By Alex Vaughn
Bullying is never acceptable and the news is rife with suicides as a result of anti-gay bullying in schools and colleges. The president has held a conference regarding bullying and is seen on a video saying, “You didn’t do anything wrong” for the “It Gets Better” campaign.
Most of the abuse we read about consists of verbal abuse that is psychologically damaging. Gay slurs, including the infamous ‘F’ word, are still bandied around in derogatory fashions. ‘That’s so gay’ and ‘you are such a fag’ are all too commonly used against young people to imply they are less than their straight peers.
However, “Faggot”, in particular, has achieved the ability to replace queen and queer as the hate word for the gay community. It has become the “term de riguer” for the 21st century against all ages and by people that should know better. Just this week, WWE announcer Michael Cole has come under fire for tweeting a homophobic slur about fellow announcer Josh Mathews. The tweet came shortly after WWE announced they were working with GLAAD to promote anti-gay bullying initiatives. In addition, openly gay Vanity Fair columnist Brett Hartinger, had to apologize for writing an article about Glee and using the word. The outcry on both was huge; Cole apologized almost immediately and Vanity Fair issued a very sensitive apology on Hartinger’s behalf.
In the case of Michael Cole, “Faggot” was used as an insult; in Brett’s case, he used it to intentionally shock and as an off-hand remark, and deemed it acceptable because he is gay. The difference can be noted however, the more we allow hate words to become shock tactics by those who are hated, it makes it acceptable for others to use them. Many gay people claim by taking the word on as their own, it desensitizes the effect. Really? Ask the fourteen year old who hears it every day in the corridor how unaffected he is. Saying the word over and over doesn’t make it less of an insult, it doesn’t degrade its effect on people. It is just as wrong and just as hateful whatever the context.
Be honest: How often have you used the word or heard it within the community? It is bandied about without a care in the world. Many people don’t realize that by doing this we only end up making it acceptable. Last night I heard three intelligent and active members of the community call each other “Faggots”. How can we teach the younger generation to be more tolerant when they will follow by example?
Gay bullying and name calling is nothing new, but now, as attitudes change regarding the community throughout the world, the word is becoming akin
to “Nigger”, a term we don’t – and shouldn’t use anymore.
As acceptance for black people changed, that word became totally off bounds; very similarly, however, the word has a cult status now within the black community. Rap songs use it
constantly and, by the same token, the derogatory term for a homosexual is overly used throughout the community. If you would dare use the word towards a black person, however, you can expect, quite rightly, for them to be insulted. This is a warning: By ‘making it their own,’ it has become a loaded term, that has in no way over the past sixty years become ANY less offensive. Do we really want to follow this path?
The attitude seems to be, ‘well I am one so I can say it’. Whenever I have heard people in bars calling each other names, it is meant in the same derogatory tone as “Queen”. By using this, we demean each other, and worse, imply that we agree a “Faggot” is someone to whom we can feel superior.
Bullying and name calling doesn’t stop with that. There is a lot of infighting and griping between Gay guys and Lesbians. Where is the unity? We are supposed to be a supportive community, yet gay men here happily call lesbians “Dyke’s” and lesbians yell out “Faggots” and “Queens” all the time. How can we genuinely expect people to stop using these words against us if, when they come into the community, they hear them all the time as either pseudo terms of endearment or malicious insult?
I mean, seriously. We aren’t children. We go around calling each other names like the bars are playgrounds. It is really simple to stop: Just don’t glamorize it by calling your peers “Faggots” and “Dykes”. It’s just not necessary.
When you do hear the term used against you and your friends, take a page out of the book of a guy I saw walking down Wilton Drive. A group of “real men” drove past him and yelled out “Faggot”. He simply turned, took a bow and yelled out, “Thank You!”
That is the way to diffuse the immaturity of people who want to drive through a gay area yelling out a silly word from the safety of a moving car.
If you or someone you know is in crisis and is considering suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or the Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-488-7386.
Alex Vaughn is the Editor-in-Chief of the Florida Agenda. He can be reached at editor@FloridaAgenda.com
