Tonight I missed him. Not a particular “him,” but the presence of a him. It doesn’t happen very often as I am very good at occupying as many of the hours in a day as possible. Tonight, I watched a couple at a diner hold hands, secretly underneath the table, and later saw another couple looking at one another the way only two people in love do, and I missed that feeling.

The feeling of someone saying, “I’m yours,” or waking up in the middle of night and having a warm body next to me. Knowing that the only sound in the house will be the voice in my head, instead of his voice saying something that will make me laugh, is not pleasing.

I miss the feeling of a hand on the small of my back leading me into a room, or having the smallest detail of something about me remembered, like telling the waiter that I want extra dressing on my salad.

I never took for granted the special aspects of being with someone, but I know that many people do. To those people, I say “don’t.” Don’t undervalue the fact that someone has chosen to be with you and share his or her life with you. Don’t take lightly that someone has chosen your lips above all others to kiss every day. Don’t wait until they are gone to tell them that they are missed. Don’t assume that finding what you already have is easy to find. If you think that the person you are with is not perfect, then you are probably right. But then again, neither are you, and they have chosen to be with you despite your imperfections.

So often the attributes that sparked our initial interest in someone become the very things that we seek to change, because we do not want them to be attractive to anyone else. This is selfish and wrong. Why would you want them to be less than who they are? Why shouldn’t they be witty, outgoing, and fashionable? This is what made you want them in the first place, right?

Remember that they made a conscious decision that you were they person they wanted to be with, and that is what matters.

The people we love should be loved with great dignity, respect, and freedom. A caged animal is not a happy animal. It does not stay because it wants to, but because it has no choice. Choice is the key to everything. When something is an option, it is very easy to opt out.

I would rather be writing a letter about a person who is here than a column about the person who is not. I am happy about the moment tonight when I missed “him,” because it will make meeting him again all the more special. Now go and kiss “him.”

AJ Cross is a contributing writer and author of his column “Cross-Eyed”. He can be reached at AJCrossConsulting@gmail.com.

Photo: Some hot vampire on vampire action in HBO’s “True Blood”

With all the sensationalism surrounding vampirism today and in conjunction with the approaching Halloween holiday, I decided to delve into the world of the occult and learn more about the  subject. It seems that even with the glamour of shows such as “True Blood” or “Vampire Diaries,” there is a more medical and psychological reality to vampirism.

Dr. Stephen Caplan is considered to be one of the leading authorities on the subject of “vampirism” in the United States, and according to him there are approximately fifty living “Vamps” in the US today. If you take away immortality, crushed velvet shirts and the ability to transform into a bat, he says that the movies and television shows are not that far from reality. In almost every case study, the so-called Vampire did exhibit a physical need for human blood and in some cases that need would equal up to a pint of blood per week.

These subjects also had a physical intolerance to natural light and though they did not burst into flames while standing in the sun, they do wear hats and dark sunglasses to avoid the pain light causes to their sensitive pale skin and eyes.

Many of the Vamps he studied were able to successfully locate “donors,” who were people willing to donate their own blood during physical and predominantly sexual encounters. In only three cases did the Vamp puncture skin with their teeth and suck the blood out, In most cases, a sterile hypodermic needle was used to puncture the donor’s skin and the blood was drawn out medically. In the absence of donors, some Vamps would find other blood sources in animals such as rabbits. In every case, the blood snack had to be fresh, untainted and as close to 98 degrees temperature as possible.

There was a time within the Roman Catholic Church that “vampirism” was taken so seriously that there was a school for the occult.

One of the leading authorities for the church on the subject was Dom Augustin Calmet who was a French Benedictine monk. It was through his studies that we learned that most of the myths came from Europe in a region of Romania called Transylvania. This is why Bram Stoker, in 1897, decided to tell his story of Dracula which was set in Transylvania.

So, as you trick or treat this year and pass all the sexy people on the street wearing next to nothing, be wary of that mysterious stranger whispering to you in the alley. He or she may not be pretending, and you just might be getting your teeth into something you are not ready for.

Or should I say, someone may be getting their teeth into you.