Strong” HIV Testing/Safer Sex Awareness Anthem.

By Nicholas Snow

As we embrace a New Year, I am honored to report about the very important work of the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission (IGLHRC), a champion for us all.  You may have read the news that in recent years “the full United Nations Economic and Social Council (ECOSOC) voted in favor of a US-led resolution to grant the IGLHRC consultative status.  IGLHRC is only the tenth organization working primarily for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) human rights to gain such status at the United Nations.”

About this magnificent achievement, President Barrack Obama expressed, “I welcome this important step forward for human rights, as the International Lesbian and Gay Human Rights Commission (ILGHRC) will take its rightful seat at the table of the United Nations.  The UN was founded on the premise that only through mutual respect, diversity, and dialogue can the international community effectively pursue justice and equality.  Today, with the more full inclusion of the International Lesbian and Gay Human Rights Commission, the United Nations is closer to the ideals on which it was founded, and to values of inclusion and equality to which the United States is deeply committed.”

According to members of the IGLHRC team, “Our work requires the development of strong human rights movements globally, which is why building advocacy partnerships is at the heart of what we do.  As partners, we work hand-in-hand with local activists to strengthen their capacity to confront human rights violations at home.  We also connect our partners to the broader human rights arena—including the United Nations system and NGO’s (non-governmental organizations) at the regional and global level.  Together with our partners we create visibility for human rights violations by monitoring and documenting abuses and by responding to human rights emergencies.  We stand firm with those who seek to change discriminatory laws and policies affecting our communities.”

At their web site is a section that allows visitors to see what communities in countries around the world are facing, a great resource also for LGBTI tourists planning their journeys.  For example, if you look up Indonesia you will find a link to a document headlined, “Police Allow Fundamentalists to Disrupt Another LGBT Event.”

The story begins, “Twenty-four hours after they issued a permit to do so, police in Yogyakarta, Indonesia denied lesbians, gay men, waria (third gender), women’s-rights activists, interfaith-youth activists, and other human-rights activists the right to hold a cultural performance to mark the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia (IDAHO).”

The above is in stark contrast that in August of 2009 the President of Indonesia officially opened and welcomed the 9th International Conference on AIDS in Asia and the Pacific, held in the ostensibly gay-friendly Bali, which has gay clothing optional resorts, a popular gay beach and gay nightclubs.

“Four critical goals shape our work,” they continued.  “We advocate for the elimination of discriminatory laws, policies and practices, such as sodomy laws which empower police and other authorities to abuse, harass, extort, imprison and execute us.  We support the enactment and implementation of anti-discrimination laws, policies and practices to help build a world that is more equitable and fair.  We strive to reduce family, community and state-sanctioned violence, publicly condemning all forms of violence against individuals because of their sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression.  And we actively promote economic, social and cultural rights such as those related to employment, housing, education and health.”

They further explained, “Our work is critically needed.  More than 80 countries still criminalize consensual same-sex intimacy.  And every day in countries around the world, from Brazil to Botswana, Bulgaria to Bangladesh, those who challenge sexual or gender norms are arrested, forced into psychiatric ‘treatment’ or marriage, denied basic job protections, healthcare, and parental rights, brutally attacked, tortured, and even murdered.”

In conclusion, the team expressed, “We work for a day when people with diverse sexualities can flourish.  We work for the day when all human beings are valued, and treated with dignity and respect.  We work for the day when justice becomes a reality, everywhere.”

Find IGLHRC on Facebook by searching their full name, and be sure to visit their official web site at www.IGLHRC.org.

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By Nicholas Snow

How many friends have I lost to AIDS

?  How many ACT-UP protests have included my voice?  How many safer sex discussions have I participated in?  How many counseling sessions, self-help seminars and 12-step meetings have I attended?  How many times have I, as a columnist, radio personality and television host shared the wisdom garnered from such experiences with those who would read, listen or watch?  And most importantly, how many friends have I lost to AIDS?

The answer to each of these questions is “Countless!,” but clearly not enough to prevent me, in a collision of passion, depression, denial and poor judgment, from contracting HIV in August of 2007.  In many interviews since I have stated, “I became HIV positive decades into the AIDS epidemic, completely armed with the knowledge to protect myself.  It’s still a bit shocking to me.”

Three years after exposure I began taking antiretroviral medications.  My side-effects are vivid dreams and a spike in my cholesterol which may be treated soon with additional medication.  As far as HIV is concerned, I have had no other noticeable health consequences with the exception of the terrible, lasting, flu-like illness that occurred weeks after my exposure, one that left me sitting face to face with an infectious disease specialist in a Bangkok hospital who said, “Your symptoms could be the result of recent acute HIV infection.”  What?!?!

I played dumb.  I did not share that I had recently had unprotected sex.  I left with a scheduled follow-up appointment I never showed up for.  About five months later, on January 3rd, 2008, I confirmed my HIV status at an anonymous testing site, a New Year’s resolution of sorts.  I still could not believe this had happened to me.  In the coming months, I wanted to die, and unlike previous depressions (periodic because of life circumstances, nothing chronic), I actually looked up on the internet painless means of suicide.

I had to ask myself the question most likely going through your head right now.  Why, knowing what I know with the life experience that I have, would I consciously (and while sober, eight years-plus at that point, thank you) participate in unsafe sex?  I have come up with these answers:  1) I was with someone who said and believed he was HIV negative; 2) I was depressed; 3) I did not know (or had conveniently suppressed) how high the incidence of HIV was in the city in which I was residing; and 4) I had a false sense of security because I had remained negative so far into the epidemic.  NONE of these reasons are good reasons, but they are human reasons.

Before I could go public about my status to hopefully prevent others from following in my footsteps, I needed to tell my mom, step-dad, family and close friends.  On October 1st, 2008, I came out to my mother as being HIV positive.  She was very loving in her response.   Here is a journal entry from that day:

“Wow.  I had done it!  The most important part of my journey was over.  I had told my mother, and in telling her, I realized that she is the most important person in my world, the person I love the absolute most, and I am so grateful, and on the verge of tears as I write this, that she is my mother.  She has done the best she could and she didn’t’ do all that bad.”

On March 17th, 2009—the morning after a spectacular conversation with my mom and step-dad on the occasion of their 32nd wedding anniversary—as the result of an error during an outpatient laboratory test, seemingly almost as suddenly as I am telling you, my mother died.

For about two years, from April 2008 to April 2010, I kept a journal that I will be turning into a book, entitled Life Positive—A Journey from the Center of my Heart.  A bit part of this story is the creation of The Power To Be Strong HIV Testing/Safer Sex Song & Music Video Campaign, and I invite you to download MP3 for free at www.SnowbizNow.com.

What can one say?  I endeavor to rise above pride and ego.  HIV empowered me to do this with my mother.  I will cherish her memory forever, and dedicate each day of my life to more healing.­­­­

Follow Nicholas Snow online at  www.Facebook.com/SnowbizNow, www.Twitter.com/SnowbizNow, and at www.SnowbizNow.com. Follow “The Power To Be Strong” HIV Testing / Safer Sex Awareness Campaign at www.Facebook.com/PowerToBeStrong.

By Nicholas Snow

Born the son of one of the world’s most famous and celebrated authors, Lannie Woulff is now a transgendered grandmother in her sixties. Huh? Yes, Lannie’s upbringing was “more a bit out of the ordinary, mostly stemming from the fact of my father’s literary stature.”  Her father is the Pulitzer Prize-winning author Herman Wouk, a detail she does not volunteer readily.

“One summer at the beach, when I was around four years old, I was hanging out with a couple of the other little boys and for some reason I just blurted out, ‘Oh, I wish I’d been born a girl!’

As you can imagine, they laughed like crazy and made fun of me and went around telling the entire gang that I was a sissy,” revealed Lannie. “This happened long before GLBT liberation, back when it was fatal to admit something like that. Naturally, the lesson I took away from that experience was to keep my mouth shut and stuff my feelings. I went deep into the closet, locked myself in with denial and substance abuse, and stayed there for almost thirty years.”

“In my mid-forties,” Lannie continued, “when I finally learned how to work a computer and go online, I soon discovered that there were many others like me, who felt the same way. I was stunned, frightened, fascinated, intrigued, and horrified. I’d barely ever heard the word ‘transsexual.’ But beyond any doubt, I knew this was my truth. Nothing was ever the same after that. Despite the tidal wave of disruptions and turmoil that ensued, I felt absolutely liberated.”

Having had my own misconceptions over the years, I asked Lannie what she believes are the most common misperceptions about transgender individuals.

“Aside from thinking that we all look like Terry Bradshaw in a peignoir,” she responded, “I think the biggest misconception people have is that we are all gay.  But in fact, GID – Gender Identity Disorder – is about how you feel in your heart and your mind, and has nothing to do with sexual preference/orientation.

“One day as I sat pondering the paradoxical realities of switching genders, a thought suddenly flashed into my mind: ‘What if a male-to-female transsexual had unknowingly fathered a child back in his pre-transition days?’ In that instant, I knew I had discovered the makings of a whopping good suspense yarn, and ‘She’s My Dad’ was born.

“A cautionary tale about the consequences of blind prejudice, ‘She’s My Dad’ tells the story of a transsexual woman named Nickie Farrell, who, returning to her Northern Virginia alma mater to teach English to a new generation of scholars, is unaware that in the nearby town lives a son from an illicit love affair she had during her male undergraduate days,” explains the official synopsis.

Lannie, as I mentioned, does not like to talk about her famous father. Is this because she believes she would be perceived to be exploiting him? She responded, “People are free to perceive what they wish. Especially in today’s celebrity-obsessed world. I place a high value on privacy, as does everyone else in my family. Both of my parents were kind enough to read ‘She’s My Dad.’ I was enormously pleased by their reactions.

“Based solely on my own experience, I would simply say have patience, and be realistic. Patience is never an easy thing, but a hasty gender transition can prove absolutely fatal,” she advises other transgendered individuals.

“Take your time, do it by the book, and don’t cut medical corners. Just because you have the resources to buy a new set of genitalia within a year doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a good idea. As for being realistic, never forget that womanhood isn’t a fantasy, or a fetish, but a simple fact. If your idea of being female is a non-stop estrogen-fueled giggle of high heels, blue eye shadow, and sex, you’re on the wrong track. I’ve never yet met a woman who got turned on all day because she was wearing a bra. Forget the glamour and nonsense, and remember that women are just people.”

“She’s My Dad” is available at the usual online retailers – Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and so forth – in hardcover, paperback and Kindle formats. Become a fan at Facebook.com/IolantheWoulff. For video interviews, search YouTube with the author’s name or visit www.iolanthewoulff.com.

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Follow Nicholas Snow online at  www.Facebook.com/SnowbizNow, www.Twitter.com/SnowbizNow, and at www.SnowbizNow.com. Follow “The Power To Be Strong” HIV Testing / Safer Sex Awareness Campaign at www.Facebook.com/PowerToBeStrong.

By Nicholas Snow

Whether we like it or not, we’re all going to have one — a cause of death that is. As another World AIDS Day comes and goes, let’s have a reality check, shall we? I’m not writing this column to depress you, but rather to empower you. If you are reading this, you can be sure that you are alive.

You can also be sure that you fall into the first, second and/or third of the following categories:

1) You are HIV positive and you know it; 2) You may be HIV positive but have not been tested recently (or at all); 3) You were HIV negative upon your last test.

I came out of the closet before there was such a thing as an HIV test. The year the test arrived, and for over a quarter century, I was “HIV negative upon my last test,” but all of that changed on January 3, 2008, approximately five months after I became HIV positive because I did not use a condom when I should have. Yes, it took me five months to gain the courage to have the test as a New Year’s resolution.

I had been very good at maintaining safer sex practices for virtually my entire adult life, having turned eighteen years old in 1980. So what changed? Why did I have unsafe sex? 1) I was depressed at the time and not as focused on taking care of myself; 2) I was with a partner who said and believed he was HIV negative; and 3) I had a false sense of security about remaining HIV negative so far into the epidemic.

NONE OF THESE ARE GOOD REASONS for not having used a condom, but they are human reasons.

For millions of people throughout the world who do not have access to antiretroviral medications, HIV is a death sentence. For the tens of thousands of people each year who learn they have HIV not because of a test, but because they became sick with AIDS-related opportunistic infections, HIV is often a death sentence. For the thousands of HIV positive people (or more) who cannot tolerate or develop a resistance to antiretroviral medications for one reason or another, HIV is a death sentence.

This is to all dispel the myth, “If I get HIV, I can just take a pill and everything will be okay.”

So here’s my own newsflash as a result of attending an HIV/AIDS medicine symposium last year—as an HIV positive person, in spite of having access (so far) to some of the most modern antiretroviral medications in the world, I can very well have a shortened lifespan because of HIV.

For those of you who have remained HIV negative, please don’t buy into the myth that should you become positive all you have to do is take a pill and everything will be okay. Play safely. Stay negative!

To give meaning to my own mistake and hopefully prevent you from following in my unsafe sex footsteps, I
created “The Power To Be Strong” HIV Testing/Safer Sex Awareness Campaign, the cornerstone of which is a song with a music video subtitled in 20 languages (including Spanish) at YouTube.com/ThePowerToBeStrong.

But can a song make a difference in people’s lives?

Yes. How many people turn to music in their time of sorrow? How many listen to love songs when they have a broken heart? How many people are inspired by songs such as “The Wind Beneath My Wings?” Now a song exists to address the fears and concerns of someone who may have HIV. Recently I received a message from a Facebook user explaining that only two people In the world know he is HIV positive, and he went on to say: “I listen to your song every morning and it gives me the strength to face my day.”

My gift to you in the homestretch to the New Year as you consider your own resolutions, go online and visit www.SnowbizNow.com, and look for the “Free Song” link in the main menu bar to download “The Power to be Strong.” Remember, “Get Tested and Live Longer and Be Strong!”

I’d like to conclude by sharing one of my favorite quotes from Goethe:  “Whatever you can do or dream you can do, beg in it.

Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it Now!”

SnowBiz Florida Agenda

Follow Nicholas Snow online at  www.Facebook.com/SnowbizNow, www.Twitter.com/SnowbizNow, and at www.SnowbizNow.com. Follow “The Power To Be Strong” HIV Testing/
Safer Sex Awareness Campaign at www.Facebook.com/PowerToBeStrong.

By Nicholas Snow

R. Angelo Pezzote, MA, NCC, LMHC, LMFT, RPh, is based in Miami but demonstrates a worldwide commitment to healing. This manifests itself in an advice column, pod casts, workshops and lectures, and in his private psychotherapy practice. His book, “Straight-Acting – Gay Men, Masculinity, and Finding

True Love,” has touched many, including yours truly. Not only is Angelo filled with courage, strength and hope, he guides others in experiencing the same. He is, in fact, a modern-day shaman who has also been my friend for many years.

“In the words of Ernest Holmes,” Angelo quoted, “you can change your life by changing your thinking. Unless you change your thoughts, words and actions today, your tomorrows will continue to play reruns of your yesterdays.”

Angelo speaks from experience. He describes the single greatest motivator of his life as, “My pain. Out of the many painful losses in my life, I was forged into the person I am. Through the challenges in my life – childhood abuse, significant money loss, love of my life loss, and the like – I discovered natural love and joy at my core. I was cracked open, raw, and somehow through that, compassion emerged. I realized nothing else really mattered.”

Angelo put his pain into practice.

“Over the years, I realize my patients don’t need distant, cold, fancy, intelligent, clinical interventions from me,” he said. “What they need from me is to treat them while loving them, agape style, non-sexually and safely, so they can heal their gripe with humanity. That’s what this work is fundamentally about – healing heart to heart, soul to soul.”

“It is done unto you as you believe,” Angelo explained. “When you believe something, you get set in your ways over time.

Eventually you get hypnotized, only accepting incoming information that supports your belief, ignoring evidence of the contrary. Since your beliefs filter your experience that way, your reality is influenced by what you believe. Life is a mirror, whereby your experiences are reflections of your beliefs. Nothing in your life changes until you are willing to change your beliefs.”

“Leading physicists say that the underlying fabric of the universe is a field of endless possibilities,” Angelo continued, “existing simultaneously, suspended in a sort of quantum matrix with no location or state of being, until something occurs that locks one of the possibilities into place. That something is consciousness. So modern physicists concur with the central message – your thoughts collapse actuality from possibility.” Okay. Do what I did.

Read this paragraph again.

“There are two main steps that help alter your beliefs, thoughts and feelings to get more of what you want out of life,” Angelo elaborated. First, “No matter how many times old thought patterns and negative core beliefs return, don’t give them attention.

Be persistent.”

Second, Angelo continued, “Consist-ently generate positive thoughts even if you don’t believe what you are saying at first.” He gives examples: “Life is good. I am happiness right here and right now. I am whole, perfect and complete. I am love.

Something good is going to happen to me. The right people are coming into my path.

“You may notice when you start to use this positive psychology that negative thoughts and feelings will come on even more strongly,” advised Angelo. “Don’t worry. That’s just resistance. They won’t go without a fight, so give them one. Ultimately the negativity will die out and you will be left in the joy, peace and love of consciousness. Remember, the steps are most effective when used as a daily practice. This requires conviction, discipline and patience. It’s not something to try for three days and give up on.”

Profoundly, Angelo revealed, “It’s how you love that counts. You could say I was reduced to ash and like the Phoenix rose up out of the flames and recreated myself anew. It was ‘die in my protective isolation chamber’ or ‘find a better way to live in the world.’ I chose life and the only other path I could – love. It took being shattered, rocked to my foundation, to annihilate my protective defenses, open my heart, and love all out. I learned that no one could end my misery but me.  And no one could love me like I could love myself.”

People throughout the world are responding to Angelo where he’s at – at www.AskAngelo.com. Thanks, Angelo, for your service to humanity.

SnowBiz Florida Agenda

Follow Nicholas Snow online at  www.Facebook.com/SnowbizNow, www.Twitter.com/SnowbizNow, and at www.SnowbizNow.com. Follow “The Power To Be Strong” HIV Testing/Safer Sex Awareness Campaign at www.Facebook.com/PowerToBeStrong.

By Nicholas Snow

Meet “Yuky,” a thirty-something gay man from Istanbul, Turkey, and the creator of the web site, Istanbul Queens, a gay and lesbian travel guide. Yuky who is from a “modern and liberal, sensitive to the environment” family came out at age 18 to one of his close straight friends that he performed with in a theater group. Fifteen years later, while out to close friends and some family, Yuky remains anonymous in the media.

About homosexuality in Istanbul, Yuky explained, “No one can arrest you because of walking hand in hand or kissing each other in public. However, it is generally not very acceptable by the people except in some areas like Ni?antasi (high society district), Taksim, and Beyoglu.” Beyoglu, Yuky explained, is in the heart of Istanbul and known for shopping, dining, cafes, bars, restaurants, clubs, art galleries, antique shops, bookstores, and most importantly, people, including students, expats, tourists, and locals young and old.

According to Yuky, Turkish law states that everyone is equal without distinction of any kind such as race, color, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social original, property or other status – but this is not the case in reality. As reported internationally there is a great deal of trans-phobia in Turkey and there have been high profile murders of transsexuals.  Also, soldiers discovered to be gay are subjected to “a psychological test period and meetings” and then expelled from the military and not allowed to work for the government either.

Yuky advises tourists quite sensibly “not to be very open and not to invite people to their own place when they first meet,” and he also helps people identify the places in the city where comfort and tolerance levels are higher. Yuky recommends IstanbulQueens.com, his Gay & Lesbian Travel Guide for travel info. His blog (istanbulqueens.blogspot.com) has received visits from people in 143 countries since launching in May of 2009.

“I work alone,” said Yuky, who relies on his friends and supporters to help keep him updated. There is a lot to offer in Istanbul, such as shopping tours, river cruises, events and parties, as well as a gay night tour. He does not recommend the local gay sauna because he reports that it is dirty and has many “rent boys” inside, but does suggest two Turkish baths that are “not gay” but are “clean, small and nice” with traditional baths, foam massage and body scrubbing.

There are many gay bars in Istanbul (which are legal), some of which are identifiable by rainbow flags, and one club offers its own version of a dark room, this one called a Red Room. One gay club, formerly an opera theater, is known for its shows.

Yuky estimates that only 10-15% of gays in Turkey are open about their sexuality with most – especially those working in the military or government – staying in the closet. He also indicates that gays who live in “traditional neighborhoods” will remain closeted because, basically, everybody minds everybody else’s business.

Istanbul seems to have one thing in common with most cities in the world in my opinion, as Yuky explained, “Dating scene is very strange in Istanbul. When I talk to people, they want to have a relationship but they are not ready for a relationship as they are selfish and not ready to share their time, their life, and their secrets with someone – [they are] not respectful to the relationship. They are looking for relationships and end up with sex.” Popular online dating sites in Istanbul are the internationally popular GayRomeo.com and Manjam.com and a local website, Gabile.com.

Yuky has been lucky in love, having met his partner on a gay dating site ten years ago, and they have lived together for eight and a half years. Quite romantically, Yuky explained, “[We] did not see any photos of each other and did not know [our] sexual preferences until we met. The strange thing is, I did not like blond guys and he did not like dark-skinned guys.

But love makes you like anything.”
As for his own hopes and dreams for his life in Turkey as a gay man, Yuky confided, “I don’t expect much more than I have now. I would love to be open to my family and not to be expected to get married by people around me.”

SnowBiz Florida Agenda

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By Nicholas Snow

Film Festival attendees around the world have enjoyed the short film “GAYKEITH,” but few know that the director is a star in her own right with many credits to her name (including the role of Jack Bauer’s wife in the first season of “24”). Leslie Ann Hope has in fact acted in countless film and TV projects (search her name at imdb.com) including the recurring role of Kristina Frye in the hit TV series “The Mentalist.” I first met Leslie because we worked on the same film, “Formosa Betrayed,” directed by her husband Adam Kane.  Nope, Leslie is not lesbian, but she is Canadian!

“I was born in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada, and am always proud to say so,” said Leslie. “With a dad in the military, I was raised all over Canada and also overseas. I moved to California from Montreal two weeks past my 18th birthday, and although it’s hard for me to believe, I have actually lived longer in the States than I ever did in Canada, although I still consider myself Canadian.”

You be interested to know that Leslie only found out the fate of her character on “24” six weeks before the season finale. “The tricky part was doing press overseas when the show was an emerging hit and I knew I was ‘dead,’” she revealed. “I had to carefully navigate questions like ‘aren’t you so excited for Season 2?’ and ‘what do you think is next for Teri Bauer?’”

Leslie met Scott Edgecombe, the writer/star of “GAYKEITH,” through a friend.

“We fellow ex-pat Canadians tend to find and gravitate toward each other in LA,” she said. “Scott was a struggling actor and I often hired him as a ‘manny’ for my young son. Scott accompanied me on several acting jobs and we made a funny trio – Scott the big boy babysitter, my kid and me, traipsing off to locations to form a makeshift household wherever the work took me. My son is now almost 18 and still adores Scott. In fact, it was my son who did a lot of the music research for ‘GAYKEITH’ and found the tune that inspired the dance music written by Jeff Danna.”

“GAYKEITH” is described as “a short romp through the outrageous terrain that is Scott’s head – Luchadore, feather dusters, leather boots and internet porn.” As Scott explains about what became initially a monologue for his acting class, “This story is about how last Christmas, for 40 minutes in North Hollywood, I was gay.”

“When I read his monologue and was laughing out loud, I decided to turn it into a movie script,” explained Leslie. “I bought the rights and wrote the script. I knew Scott would play Scott, and the rest of the script was determined by the rule of writing whatever I wanted, i.e. if I saw Scott’s head exploding, I wrote it.  If I saw Scott in tighty-whiteys and a Santa hat, I wrote it. I was very lucky to actually direct what I wrote in its entirety – that rarely happens. The movie was edited by John Roberts who was simultaneously working on ‘Glee’ at the time.”

Making the movie was a family affair as Leslie explained, “My husband was the producer, my dear friend Charlie Stratton was

the co-producer, and my best girlfriend Cornelia Kiss was the property mistress. That being said, I think most of my pals were supportive and forgiving, but not entirely sure if they would love it. But you know what?  In the truest sense, I don’t care. That is to say, of course I want those closest to me to like what I like. But I am happy to say that ‘GAYKEITH’ in all its glory is all my fault, and I love it.”

In keeping with the themes of this column, I asked Leslie what she would like to say to the homophobes of the world. She responded, “What I would like to say is unprintable. What I will say is ‘Stop that nonsense and be your better self.’” She continued, “What I would like to say to my gay friends is exactly what I would like to say to my straight friends – I love you and am so glad you are in my life.”  You must check out www.gaykeith.com.

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By Nicholas Snow

Photo: Nicholas Snow with Manvendra Singh Gohil, February 2009

You may know him from his appearances on Oprah! After a privileged, yet isolated childhood and an arranged yet brief marriage which ended in an annulment, and ultimately finding and being nurtured by other gay men, a genuine prince has become one of the leading LGBT and HIV/AIDS activists in India, where in recent years their efforts resulted in the decriminalization of homosexuality at the national level.

His Royal Highness Prince Manvendra Singh Gohil (“Manav” to his friends, of which I am now one) is the the Yuvraj (Prince) of Rajpipla, 39th in line in the Gohil Dynasty, thriving for 600 years in the Princely State of Gujarat.

Manav was educated in Bombay, now known as Mumbai, and grew up primarily in the family’s colonial 15-bedroom mansion, at times with up to 22 servants – the home was eventually sold by the Prince’s grandfather to the Russian consulate, at which point they downsized to an eight-bedroom estate.

“Around the time of puberty, I came to know that I was different from others – I was attracted towards the same sex … I wasn’t sure what it was called … I certainly knew that I was different from others…,” explained the Prince, who did not know at the time that this was called “gay” or “homosexual.”

Manav was married at the age of 25.  His wife was 22. The marriage lasted for just 15 months and ended in an annulment. He was emotionally attached to his wife but not sexually, hence the marriage was never consummated. The young couple lived in one of the wings of the family’s 35-bedroom, 100-year-old palace, and had the marriage continued, they would have been presented with a palace of their own.

Manav was emotionally fragile, if not distraught, after his marriage ended, “so I didn’t have the courage to go back and live in the palace. Instead, I lived in Bombay for some time, till I got balanced, mentally balanced,” adding that, “In order to obtain mental equilibrium, I joined a short course in Yoga. I actually stayed in a Yoga center for a short period of time, just to fill in the gaps to attain the kind of mental balance in my life…”

A classified advertisement in a local paper led Manav to a community of gay men where he met one of India’s leading gay activists, Ashok Row Kavi. “It turned out that he was my next door neighbor,” the Prince exclaimed of Ashok.  “I couldn’t’ believe that, my god, the guy who I’ve been searching since the time I’ve known about him happens to be my next door neighbor.”

Much later, the Prince started drifting away from the family business and became more involved in gay activism and HIV/AIDS awareness and treatment issues.  After a breakdown, hospitalization and the intervention of a psychologist, Manav ultimately came out in the media, creating a firestorm and resulting in the King and Queen publicly disinheriting him. Ultimately, they reconciled.

“My hopes and dreams are to make India a country which accepts homosexuals, accepts us the way we are, as human beings. It is the mindset of the society which needs to be changed. I’ve just given a push to this movement by openly coming out and talking about our rights. I wish to continue this,” declared the Prince, “and I wish to see a day where gay marriages are allowed in our country.”

Could this be karma?

“Maybe I was assigned to be born in that manner. Maybe I was assigned to be an activist. Otherwise, you can think, I had no doubts of anything in my life. I had all the luxuries of life with me.  What was the necessity of me to start in the first place an organization to work for the gay community? There was no reason for me to do that. Give aside homosexuality – there is not a single royal family in India who has started an organization to work on HIV/AIDS. So, I think of it as maybe I was assigned to be born in this family and to be born here,” concluded the Prince, “and to find support from people like Ashok Row Kavi – who happened to be in my neighborhood!”

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Follow Nicholas Snow online at  www.Facebook.com/SnowbizNow, www.Twitter.com/SnowbizNow, and at www.SnowbizNow.com. Follow “The Power To Be Strong” HIV Testing/ Safer Sex Awareness Campaign at www.Facebook.com/PowerToBeStrong.