Florida Agenda

By Michael French

Memorial Day has traditionally been a day of remembering Americans in the Armed Forces.

Whether they served, are currently enlisted or lost their lives during the wars in which the United States has been involved, this is the day our country has officially dedicated with acknowledgment, gratitude, and in memory to those Americans who have served and protected their country.

Every one of our lives has been touched in some way by the contributions our fellow Americans in the Armed Forces have made to the United States. Even if you don’t have a relative or friend who is serving or has served in the military, you probably know someone who does.

Dare to imagine what our country would be like. Would we even exist today without the sacrifices and service Americans in the Armed Forces have given to their country when she has needed them to serve. Are you able to even fathom the horrors, hardships and heartache many of these people must endure? Even the most realistic Hollywood production cannot truly “put” you in the “shoes” of our men and women in the Armed Forces.

Dad served in the Marines during the Korean War. He was the only survivor of his platoon, and suffered what we now call “post traumatic syndrome” until the day he died. My father was awarded the Purple Heart medal for his bravery and service to his country.  Anytime the phone rang, with the pop of a balloon or the snap of a firecracker, he would jump. As children, we learned to tell our friends never to call at dinner time because if the phone rang during dinner, my father would jump and his hands would lift the table, catapulting the meal my mother just cooked all over the place. We didn’t understand then that something so dark happened to my dad to cause this reaction. He did not talk about the war; all he did was give me pictures to look at that he took while there. My father said, “The only people who are quick to want war, are the ones who have never gone.”

My sister Joanne served in the Air Force, stationed in England, interpreting Soviet codes coming from over the Arctic Circle. There were so many other things an 18 year old girl could have chosen.

It doesn’t matter what your political views are regarding war. Regardless of what they might be, be charitable by giving of yourself, and give thanks to your fellow Americans for the generosity they have shown defending our country. There are many ways to show your “Thanks.” Some are: visiting cemeteries and placing flags or flowers on the graves of our fallen heroes, flying the U.S. Flag at half-staff until noon, flying the ‘POW/MIA Flag’ or participating in a “National Moment of Remembrance” at  3 p.m. to pause and think upon the true meaning of the day. Make sure you call someone you know who served to personally say “Thank You”. Send a thank you note to a veteran who is a complete stranger!

Yes, Memorial Day is a salute to our Armed Forces. It is also the traditional first day of the summer season. Have a BBQ at home and make sure the US flag is there, too. Don’t lose focus of the most important reason for the party! There are countless Memorial Day party ideas on the web. Cook up the iconic American BBQ “cuisine” of hot dogs, burgers, corn on the cob and potato salad in new, health conscious and inventive ways.  During the festivities, ask everyone to pause for a moment, raise that cocktail high and give a hearty, sincere thanks for everything our fellow Americans in the military have done, sacrificed and preserved for us. This Memorial Day, give a special thanks to the brave Navy Seals! The next time you are having fun sipping that martini enjoying the joie de vie, take a moment and toast with gratitude that man or woman dodging bullets on the other side of the world.

Thanks Dad! Thanks Joanne!

Michael French, is Agenda’s Home from Home columnist. Contact Michael at mf7954fla@gmail.com

By Michael French

I’ve lived in Florida at least part of the year for almost 50 years, before I-95, South Beach or Wilton Manors were ever heard of, and when Ft. Lauderdale was more famous for its Connie Francis movies than the gay mecca it is today. She must have been clairvoyant! In one of her movies she sang her hit single “Where the Boys Are.”

South Florida, for me, is paradise. I’ve traveled from “Sea to shining Sea.” There isn’t anywhere else I wish to call home.

Through the years I’ve endured hearing “these people down here!”, and just recently endured another tirade about “these people” by a fairly new resident to Florida. I feel compelled to give my two cents.

Florida’s demography is similar to that of the United States, plus, it’s a melting pot within a melting pot. People flock here, as past vacationers, corporate transfers, or trickle down one by one following their family, seeking the “good life.” All of them have one thing in common … great expectations! Ah, rose colored visions of living in paradise; the
sun, palm trees, lazy days at the beach, no bone chilling winters … a 24/7 vacation!

Reality, a place many new residents aren’t prepared to visit, hits them like a brick sooner or later after they’ve moved to Florida. Seemingly, all of a sudden the very reasons they fell in love with Florida lose their shine. Hmm, ever have a dating experience like that? New residents “wake up” to the fact they are NOT in New York, New Jersey, Michigan and certainly, not in Kansas anymore! It’s common to subconsciously expect the sense of belonging and roots which took decades to establish where they relocated from to magically “happen” in their new life Florida. People start nit-picking. Delis, bakeries, malls, the clubs, you name it, and especially “the people here”, just aren’t as good as from where these new comers came from. I’ve heard people bemoaning countless times, “People just aren’t the same here, I have made friends but not as close as the friendships I had back home.” When someone says that, I pose these questions: “How long did it take to cultivate those friendships from where they came from, and what makes someone think similar relationships will be made in a matter of months, one, or two years?” “With that attitude, can’t one see the “wall” he is putting up that actually hinders building the exact quality of friendships he says he can’t find here?”

Don’t compare where you came from to where you are! It’s smart advice in the dating game, and the same should be followed when you move to Florida. Every reason you fell in love with Florida still exists. Just think, ten really hot bathing suits can be had for the price of one chi-chi winter coat! Put yourself out there! Be the kind of person you want to be with. There are many GLBT sports teams, political groups and charities to join. Don’t count on the bars for social substance. Do the same things in Florida which helped you create friendships “up north”. Be yourself, engaging, positive and people will be warm up to you. Invite new acquaintances to your home. Do I dare suggest a party

?

All great friendships start with “Hello”. There are wonderful people out there. It is a cliche, but very true, Florida, like everything else, will undoubtedly be what you make it. Don’t stop chasing your rainbow! Hey, life is short, you’re here now, you have the power to make it your HOME in paradise!

What could be better than that?

Michael French, is Agenda’s Home from Home columnist. Contact Michael at mf7954fla@gmail.com

By Michael French

Though we are all very different, there’s one common thread which binds every single one of us. Every human being lived the first nine months of life, courtesy of their mother’s body, in the most secure environment they’ll ever know.

The vast majority of us in the GLBT community found a safe haven from an often judgmental world under the umbrella of our mother’s conditional love. The young woman, barely an adult herself, who gave me this wonderful life at the tender age of 21, was truly a mother to me in every sense of the word. Confidant, best friend, tutor, mentor and my most ardent advocate. She was a renaissance woman, way ahead of her time. Breast cancer survivor of 30 years, she went back to school at the age of 52 to be a legal secretary! Mom could lay down sod in the morning sporting jeans and curlers (remember those?). That same night, she’d don her pearls and a black dress for an evening out on the town, looking like a million bucks. She was my own Grace Kelly!

Among my close circle of friends, there’s only one whose mother lives in South Florida. For some of my friends, they can “visit” their Mom with prayers and warm memories. That’s the way I get to “see” my mother, who left this world four years ago. Just because my mother is deceased doesn’t stop me from wanting to celebrate her life and the infinite contributions her legacy continues to make to the life she gave me.

What better place to honor Mom than at home? I had this idea: Since none of my friends could be with their mom, we should have a Mother’s Day Party. Not that we need an excuse to have a party, but who better to celebrate than Mom? Each one of my friends made one of their mother’s favorite dishes. I asked everyone to bring a framed photo of them together with their mother to place by the dish on the buffet. The food was beyond delicious. We all expanded our pallets! I found out the favorite flower of my friends’ mothers and put them in a small vase on the table at each friend’s seat. The table was beautiful and a heartfelt tribute to all our mothers. At the table was an empty chair symbolizing all those who we wished could be there. It’s a tradition I began years ago. We all made or brought our mothers’ favorite beverage. Wow, there were several surprises! Those mavens of the 50’s tilted more than bridge club daquiris and punch! (They didn’t need vodka that cost sixty dollars a bottle either.)

During dessert we played “Stories”. Each of us told a funny story about our mother. It was great to reawaken and appreciate memories that may have grown misty under the shrouds of time. There was lots of laughter and some tears too, not from sadness, but the joy of remembering being loved.

There are other women in our lives who have been “Mothers” to us. My Aunt Marilyn, Mom’s sister, is that to me! I’m blessed! Whether we were lucky enough to have a grandmother, aunt, whoever she was, who nurtured our soul and made us feel loved, remember her on this Mother’s Day and thank her, every day!

So, all our mothers, wherever or whoever she might be, were there. They were at the table in a smiling photo, with the food they used to prepare for us with love, the flowers that brightened their eyes, the cocktails that made them silly, the stories we told and, most of all, within each of us. For it’s there, in our hearts, where our mother lives and will continue to live on.

Call your mother! When she’ s gone, there will be a million time

s when you wish you could!

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY MOM!

Michael French, is Agenda’s Home from Home columnist. Contact Michael at mf7954fla@gmail.com

Earth Day has passed. Just as a real “Child of Christmas” practices the spirit of the holiday all year long, a true friend of the earth doesn’t recycle the Grey Goose bottle only on Earth Day. His lifestyle is environmentally friendly 365 days a year.

The first Earth Day was in 1970. Regardless of the waxing and waning of political and societal attitudes towards the environmental movement, the effects of man’s exploits have taken an increasingly obvious toll on Mother Earth’s health.

We DO KNOW what we do or say can come back to haunt us. That rests true with our behavior towards our planet, evident in climactic changes, destruction of natural habitats, catastrophic oil spills, arsenic in drinking water, fish with two heads and the alarming disappearance of honey bees endangering food supplies due to the indifferent use of pesticides. The list is endless. No one has to look far, especially in Florida, to see what damage man’s unadulterated greed, wanton carelessness and belligerent ignorance has wrought upon the only home he knows: EARTH!

YES! I confess! I am what misinformed, narrow-minded people, benignly satisfied, being comfortably numb with the status quo, would prefer to blast as a “bleeding heart liberal, anti-American/free enterprise, TREE HUGGER!” If those are the definitions of someone who cares about the health of the “Home” we all share, then so be it!  Did I say “Share?”

Go ahead, label me!  Being gay, I’ve been called worse – far worse.

Florida’s ecosystems are extremely fragile. Her unique, expansive coral reefs, wetlands, beaches, etc., are very sensitive to human abuse. Intense heat radiated from giant parking lots causes storm clouds to pass us by, taking life giving rain with them. Beach erosion, algae blooms, decimated populations of the manatee, panther, avian and fish species, weather pattern changes threatening the existence of the Everglades, just to name a few, are sad results of man’s poor stewardship of the paradise he was given. Battered Florida teeters on a slippery precipice of an ecological abyss.

Contrary to what some will preach, Earth is NOT ours to exploit with unadulterated greed and blind, myopic goals, rationalized with Machiavellian dogma. Earth, is man’s to nurture and revere.

So, what can we do, one home at a time, to preserve our Earth? Don’t get negative falling into that “What can one person do to make a difference?” trap! All of the progress the GLBT community has made began with one person!

Being “Green” is so many things. In most cases it’s economical.

Recycle as much as possible. Buy a water filter apparatus instead of the trendy expensive bottled stuff and use a refillable waterbottle. Disposable bottles are a huge problem. Purchase a reusable bag for grocery shopping. Buy certified organic produce and meats.

At home, don’t use the heat button in the dishwasher, reduce the hot water heater temperature, and program the thermostat to 78 degrees, using fans liberally. Use power strips for computers, TV’s, and other electronics. They still sap power all day unless turned off at the power source, using up to $10.00 each per month! Wash clothing in cold water. Hot water is expensive and harsher on those designer duds. Use an environmentally friendly detergent.

Get a water saver shower faucet. Xeriscape! You’ll use far less chemicals and water, saving lots of money, plus have a killer yard! The National Wildlife Federation will issue you a plaque you can proudly display in your yard once they’ve determined your property fits the criteria to earn a “Natural Habitat” designation!

That brings me to being “Green” on the road. Get rid of gas guzzlers! We know the culprits and how useful most of them are NOT!

Anyway, they don’t make you more “butch”. Keep tires properly inflated, increasing gas mileage up to 20%. Slow down! Where’s the fire? Don’t start from the red light as if it was the Daytona 500! That only shows you don’t know this habit wastes gas, tires, and don’t see it’s only 500 feet to the next red light.

All of us have the responsibility and power to make positive changes. Apathy and lack of knowledge are our biggest hindrances leading to becoming a “greener” society. Every small step towards a greener lifestyle and mother earth breathes easier. It all begins at HOME!

Michael French, is Agenda’s Home from Home columnist. Contact Michael at mf7954fla@gmail.com

By Michael French

The summer party season is fast approaching! Are you ready?

For some of us, entertaining just our nearest and dearest strikes terror in our hearts. For others, a house full of guests is true happiness. I’ve learned that throwing a party doesn’t have to be difficult. It should be fun. Here are ten basic rules for making your party an unqualified success.

1. Don’t Wait Until the Last Minute! Plan your party at least four weeks before the event. The more time you have before, the more fun you will have, instead of being in a mad rush at the end. Create three lists (guests, menu, shopping). These keep track of everything.

Your Guest List: Phone guests you feel are essential to your party. If “the party just wouldn’t be the same without them,” make sure they’re free and invite them ASAP. Give invitees at least three weeks’ notice. Try something really novel. Dust off the Mont Blanc and write an invitation. Taking the time to hand write an invitation conveys genuine sincerity.

Food and Drink List: Cuisine and beverages are the party’s most important ingredients. Determine the main dish. To you it may be the same old paella, but to your guests it could be a new treat. If you’ll be cooking a complicated main dish, go for simple appetizers and side dishes. You cannot have too many beverages or ice. Don’t feel obligated to set up a full bar. It’s enough to offer beer, wine and a few popular liquors with the standard mixers. Encourage moderation! NEVER knowingly serve alcohol to an intoxicated guest!

The Shopping List: List everything necessary to make the party happen. Nothing’s more annoying than thinking “I’m sure I have that” only to find out that you don’t have it when you need it. You don’t want to be scrambling to find essentials at the last moment.

2. It’s in the Presentation. Color, color, color! Make sure you have as many colors and textures as possible. Think red peppers, tangerines, yellow squash and green beans to brighten up bland-looking dishes. Garnishes add color. They have the power to make even a simple dish look special.

3. Make Sure Your Kitchen Can Get the Job Done. It’s pointless to plan a party that your kitchen can’t handle.

4. Shop Smart. The sanest way to shop for a party is in stages. Don’t forget the local beverage warehouse. Thrift shops can yield wonderful finds for entertaining.

5. Set a Gorgeous Table. A beautiful table makes plain food elegant and inviting. You don’t need to spend a lot of money. Don’t limit centerpieces to flowers. Fruits, and vegetables, can add whimsy and charm.

Don’t forget candles!

6. Make As Much As You Can As Far Ahead As You Can. Waiting until the last few days before your party to cook everything just doesn’t make sense. The idea is to minimize your efforts so you haven’t exhausted yourself by the time the party begins.

7. Don’t Drive Yourself Crazy Cleaning. The bathroom is the one place you should spend some time scrubbing. It’s the room by which your guests will judge the cleanliness of the whole house.

8. Keep Serving Simple. The bigger the party, the more you ought to consider setting up several food areas so that everyone doesn’t end up crowded in one spot.

9. Ask For Help. One word separates the confident host from the person who swears he’ll never entertain again as long as she lives: Help. The larger your party, the more help you’ll need. I’ve suggested this before. Don’t hesitate to ask relatives, close friends and coworkers.

10. Enjoy Yourself. The hardest and the most important thing for a party giver to do is enjoy his/herself! You’ve worked hard, and want everything to be perfect. Your guests will never know you forgot the cucumbers for the salad. When guests arrive, they’ll be in a party mood and pleased just to have been invited. Take a deep breath before you open the door to welcome your first guest.

RELAX! This is going to be fun!

Michael French, is Agenda’s Home from Home columnist. Contact Michael at mf7954fla@gmail.com

By MICHAEL FRENCH

Once upon a time, there was life without cell phones! Yes, Virginia, it’s true.

From the get-go, I want to make one thing perfectly clear: I’m NOT anti-cellphone.

I have one of my own and I appreciate its usefulness in my everyday life.

These electronic wonders definitely have their utilitarian purposes. They are entertainment centers, and mass communication hubs. We rely on them to wake us up, organize our days, remind us about anniversaries, birthdays and waxing appointments, and store everyone’s phone number (some of which we probably should lose!). Thanks to cell phones, it’s easier to remain connected with the people we love. They help us complete “honey do” lists, are great business tools and are invaluable in an emergency. There are countless uses for the gadgets.

The warp speed of the cell phone’s evolution has only fueled the fire of our insatiable demand for immediate gratification. The photo you asked a handsome stranger to take moments ago of you and the gorgeous guy you just met at a Parisian night club, by just pressing a few buttons, can be on its way to a thousand of your closest friends all over the world. No matter whether one is sitting at the other side of a bar or in Timbuktu, thanks to the cell phone you can be reached by anyone, whenever, and wherever.

That being said, it’s become more of challenge to turn the world “off”, even in our own homes. The “moat of privacy” afforded to us, wherever we call home, is relentlessly being breached by “THE PHONE”. Like most of man’s creations, including cell phones, there can be too much of a good thing. Gee, just how DID we survive before it was taken for granted everyone did and “should” have a cell phone making us accessible 24/7?  Are you a slave to your cell phone? Would you step over a fallen old lady because you’re so entrenched in your phone conversation? Is your phone a siren-like temptress you just cannot resist, no matter what you’re doing or who you’re with?

This “Baby Boomer” has laughed to himself many times hearing someone declare “I couldn’t live without my cell!” It’s alarming because they really believe what they’re saying!
As far as I can remember, the world “BC” (before cell phones) was a pretty wonderful place; I grew up in it. As much as I do appreciate my own phone and the conveniences it affords me, I know without a doubt I’d live very well if the cell phone suddenly didn’t exist anymore.

I do turn my phone OFF often when I get home. When I’m home, I like to “return” to a world “Before Cell Phones”. I have a drawer I put it in. I leave it there for at least an hour, just to give myself some “alone” time. I’m HOME, and good enough company for myself to not feel the need to be texting, “Googling”, etc. Give it a rest already! Hey, if I don’t hear the phone, I’m not refusing or even tempted to answer it. Right? I like, when I’m able, to choose the sounds I hear, like music or the cardinal’s song in my garden, or maybe even just, God forbid, no sound at all!

These feelings don’t make me anti-social, misanthropic or old fashioned. My cell phone does not sit next to me at the dinner table. When I’m home I like to do my gardening, bond with my dogs, write, or maybe just DO NOTHING but sit outside by the pool, listening to the fountains, the birds and the rustle of breeze blowing through the bamboo.
And, if I’m lucky enough, at home, I just might have a friend or special someone with whom I’ll have some precious time to share. It’s them who deserve my undivided attention.

Now, where did I leave my phone? Only kidding!

Michael French, is Agenda’s Home from Home columnist. Contact Michael at mf7954fla@gmail.com

By Michael French

Speeding across Alligator Alley from Naples to Palm Beach with my mother, aunt, and three dogs crammed into the car, the Everglades was a fuzzy, green and blue blur. I was extremely concerned with the looming “beast” I saw in the rear view mirror. “She” was like a predator in hot pursuit, literally nipping at our heels, or wheels, in this case. Twenty four hours later I would find out first hand my worry was more than warranted.

“She” was WILMA, not as in Flintstone, but as in Hurricane Wilma!
Wilma was forecast to slam the Naples, Ft Myers area. It would just bring a good rain to Florida’s east coast megalopolis. I lived in Naples at the time. Trying to be proactive, the plan was to escape her wrath “roughing it” in Palm Beach at a family member’s home, all snug and secure, sipping champagne while Wilma was wreaking havoc in Naples. I had made sure I did everything possible to prevent any hurricane damage to my home in Naples. We had our plans. Life, as it often does, had plans for us.

The cliche, “To change her mind, is a woman’s prerogative” might be sexist, but Wilma did exactly that! With little warning, she changed her projected course. Vacuumed and funneled in by the unusually warm, shallow waters of the Everglades, steroids for a monster storm, she barreled due east from Naples, morphing into a category three hurricane, winds approaching 120 miles per hour, zeroing  in on Florida’s Gold Coast, home to seven million people.
We didn’t have time in Palm Beach to do all the things I had done at home in Naples to ready their home and the family for Wilma’s thrashing. As she bore down on South Florida, her winds roared like a freight train, rattling ten foot sliding glass doors, prompting all twelve of us to huddle in the master bathroom, the safest place to be during a hurricane. Just after the eye, with its eerie, ominous, deceiving calm passed, Wilma’s howling winds returned. Peering through the cracks of the shutters, I saw only a swirling soup of branches, chairs, debris and shingles.

The doors were blocked by fallen trees.

When I crawled out a window, the damage to the home and neighborhood resembled Hiroshima. Wilma caused billions of dollars in property damage, left thousands without power for up to three weeks and closed thousands of businesses. She clobbered South Florida with a vengeance less than 5 weeks before the end of a chaotic hurricane season. Most people, including myself and my family, were caught off guard.

Hurricane season begins June 1st and ends December 1st. Be prepared! Have an escape route planned. Keep the car’s gas tank full during the entire season. Have all your plans and materials in place at the beginning of the season. DO NOT wait until the last minute. Every municipality has evacuation procedures. If told to evacuate, do it! Local governments offer tried and true lists of the “Do’s and Don’ts” for hurricane season. Among them: Have a week’s supply of water, canned food, propane,charcoal and other non perishable staples. Freeze as much as  possible, including containers of water. Keep the fridge full. Full freezers and refrigerators stay cold longer. Have plenty of batteries for flashlights, etc. Fill the tub with water. Buy tablets to sterilize water. Make sure your insurances are up to date. Once a storm is named insurance companies will not issue or augment policies. Put patio furniture, etc in the garage or in the pool. If you don’t have hurricane shutters, board up windows and doors with plywood.

Hurricanes can have a fury more ferocious and vicious than a million enraged drag queens! There is almost always plenty of warning before a hurricane strikes. Why wait until it’s pounding at the door? Even when there isn’t much warning, as was the case with Wilma, when there’s sensible planning, personal responsibility, common sense and good listening skills, no one ever has be a hurricane victim. It’s never too early to be prepared.

Michael French, is Agenda’s Home from Home columnist. Contact Michael at mf7954fla@gmail.com

By MICHAEL FRENCH

So, what turns four walls and a collection of rooms into a HOME?

I’ve had this discussion with friends and family many times through the years. The word “home” has a much deeper meaning and is far more intangible. Home is the one place where you can do what you want, when you want, and how you want.

You are not constrained by anyone else’s standards. Home is your most personal and valuable possession.

Is where you sleep, and hang your hat after work, the parties, and where you introduce new friends to your most private world just an impersonal and colorless canvas that says little about you? Or, is your inner voice of how you view the world, what gives you comfort, happiness and peace heard through out the spaces of the place you call home? Would someone reasonably be able to tell you lived there if they didn’t know the home was yours? They should.

More than anywhere else, home should be a sanctuary where you can recharge, and refresh your soul. Make your “castle” a personal oasis where you can quench your thirst for solitude, and the freedom to be totally yourself, stripping off the “mask” you may wear at work etc.

What makes a house a home is the comfort level one has when he is there. Being in a safe and nurturing environment is so important. You are safe because you know with absolute certainty you can be yourself and be accepted by people who love you. Nurture yourself with a wall dedicated to the places you’ve been, and to beloved friends and family. Fond memories will make your heart smile. Being in a comfortable and familiar environment is so important to your sense of well being.

People, refreshingly so, are realizing all the space in the world isn’t the answer to happiness, nor is it prudent. More space equals higher taxes and it’s less friendly to the environment. Too many of us are almost enslaved, being more concerned with creating stoic, mute showcases, making “Keeping up with the Joneses” the primary goal instead of what makes us happy. It’s YOUR HOME. Decorate in the fashion which gives you the most intimate, personal, aesthetic and spiritual pleasure.

A house can be absolutely gorgeous with beautiful designer furnishings, a high end chef ’s kitchen full of the latest appliances and shiny granite, a bathroom with five star spa amenities, and a master suite with glistening silk sheets and an eider down duvet fitted bed. Without love, warmth and harmony it’s like a stunning, attractive man with the personality of a stone.The greatest ingredient that turns a house into a home is the people in it!

There’s something comforting about being around the things you love. My parent’s house always felt like home because it was full of warmth. Home is cozy. Home is lived in. It’s a pair of shoes in the corner, a blanket on the sofa, or “Fido’s” nose print on the window pane, left there while he was impatiently waiting to see your face, and magazines, not perfectly displayed, on the coffee table. All those things say, “Someone LIVES here!”

Kick off your shoes. Just throw the clothes on the bed. Put on the most comfortable T-shirt and jeans you have. Heck, throw all your cares to the wind! Turn on your favorite music and wildly, dance naked if you want! Just don’t scare the dog! Remember it’s YOUR HOME! Go the kitchen, pour yourself a nice glass of wine, step outside onto your patio or in the tropical, private paradise you created. Now, sit down. Relax. Yeah, put your feet up on the table. No one cares. Take a deep breath, let it out with a big sigh, and bask in the serendipitous luxury of YOUR “Home Sweet Home!”

Michael French, is Agenda’s Home
from Home columnist. Contact
Michael at mf7954fla@gmail.com

By MICHAEL FRENCH

Erin Pittleman stars in “Grey Gardens: The Musical”.

Photo: Courtesy, Rising Action Theatre

Ft. Lauderdale’s very own Rising Action Theatre’s production of the Grey Gardens: The Musical at the Sunshine Cathedral, offers a comically disturbing portrait of a mother and daughter’s’ relationship fraught with a paradox of emotions.

It is a “MUST SEE!”

Mother, Big Edie and daughter, Little Edie are iconic women — in an eccentric, precarious fashion — as the subjects of Albert and David Maysles’ documentary Grey Gardens. The Edies were the aunt and first cousin, respectively, of Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy. In the early 1970s, they lived in squalor and self-delusion at their dilapidated, family estate , Grey Gardens in East Hampton.

Some believe most women become like their mothers. The stage musical Grey Gardens emphasizes this transformation with that of “Little Edie” Bouvier Beale by casting the same actress, Erin Pittleman as both Little Edie and her mother at the zenith and collapse of their family fortunes. Mother and daughter share a love of music. The women, breaking into song emphasizes their tenuous, fragile grasp on reality.

It’s July 1941. Grey Gardens is a social landmark in East Hampton, Long Island, and home to quipping,sarcastic personalities. “We didn’t have a black sheep of our own, so we had to import one,” one of the Beales remarks of George Gould Strong,(Larry Buzzeo) Big Edie’s opportunistic, live-in piano player.

The play opens with Little Edie (Lisa Kerstin Braun) announcing her engagement to Joe Kennedy Jr. (Christopher Michaels), older brother of JFK. Big Edie’s plans to sing nine songs at the party indicates only one of the family fractures that makes Little Edie eager to marry and escape Grey Gardens.

Jerry Weinberg, as Big Edie’s father J.V. “Major” Bouvier, gives the song, “Marry Well” a real punch. Erin Pittleman makes Big Edie a larger than life figure prone to warbling in classic operatic style, or singing politically incorrect tunes such as “Hominy Grits.” She proves so innately likable she softens Big Edies’ hard edges and doesn’t seem to deserve the contempt of her daughter and father.

Even if you’re don’t know the story of Grey Gardens , you can feel their future is ominous, and anticipating the decline of the women’s lives in Act Two.

Lisa Kerstin Braun’s sweet voice conveys young Little Edie’s desperation. Her performance contains virtually no shared traits with the Little Edie at middle age. Her transformation is so bizarre, they’re like two completely different women. In many ways they are.

Act Two fast forwards to 1973 and becomes the tale of two charmingly, some what daft ladies vicariously living their lives in the shortening shadow of days gone by. Erin Pittleman plays Little Edie, while Dee Deringer-Piquette takes over as the now “Mrs. Haversham like, Big Edie. The ghostly song “Entering Grey Gardens” indicates the house’s filth: “The crumbling walls, the broken clocks/It’s like a 28-room litter box.” Big Edie’s teenage friend Jerry even wears flea collars on his pants to keep off the vermin! Neither Edie attempts to keep up appearances, further reflecting their decline.

Ms. Deringer- Piquette gives Big Edie enormous charisma, even though she is bedridden for much of her time on stage. Big Edie’s number “Jerry Likes My Corn” is both sweet , but hauntingly insane.

At one point, the Edies aggressively volley their decades-long grievances at each other. Their simultaneous complaints to the audience have such yapping musicality, it could be a song.

Meanwhile, Erin Pittleman’s poignant, touching song “Around the World” reaches emotional heights, tugging at one’s heart strings. Songs connect audiences to the roles’ feelings, but Grey Gardens’ songs also express the Edies’ eccentric detachment from the world. Little Edie’s “The House We Live In,” is rousing, pitiful and comical. The ladies’ mental states, like their once regal home, Grey Gardens, have run riot and become, an unweeded garden that grows to seed.

For anyone who has been a caregiver to an aging parent, whom at times tests the limits of their child’s love, who has put their own dreams on the back burner, this tantalizing play will echo a prickly, familiar, rotating, conflicting melange of anger, guilt, resentment,and sadness which at the same time battles with love, compassion, and commitment.

“Grey Garden: The Musical” presented
through April 3rd at Rising Action
Theatre at Sunshine Cathedral, 1480
SW 9th Ave.,Fort Lauderdale,
954-561-2225

By MICHAEL FRENCH

It’s Winter Party time! This is South Florida. What winter? Hearing South Floridians bemoan the occasional “deep freeze” of 50 degrees, is, for the rest of the country like listening to a millionaire complain about money!

Winter Party is an annual six day long bash, held on Miami Beach. It’s a cornucopia of festivities.

Whether you’re planning to be in Miami Beach for their Winter Party or not, add to the festivities and throw your own Winter Party at home! Make a huge splash of your own. Blend the “cool” of winter and the “heat” of a gre

at party!

Transform your home into a cool and icy winter scape!

You don’t need deep pockets to make your own private Winter Party a smashing success. Most of what you’ll need for decorating, can be found at a dollar or party store, in your own back yard and right in your HOME!

Design a stunning ice center piece for your table. Fill plastic or stainless steel containers of different shapes and sizes with water. Distilled water is best. Make sure you use boiling water. This helps keep the ice clear. Add colorful glass beads, flowers or fruit. They will look beautiful frozen in the ice adding color and dimension. Use sheet pans or platters deep enough to hold the melting water. Put aluminum foil on the beneath the ice for more reflection. Arrange the ice blocks in any way you wish to suit the shape of your table. The only limit is your imagination. For a standout dramatic contrast, add colorful tropical foliage such as pathos, ginger leaves, beaugainvilla flowers and pink Thai to the ice arrangement! These can all be found in your back yard, and, or the neighbor’s if you’re nice. The splashes of color against the crystal ice is striking! Get some styro foam balls of various sizes, add blue glitter to them, and scatter them on the ice center piece.

Creative lighting 101. Snake a meandering strings of mini clear or white lights under a translucent white or silver table cloth to add an even more festive flair. The cool glow is very flattering too.

Take small branches, spray them white, wrap some mini clear lights around them, and then place fabric batting over the branches, or fit cotton balls over the lights.

This makes for very cool ambient lighting. Arrange the branches in a large vase, spread out on a sideboard.

Use white plates, silver chargers, and white or silver napkin holders. There are no rules. Be daring with your creativity! Let your own personality shine!

For the meal: Serve a chilled soup like gazpacho, a salad of winter greens, colossal shrimp cocktail on a large bed of ice in a giant martini glass, a great standing rib roast, and choose a icy granita or sorbet for dessert. Always remember, color, color, color and presentation is sixty percent of the meal.

Cocktails anyone? On line you can find an infinity of delicious libations. Make sure to ask your guests to wear typical but colorful summer clothing. That will further the contrast between the tropical pallette South Florida and the monochrome of the “Winter” you’ve painstaking created in your home.

One more thing…. while you’re inviting Ol’Man Winter into your home, make him comfortable. Splurge….turn the A/C down to 50 degrees, and let the party create the heat! Beginning the festivities with your own Winter Party at your home, is the perfect way to set the stage! Give your friends a party they’ll never forget and will brag about when they go to Miami! Once again,

“There’s no place like HOME!

Michael French, is Agenda’s Home
from Home columnist. Contact
Michael at mf7954fla@gmail.com