Florida Agenda

By John Sklba

In a culture that has allowed men to run society into a state of catastrophic ruin with no real consequences, the fear of lesbians in society doesn’t shock me. It makes for a safe outlet in the “blame anyone but ourselves” game played by the alpha males in control. Lesbians have been given credit for everything from tornadoes, 9-11, canceling prom, and the decline of marriage. Seems you lasses have been quiet a busy bunch.

While some of those charges are quite extravagant in their claims, there might be an iota of truth in them. When more logical reasoning like terrorist, nature, and bigotry appear magically, as if outta thin air, that iota about two women being in love as a reason for some of these problems just seems to disappear in the thinking of most rational folk’s minds. Of course this is America, where freedom allows for rational thinking to be ignored and stupidity to get a pulpit to reach and influence millions.

Case in point, the claim that Ellen Degeneres and her “lesbian activism”  is to blame for “American Idol’s” ratings decline. Certainly a bizarre claim if there ever was one, but at least there is some thought process involved with the notion. Conservative minded folks could be inclined in switching to another channel because Ms. Degeneres espouses alternative lifestyles. Gary McCullough, the director of Christian Newswire, explains:

“While renewal talks continue with FOX, excuses for the show’s decline have been widespread.  This season’s new judge, Ellen DeGeneres, is the recipient of a good deal of the blame for the rating drop, but not for the glaringly obvious reason: Miss DeGeneres is a lesbian activist.” – Gary McCullough www.earnedmedia.org/ccn0524.htm. 6/24/10.

Hold on one second, research needs to be conducted. Okay thirty seconds using Google and my work is done. When Ellen outed herself on her old TV show it drew some forty two million viewers, a higher number then any average viewing number for any season of “American Idol” in its eight years of broadcast. Guess “lesbian activism” was uber popular back in ’97 or something.

I’m hard pressed to swallow a pill suggesting “lesbian activism”, whatever that actually is, is really to blame for the ratings decline in a show that has been on air for nine seasons. As someone who has watched maybe five minutes of “American Idol”, but knows a thing or two about being a pubescent male, it’s easier for me to think a harder in your face styled lesbian anything might get people who generally aren’t inclined to watch musical shows to tune in. Certainly your more average male viewers might start watching.

Should “American Idol” stoop to such lowbrow tactics; no of course not; the show should be about the performers, but after you’ve shattered multiple television records where else is there to go but down in ratings. Was Ellen brought in to push some gay agenda as McCullough also suggested in the same article; the truth may never fully come out, but I seriously doubt her sexuality was a driving force in her getting the gig when she popped ratings when guesting on other shows and people tend to respond well to her positive attitude. Besides, Ellen being gay is old news and it adds nothing of value to the show.

If Ellen being gay in 2010 would be so controversial that it could cost viewers, I can’t imagine any producer worth one’s salt would give her a position on the show, let alone one so prominent. Of course because its 2010 gays being on TV shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone. Obviously McCullough missed some of the previous seasons of “American Idol” with Clay Aiken and Adam Lambert or any one of numerous television shows that happened over the last few decades that must have been also been promoting that gay agenda.

Now assuming McCullough isn’t really gay, would someone who’s actually gay tell me what this gay agenda is and how does being on TV promote it exactly? I’m not changing the channel if all it’s about is tolerance and acceptance.

By John Sklba

Despite all they have done for me, my contemptuousness for weddings knows no bounds. Straight people, some even brilliant, actually, and quite foolishly believe some ancient mystical/magical ceremony will somehow bound them together, forever in, realms far beyond the ones us mere mortals inhabit. The astute individuals know what a prenuptial agreement is. With the national divorce rate over half at this point, I think its safe to say marriage serves little purpose beyond personal satisfaction in staking one’s relationship and some tax benefits that I, as a “bachelor until I die kinda guy”, will never fully understand.

Still if you want to walk down that aisle you can, unless you happen to be gay and then it’s all religious mumbo jumbo opposition. I hate to be the waver of the truth flag, wait, no I don’t hate it, I freaking love to do it, gays marry straight people all the time. Hell, some of those marriages are even contributing to the divorce rate. Just ask Fran Drescher of all people.

The reason gay people marry straight people seems as varied as the people involved. To not be a total uninformed nitwit writer who will never experience such things, research was conducted via this newfound contraption I overheard about last week called the Internet. Asking a forum of gays about the question provided feedback along the lines of my initial suspicions, but apparently, and make sure you tell everyone you know who uses the Internet for research this, people on the internet lie. So, admittedly, a little salt might be in my results. Pour it on the margarita rim if it is.

Getting married does offer a crucial key component for surviving in a world where twist and turns can occur suddenly without warning. Benefits. When people of opposite genders get married over 1,000 Federal benefits ranging from adoption to next of kin status kick in. A gay associate of mine was very happy for the laws of citizenship that prevented his deportation because he could marry a woman.

There is also this little thing called health care. Information puts the statistic for companies offering same-sex benefits someplace around the low teens at tops. So if the product your employer makes kills millions and your idea of love matches their PR image, congratulations you can get benefits. Being gay means that cost burden for the doctor will probably fall directly on you. Actually acting as if you care about a woman might be worth it in that case.

For every good reason gay people decide to marry straight people, there are extremely negative aspects about the issue. It seems as if you portray anything other than a white Christian male and want to run for politics your odds of winning start dropping faster then pants at a Larry Craig bathroom party. Even if you’re not white and male, marrying the opposite gender puts an “acceptable” face on you to your fellow straight-laced neighbors the Jones’. It conveys something about your alleged normalcy.

Being perceived as normal is so important in this “image is reality” world that the results can be disturbing. Gays enter into loveless marriages with straights simply to avoid nagging questions that are really no ones business but their own. How these relationships are good for anyone’s psyche is beyond me. Is being alive and trapped better than being prosecuted, legally or otherwise. May no one reading this ever have to find out.

Of course there is also the gray side of the issue. What happens when after umpteen years of marriage you realize, hey, I’m gay. Between your partner(s), your kids, and you, feelings are going to get hurt. There are websites devoted to this concept so if you are in that situation and need some help, advice, or support, know that it is out there on that world wide web thingy I mentioned earlier.

At some point in human history marriage evolved from an expression of love to a goal one should obtain. Not an equal to beating Super Mario Brothers, but something that can be accomplished all the same. In most cases it seems the goals for gays marrying straights is to simply get a luxuries society has decided to deny them, which sucks, but is certainly not as bad as it was fifty years ago. Evolution takes time folks. In the worst of cases they marry to perpetuate a lie for the benefit of….well no one as far as I can tell. Unless you’re pro the broken hearted.

Freedom of speech works two ways

Being offended is great. We take for granted how truly awesome free speech can be as a tool for change. If people weren’t allowed to utter bigoted, racist, or downright moronic ideas, where would we get our motivation to make the world we live in a better place?

Martin Luther King got tired of hearing how his skin color determined his place in society. The Stonewall riots happened in part because gays were tired of being stigmatized as anything other than a normal part of society. Every time the Phelps family protests, people unite against their messages of hate. So lets all be thankful the next time some one deeply offends you – great inspiration for change can sprout from that ability to exchange ideas freely.

Freedom of speech is such a beautiful, deadly double-edged sword. It affords both viewpoints on an issue, no matter how controversial, to express openly. No matter which side of the issue is in the majority, you can still scream at the top of your lungs “you’re wrong moron” and its thankfully all nice and legal. The same right that lets gays proudly identify self-worth in their homosexuality affords bigots the right to scream “faggot” in their face. Yeah it’s not polite, but the alternative of not being allowed to do either frightens me more than the hurt feelings gathered up over the years of being called names. Sticks and stones and all that jazz.

Dale McAlpine’s world view clashes with mine, but not enough to scare me into censorship. McAlpine firmly believes homosexuality is a sin. This notion is hardly original, nor is the phrasing “homosexuality is a sin”, a particularly offensive way to express that thinking. If you are offended and your panties have twirled into the proverbial bunch, go to Godhatesfags.com and realize McAlpine’s choice in uttering his declaration of his beliefs is a Care Bear in comparison to what free speech legally allows to be openly expressed. Sure his opinion is based on ridiculously dated antiquated notions, but if you’re entitled to your opinions, no matter how insane others think them, he should get the exact same freedom.

A gay police community support officer, Sam Adams, was told second hand about McAlpine’s point of view he expressed in public and arrested him under the Public Order Act of 1986 – a law in the UK that seems highly open to misuse as clearly seen in cases like this. McAlpine, believing he had equal rights with the rest of the whack jobs out there, never denied what he said nor wavered from his viewpoint when confronted by law enforcement. While detained, enough scientific information was collected on McAlpine that Winston Smith was overheard mumbling about longing for the good old days.

Now if this was the first time officer Adams had been told his life style was offensive to some people he must have been living under a rock someplace deep within the English country side. If he was a good cop, he’d have known similar cases have been dropped and in the grand scheme of things, he was hurting himself. You can’t be the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender liaison officer for the police in a society that doesn’t allow for free speech, nor can you be open about your sexual orientation, especially while serving the public.

U.S. Rep. Steve King brought an interesting opinion to the free speech dance floor recently. If you don’t want to be discriminated against for being gay, be more discreet about it. Sounds like solid logic in my book. If you don’t want your life to be dissected, don’t put it on display. Next time I start screaming at people that the crosses around their necks represent oppression, bigotry, sexism, racism, and all sorts of other such fun filled family activities Mr. King better back my actions or at least bother to attend my funeral.

Am I advocating for hate speech? For freedom to truly exist, yes, we have to tolerate those of the more limited thinking mindset and their right to hate. They can organize and throw rallies promoting the downfall of every minority group they like so the rest of us can have the freedom to throw parades celebrating those very same groups. Attendance numbers clearly indicate who the majority sides with more often, or possibly who cooks better hamburgers and hot dogs.

While witnessing two wrestlers planning their ring action, the power of free speech to create change became obvious. Speaking freely, concessions were made between them so ultimately the best match possible could be created. Hate speech is the concession to allowing society to find better answers than name calling as a resolution to our differences or problems. So don’t just be offended, be motivated to make a difference. Who knows what your words may accomplish.

John Sklba is a graphic designer who lives in Plantation. John has spent time in Detroit, Saginaw and Atlanta. He can be reached at TroyM@jumponmarkslist.com