Florida Agenda

By DUNCAN ST THIBAULT

And Here We Always Thought It Would Be Ken… The new Blond Diamond Barbie sports more than a sequined-and-jeweled cocktail dress and fur coat: The creation of designers David and Phillipe Blond is also sporting the naughty nickname “Drag Queen Barbie,” after Phillipe’s penchant for wearing stylish femme fashion.

Mars Needs Spears! In her music video for 2000’s “Oops!…I Did It Again,” a rubber-suit-wearing Britney Spears welcomes an astronaut to the surface of Mars, and receives a gift from the spaceman. After the real-life Mars rover Curiosity landed on the Red Planet’s surface Aug. 6, the singer asked on Twitter, So @MarsCuriosity…does Mars look the same as it did in 2000? To which the reply was given (presumably by some horny techie at NASA’s monitoring labs in Pasadena, Ca.), @britneyspears Hey Brit Brit. Mars is still looking good. Maybe someday an astronaut will bring me a gift, too. Drill bits crossed Geek “hot talk:” I’ve heard worse.

Tight Ends and Wide Receivers Top Bullies – The San Francisco 49ers have become the first NFL franchise to record a video condemning antigay bullying and violence. The minute-long commercial features players Ahmad Brooks, Ricky Jean Francois, Isaac Sopoaga, and Donte Whitner as part of the “It Gets Better” campaign, which began in 2010 in response to a string of suicides by students bullied over their sexual orientation. In the spot, Brooks informs kids, “Something you should never experience is being bullied, intimidated, or pressured into being someone or something you are not.”

The team was encouraged by 49er fan Sean Chapin, who collected more than 16,000 signatures on Change.org.

Say What? “I think the whole thing, memorizing lines and trying to, like, say them and still, like, do movement, all that. That was hard.” – Ryan Lochte, Olympic goldmedalist swimmer, “commenting” on his “90210” guest spot.

A “Teenage Dream,” But Not An “American Idol” Singer Katy Perry reportedly turned down a $20 million offer to join the judges panel for “American Idol” season 12. According to reports, producers offered the pop star $18 million (the same asking-price of Mariah Carey) and then sweetened the pot a few million more. Katy is reported to have passed on the offer because, well—does she really need to be doing this at this point in her phenomenal career (nine consecutive top 10 pop hit singles and counting, for starters)?It sounds like Katy is “Wide Awake”—at least when it comes to her career.

CLIFF DUNN

It Gives New Meaning to the Phrase “Political Blowhard”

An anticipated 50,000 party stalwarts are descending upon Tampa this week for the Republican National Convention, and—according to the comedy Web site Funny Or Die—some of them will be taking full advantage of the city’s “gaiety”—from the vantage point of the Big Tent’s closet. A comedy sketch by Erin Gibson and Bryan Safi (the brains behind the site’s “Michele and Marcus Bachmann” clips), purportedly depicts a GOP bigwig bragging that gobs of money has been spent to ensure that closeted Republicans have access to their Grindr apps inside the convention center. “You know, Grindr isn’t just for gay men,” intones the “organizer. “It’s also for hypocritical, closeted gay men.” (In a related story, the Ybor Resort and Spa—which bills itself as Tampa’s “largest, all-gay, private men’s club, resort, and bathhouse”—is offering free admission this week to RNC delegates.)

Land of the Free; Homo the Brave.

Turns Out People Really Don’t Like Perez Hilton

Poor Perez Hilton: He was OH!- for-four this week, as Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, and Demi Lovato all unfollowed (which we didn’t even realize was a word until now) the celeb gossipmonger on Twitter, in response, rumor suggests, for his unkind remarks about One Direction member Zayn Malik.

You may have read that Hilton posted a video of Malik in which the singer asks a woman (who isn’t his girlfriend) for a little hotel R&R. Before PH had the chance to post the video, Malik deleted his Twitter account, posting: “The reason i don’t tweet as much as i use to, is because I’m sick of all the useless opinions and hate that i get daily goodbye twitter.”

With poor timing (and even more poor taste) Hilton posted “One Direction’s Zayn Malik DELETES His Twitter! perez.ly/QXFc4j Called it! I said he’d be the first to leave 1D! This is the beginning!” The Mouth That Roared got in another jab at Malik’s fans, adding “THANK YOU for all the laughs @ OneDirection fans! Muah!!!!!!!”

A diplomatic Cyrus offered an explanation for her side of the buzz. “i don’t know why everyone’s saying I unfollowed Perez I never followed in the 1st place,” Miley tweeted. “I have no hard feelings just don’t care 2 gossip.”

Tight Ends and Wide Receivers Against Bullies

The San Francisco 49ers have become the first NFL franchise to record a video condemning anti-gay bullying and violence. The minute long commercial features players Ahmad Brooks, Ricky Jean Francois, Isaac Sopoaga, and Donte Whitner as part of the “It Gets Better” campaign, which began in 2010 in response to a string of suicides by students bullied over their sexual orientation. In the spot, Brooks informs kids, “Something you should never experience is being bullied, intimidated, or pressured into being someone or something you are not.” The team was encouraged by 49er fan Sean Chapin, who collected more than 16,000 signatures on Change.org.

By RYAN DIXON

I wish I could say I wrote this prior to the NFL games played during week one, but alas, I didn’t. Call me a cheater but there were way too many important games in week one for me to just throw these predictions out there. Allow me to apologize ahead of ti

me to all the Dolphin and Bucs fans out there now.

Let’s start off in the NFC with the East division. The Super Bowl is being held in Dallas and the Cowboys are going to play like it. No doubt they take the division. I wish my Eagles could do it but not with Kolb at the helm. In the North it’ll be one last shot for Brett Farve. All he needs is for Adrian Peterson to hold on to the ball this year. The Saints take the South hands down, but it’s going to take more than a Gulf oil spill to excite this team back to the Super Bowl. If Alex Smith doesn’t completely suck this year, then the 49ers will take the West. Sorry Pete Carrol. The Packers and the Redskins, behind two great quarterbacks, take the two wild card slots for the playoffs. In the Wild Card round, the Redskins upset the Cowboys in Dallas. I’m taking the Packers over the 49ers in the second game. The Saints handle the Redskins easily to reach the NFC Championship game.

In a battle of Division rivals, Brett Farve makes one last push and reaches his second consecutive NFC Championship game by defeating the Packers. Farve continues the miracle run by shaking off the monkey on his back and defeating the Saints to reach Super Bowl XLV.

The AFC will feature some very lopsided games this year due to the high scoring offenses. The Jets take the East again this year thanks to another stellar year from their defense. The Ravens take the North. Many are pegging the Bengals, but with the signing of Owens, they took catches away from Ochocinco. The South goes to the Colts for the millionth year in a row. The Texans will give them a run, though. Even without Tomlinson, the Chargers win the West. My wild card picks for the AFC are the Texans and the Patriots. The Texans fall to their division rivals, Colts and the Patriots upset the Ravens in the Wild Card round. In the second round, the Colts will easily dispatch the Chargers and the Jets somehow manage to beat the Patriots. The AFC Championship game will be won by the Jets on the road in Indianapolis to set up Farve to face one of his former teams in the Super Bowl.

My picks may be a little out there, but how “feel-good” would it be when Brett Farve throws a game winning touchdown as time expires to win Super Bowl LXV 23-20 over the Jets?

And this time, Farve does retire for good.