I will never forget a moment some years back when I was waiting in line to use the men’s room at a local Irish bar, when I noticed the guy standing in front of me. I was looking at the ground when I noted that the color of his pants was a U.S. Army dress green, as, I observed, was his shirt (and the other military accoutrements upon his collar and epaulets confirmed his occupation as an armed servicemember).

He must have intuited that I was taking in the back of his collar—I swear, it was the back of his collar—because he glanced to his periphery and—busting me in actu —nodded politely. Having finished his business inside the stall, the young corporal—whose rank I determined from his collar insignia and whose age I placed around 25—smiled with what I thought was an expression of politeness, but which quickly dawned on me was more akin to that of familiarity. (Although this is going to sound like a story about how cool I am, the fact is that, when I am dressed a certain way, and under the right lighting—squinting helps, too—I am occasionally mistaken for ex-military—or, in even worse light, an officer of the law.)

As I squeezed past him into the stall, I nodded in acknowledgement, and he gave me the briefest of winks. And then I heard him say, very softly—but in a tone that clearly carried his words in the short distance separating us—“Don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t swallow.” Memorial Day, like many of our most cherished celebrations, has been diluted through the years until its raison d’être has lost all meaning. Originally called Decoration Day, it commemorated the nation’s dead from both sides of the violent and bloody (625,000 total dead, over 400,000 wounded) American Civil War.

Its theme eventually evolved into one that celebrates America’s exceptional place in the world, along with our international role as—in the words of President Ronald Reagan— “the arsenal of freedom.” I would offer, as well, that as gay men and women, we have a duty to honor the brave and pioneering individuals whose willingness to risk both professional and personal safety in coming out of the barracks closet helped to dismantle the egregious and un-American Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT) policy.

It was their courage in coming out, while under orders not to do so, that provided the impetus for removing an unfair and irrational obstacle that stood in the way of future openly gay patriots. As Adm. Mike Mullen, then Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, told the Senate Armed Services Committee in 2010, “No matter how I look at the issue, I cannot escape being troubled by the fact that we have in place a policy which forces young men and women to lie about who they are in order to defend their fellow citizens.”

The opponents of repealing DADT were blinded by bigotry, and the desperation to defend what was clearly a lost cause, two things that prevented them from seeing the long view of history, which records thousands of years of open homosexual service in the military forces of antiquity. The most often-cited example of homosexual soldiers in the ancient world is that of the Sacred Bands of the Greek city-state Thebes (“a band cemented by friendship grounded upon love is never to be broken”), a kind of Bronze Age “special forces” who were said by Plutarch to have died to the last man— all 300 paired lovers—against the forces of King Philip II of Macedonia in 338 B.C.

The king—whose son, Alexander the Great, is another “gay icon” from antiquity—was said to have been so moved when seeing their bodies, that he exclaimed “Perish miserably any man who suspects that these men either did, or permitted, anything unseemly.” The ubiquity of “gay” relationships in the militaries of the ancient world was cause for scandal in its day, as well, but only because it made some generals nervous that too much emphasis was placed on “gay unit tactics.” “Placing your loved one next to you seems to be a sign of distrust,” rebuked the 4th Century Greek commentator Xenophon, adding rather smugly— in comparison, that “[we Spartans] make our loved ones such models of perfection, that even if stationed with foreigners rather than with their lovers, they are ashamed to desert their companion.”

The greatest warrior-statesman of ancient Thebes, Epaminondas, had two male lovers, one of whom, Caphisodorus, died with him in battle. The couple was buried together, a practice that was reserved for husbands and wives in Greek society. The warriorlovers Aristogiton and Harmodius are credited with the downfall of tyranny in Athens, and became the emblem of the Greek city-state. As we celebrate this Memorial Day, let us commemorate these great warriors, for having lived and died in the manner and as the persons they were born, and let us thank Col. Marguerite Cammermeyer, Lt. Col. Victor Fehrenbach, Lt. Dan Choi, and so many other LGBT patriots for their service and their commitment to freedom for us all.

As Huston told San Diego LGBT Weekly, “This is a huge step for me,” acknowledging that the eyes of history—as well as thousands of LGBT servicemen and –women—were upon him and Guerrero (a name which, in Spanish, translates as “warrior”). Upon Guerrero’s appearance and following several minutes of reunion, Huston asked for Guerrero’s hand in marriage, producing an engagement ring and asking “Will you marry me?” as reported by LGBT Weekly. After Guerrero accepted with a simple “Yes,” he admitted that he was “blown away.” “I was shocked that after all we’d been through, he would honestly want to spend the rest of his life with someone like me,” Guerrero said.

Guerrero told CNN that he thought at first that Huston was breaking up with him because he had first asked the Marine to remove his “promise ring.” “Once he got down on one knee, I literally started thinking, like, ‘Is he serious? Is he really going to ask me to marry him after everything we’ve been through?’”

Huston—who was discharged from the Navy in 2006 under DADT—said their engagement sends a positive message to LGBT troops. “It’s important to us ’cause we got engaged,” he explained, “but it’s also important because there’s young gay people coming out of boot camp who, even though it’s okay to be gay in the military, there’s still a stigma and I want them to be like, ‘Okay, well other people have done it, so I don’t have to be ashamed of who I am.’” He added, “I spent too many years being ashamed of who I was and trying to be someone I wasn’t.”

LGBT advocates say that the proposal represents the most recent in a series of turning points for gay servicemembers and their partners. In December, Navy Petty Officer 2nd Class Marissa Gaeta was photographed—in what came to be called the “kiss heard ’round the world”—in a loving embrace with her partner, Navy Petty Officer 3rd Class Citlalic Snell after Gaeta’s ship returned its Virginia Beach base. The image was compared with the iconic picture by photographer Alfred Eisenstaedt depicting nurse Edith Shain locked in a kiss with an unknown sailor at the close of the Second World War. Gaeta had won in a charity raffle the honor of the service’s traditional “first kiss.” Also groundbreaking was the picture taken in February of a gay Marine sharing a kiss with his boyfriend at Marine Corps Base Hawaii with his boyfriend, also went viral.

“It’s settled law in Massachusetts. Quite frankly, everybody’s moved on,” said Brown on the March 19 broadcast of “Piers Morgan Tonight.”

In the past, Brown has said that he opposes marriage equality, but he has never made it a campaign theme. The Republican split with his party in supporting President Obama’s repeal of the Pentagon’s Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT) policy.

“We’ve moved on. I encourage everyone else to move on,” Brown told the CNN host. “It should be decided state by state basis. I’m focusing on those other things.”

Democrats say that Brown’s record on LGBT rights leaves much to be desired. They point to his opposition of non-discrimination legislation for LGBT persons, and his refusal to take part in an anti-bullying video.

“If Scott Brown thinks marriage equality is settled law in Massachusetts, he should talk to the thousands of gay couples whose marriages aren’t recognized by the federal government,” said Kevin Franck, spokesman for the Massachusetts Democratic Party.

Brown is in a re-election race for his U.S. Senate seat, the one formerly held by the late Ted Kennedy.

His presumed Democratic opponent, Harvard law professor and former U.S. Treasury Department official Elizabeth Warren, has been endorsed by the Human Rights Campaign.

NORTHFIELD, VT – The military academy from which graduated America’s original ROTC cadets is celebrating another groundbreaking first: The Norwich University Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning, and Allies Club (NULGBTQA) is hosting the school’s first gay pride week.

The weeklong commemoration, which began on Monday, will culminate on Saturday with the school’s first Queer Prom, which will be attended by Vermont Gov. Peter Shumlin and Army Chief Warrant Officer Charlie Morgan. Morgan publicly announced she was gay on Sept. 20, 2011, the day the federal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT) law was repealed. It was also the day Norwich students formed the NULGBTQA.

In a statement, Joshua Fontanez, the president of NULGBTQA and the third-highest-ranking member of the Norwich University Corps of Cadets, said that the weeklong commemoration is meant to highlight patriotism and equality, and to try to educate the public about the challenges and issues faced by LGBT persons, including bullying, harassment, HIV and bias, based upon sexual identity.

The NULGBTQA was the first LGBT group founded on a military campus. The week of events at Norwich University, which was founded in 1819 as the American Literary, Scientific, and Military Academy, also features a day for celebrations or issue discussions for each of the six colors on the gay pride rainbow flag. Norwich is also the birthplace of the nation’s Reserve Officers’ Training Corps (ROTC) program. The school was also among the first to admit women and African Americans into its Corps of Cadets.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was the policy prohibiting gay and lesbian military service members from openly declaring their sexual orientation.“The repeal [of DADT] is bringing a new wave of equality, a new wave of rights that so many generations have been waiting for,” Fontanez, from Brown Mills, New Jersey, told Vermont Public Radio [VPR]. The Norwich senior said that schoolmates didn’t know he is gay until after the repeal of DADT. The policy prohibited gay servicemembers from declaring their sexual orientation without the fear of official reprisals.

Fontanez, 22, plans to be commissioned as a U.S. Army infantry officer in May. He told VPR that he had always wanted to serve his country, but believed he would have to hide his sexuality. “It’s something I feel I was truly called toward and truly loved, so it’s great that I don’t have necessarily to make that sacrifice,” Fontanez said.

In addition to the participation of Vermont Gov. Peter Shumlin, Fontanez anticipates the return and support this week of many school alumni. “They are truly saying, ‘we’re proud to come back home. This is something we wish that happened when we were here,’” said Fontanez.

The future officer says that 30 to 35 members attend the club’s meetings- -about three-quarters of them from the school’s Corps of Cadets.

Approximately 115 of the 200 graduating Corps of Cadets members plan to be commissioned in the U.S. armed forces through ROTC.

The Washington Whispers blog at U.S. News & World Report noted pessimistically on December 27 that fully half of the military’

s youngest officers oppose gays serving in the military. The blog reported that, according to a new survey from West Point scholars, conservative male military academy cadets are especially hostile to the year-old repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT).

The survey, published in the journal Armed Forces & Society, reports “the findings show being a cadet is associated with stronger agreement for barring homosexuals from military service.”

The data is part of an ongoing study of students who attend U.S. military service academies, as well as those in civilian schools, and individuals who are enrolled as ROTC cadets. The survey uncovered a large disparity among college students’ attitudes toward gays serving in the armed forces: 41% of ROTC students and 53% of those at military academy cadets oppose gays serving, while those students who do not intend to serve in the military generally support repeal of DADT, with only 13% opposing gays in the military.

The study data does not distinguish between gays serving openly or under the restrictions of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Those restrictions have been in place since 1993.

The differences in student opinions reflect wider societal divisions: during the policy debate over the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, the senior commanders in the Joint Chiefs of Staff opposed Obama’s decision, citing concerns about service morale. But the highest ranking Pentagon officials, among them the Secretary of Defense and chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, supported the president’s plan.

Politics and gender also apparently factored into survey responses, with 70% of those described as “male Republican cadets” supporting DADT, and 44% of “female Republican cadets” also in opposition to gays serving in the military. Only 4.5% of those describing themselves as “female Democrat civilians” oppose gay military service.

As U.S. News & World Report noted, the opposition of service academy and ROTC cadets to gays in the military is “significant,” since “the bulk of military officers come from” these institutions. But, the report concluded, “the study authors found that attitudes change over time. For example, male and female cadets interviewed back in 2002 were more opposed than those surveyed in 2007 by a margin of 9%: 59% [in 2002] compared to 50% [in 2007.]”

WASHINGTON, DC – GOP presidential hopeful Texas Governor Rick Perry suggested to ABC News that he would reinstate “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” Perry made his statement to ABC’s Christine Amanpour and said he promised to speak to military commanders about the policy if he’ s elected pre

sident.

“I think ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ worked very well,” Perry responded, ignoring the thousands of service members dismissed from the military because of their sexual orientation. “I think the President of the United States changing a policy that was working well and to do it while we were at war in two different theaters, I think was irresponsible and I think he truly did it to respond to his political base,” Perry said.

The Elephant in the room is still there, sitting quietly in its corner, just waiting to be brought up. Trouble is, maybe someone will throw it a peanut now and again, but no one really wants to approach it. The Elephant of which I speak is, of course, HIV/AIDS.

The funny thing is that no matter how many of us throw peanuts at the poor thing, it just keeps getting bigger and bigger and still no one seems to notice. How do we miss such an obvious animal? Because we’ve been avoiding it for so very long now and we’ve gotten used to it just sitting there quietly … always quietly as not to disrupt our blissfully ignorant little lives.

As I said in my last installment, AIDS is a four-letter word, but it has become a more acceptable, less gloom-filled four letter word than it once was. Having grown up in the 1980’s, I recall a time before it was even called HIV or AIDS. I remember something called GRID, which for those of you too young to remember or whom have just chosen to forget was an abbreviation for “Gay Related Immune Deficiency.” Between AIDS and GRID, I am forced to go with AIDS, at the very least, it doesn’t single out a specific group of people. Time went on, names changed, Doctor’s were still clueless and the media began to catch wind of this new “Gay Plague” that was spreading like wildfire.

Throughout the 80’s, a few beloved Hollywood as well as musical stars fell victim, rallying the likes of Elizabeth Taylor, Doris Day, and others to the cause. Lest I forget the relevance of young AIDS patient Ryan White, who lost his fight against the disease but who continues to live on through his foundation.

The point here is that although HIV was still a taboo subject not to be brought up in mixed company, it had “Star Power.” Sure, it was still going to kill you and, if you listened to all the religious groups, we deserved what we got. If it weren’t for Hollywood pouring money into the cause and all the brave souls trying to change the disease’s image from a “Gay Man’s” problem to a national crisis, we might still be living in the ignorance of the time. There is still a great deal of that ignorance with us today. Shameful as it is to admit, there is still a part of me that wishes I were oblivious to the fact that, inside my body, in my blood and wherever else it travels, there’s a virus wrecking havoc on whatever is still left of my immune system (which, from what the doctors tell me, isn’t very much).

Fast forward a bit to today. HIV/AIDS has taken a backburner to terrorism and the economy. The drug companies peddle their wares on television for all to see.

By Christian Alexander

Look! The new advertising! It’s so exciting! We’re not dying anymore … NO! We now (and I’m not exactly sure when this happened) have a “manageable illness!” Oh, the joy! They are showing it on television, so it MUST be true.  Forget the miserable (I despise referring to myself this way) “old timers.” There’s a pill just for you! Side effects? What side effects? The last advertisement I saw for one of these meds featured several attractive, well-built men climbing rocks, hang gliding, running marathons and the like.

While I’m sure this is within reach of many of the HIV population and I wish them the best of health from here to come, I have a big a big problem with this. Whereas in the 80’s, AIDS=DEATH, now they are promoting it as no big deal.

Take a pill or two and you’ll be out climbing Everest in no time. As, for “old timers,” who have been surviving with this longer than that cute, 21-year-old twinkie you saw the other day has been alive, it has a much different meaning.

We watch as the cute little twinkie discovers the bars and all they entail. Will he/she/un-decided know the risks they are taking? Will they care? Or, will they just be as oblivious as I once was and wait until it’s too late to get educated. They think no matter what happens, it won’t happen to THEM and even if it does, there’s a magic f… pill to take!

When you were told you were POZ back in the middle ages or further back into the dark ages, you were basically told you had a big expiration date on your forehead.

Well, I may be expired in a lot of ways, but not the one that counts. Nor do I intend to be – at least not until I get my Botox.
Until my next rant, take your vitamins and stay healthy!

Choi told Political that “Going back to the military will be a vindication. [I’m] going back because I fought to go back. The seriousness of our claims was not just political theater — it was really drawn from our lives.

I sacrificed so much so I could go back.”

Choi became a gay rights icon after the West Point grad told television host Rachel Maddow that he was gay back in March 2009. His resulting military discharge galvanized opposition to DADT which allowed for gay individuals to be removed from service. Choi’s activism led to trouble with the law, and he was later arrested for chaining himself to the White House fence during a protest.

Choi said that he had been unsure about whether he should re-enlist but eventually concluded that it was important to show the seriousness of his actions.

The airman, Randy Phillips, spoke with ABC News about coming out and his whole family now knows he’s gay.

“ It feels great.

It’s nice not having to look over your shoulder or worry about who you are talking to,” Phillips told ABC News. “I think everybody knows. I never thought I’d be so comfortable with it. It’s very supportive. Everybody’s been absolutely great.”

Phillips father told ABC News that he wasn’t thrilled that his son put the video clip on YouTube but repeated that he loved his son and always will.

At 12:01 a.m. on Tuesday, September 20, “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT) was no longer the law of the land in the United States allowing lesbians and gays to serve openly in the United States military.

Last ditch efforts by the Republican Party to detain the repeal of DADT due to “paper work problems” failed to stop the repeal of the act that the U.S. Congress passed,in a lame duck session last November. It was signed into law by President Obama immediately prior to their December recess.

President Obama issued a statement early Tuesday morning concerning the repeal of DADT:

“Today, the discriminatory law known as ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ is finally and formally repealed.

As of today, patriotic Americans in uniform will no longer have to lie about who they are in order to serve the country they love. As of today, our armed forces will no longer lose the extraordinary skills and combat experience of so many gay and lesbian service members. And today, as Commander in Chief, I want those who were discharged under this law to know that your country deeply values your service.

“I was proud to sign the Repeal Act into law last December because I knew that it would enhance our national security, increase our military readiness, and bring us closer to the principles of equality and fairness that define us as Americans. Today’s achievement is a tribute to all the patriots who fought and marched for change; to Members of Congress, from both parties, who voted for repeal; to our civilian and military leaders who ensured a smooth transition; and to the professionalism of our men and women in uniform who showed that they were ready to move forward together, as one team, to meet the missions we ask of them.

“For more than two centuries, we have worked to extend America’s promise to all our citizens.  Our armed forces have been both a mirror and a catalyst of that progress, and our troops, including gays and lesbians, have given their lives to defend the freedoms and liberties that we cherish as Americans.  Today, every American can be proud that we have taken another great step toward keeping our military the finest in the world and toward fulfilling our nation’s founding ideals.”

Immediately following the official repeal, several events happened in the United States:

Navy Lt. Gary Ross married his partner of 11 years, Dan Swezy, in Duxbury, Vermont, at the stroke of midnight just as the military’s ban on gays in the military was officially repealed. Vermont was chosen by the couple because it was in the eastern time zone and the couple would be able to recite their vows in front of family and friends at the first popular moment. The couple traveled to Vermont from their home in Arizona. Vermont was also the first state to allow gays to enter into civil unions and one of six that have legalized same-sex marriage.

For months, a faceless and nameless U.S. Air Force member stationed in Germany had been posting YouTube videos for months explaining what it was like living under DADT. At 2:45 a.m. in Germany, 7:45 CT, he produced a new video and posted it on YouTube, showing his face for the first time as he called his father in Alabama explaining he was gay. After telling his father of his sexuality, his father made it clear that he still loves him. “I called my dad to tell him the hardest thing that gay guys will ever have to say.” The serviceman still has not released his name but he goes by the YouTube identity of “AreYouSuprised?”

At midnight, HBO premiered a documentary, “The Strange History of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” The cable network described the show as a timely and historical look at gays and lesbians in the military that illustrates the tumultuous evolution of the controversial policy that fostered hate and intolerance within the military and undermined the very freedoms American military defend by forcing its soldiers to lie and live in secrecy.

The U.S. Military sent out a letter to all U.S. soldiers throughout the world formally announcing that DADT was over:

“Today marks the end of ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.’ The law is repealed. From this day forward, gay and lesbian soldiers may serve in our Army with the dignity and respect they deserve. Our rules, regulations and politics reflect the repeal guidance issued by the Department of Defense and will apply uniformly without regard to sexual orientation, which is a personal and private matter.

“For over 236 years, the U.S. Army has been an extraordinary force for good in the world. Our soldiers are the most agile, adaptable and capable warriors in history — and we are ready for this change…

“Accordingly, we expect all personnel to follow our values by implementing the repeal fully, fairly and in accordance with policy guidance. It is the duty of all personnel to treat each other with dignity and respect, while maintaining good order and discipline throughout our ranks. Doing so, will help the U.S. Army remain the Strength of the Nation.”

The military also immediately started accepting applications from lesbians and gays. Prior to lifting of DADT, the military spent months updating regulations. Lifting the ban also brought a halt to any and all on-going investigations and discharges that were pending under the old law.

Existing standards of personal conduct, such as those pertaining to public displays of affection, will continue regardless of sexual orientation. There will be no immediate changes to eligibility for military benefits. All service members are already entitled to certain benefits, such as designating a partner as a life insurance beneficiary or as a caregiver.

The Navy had proposed training chaplains to conduct same-sex civil union on bases located in states where same-sex marriage is permitted. After more than five-dozen lawmakers objected, however, the plan was shelved until the Pentagon completes a review of the issue.