Kecskemety, 60, graduated from Fort Lauderdale High School, and briefly attended Broward Community College. He first became well known to the gay community through his entertaining column in Scoop Magazine in the 1990’s, titled “Shut Up and Focus,” published by former Agenda advertising executive Brad Casey.

A longtime Poinsettia Height resident and Cleveland, Ohio, native, Kecskemety was aware of his terminal condition, yet continued to write for the Agenda until the end of March. “Even when he was no longer able to write, he faithfully attended every editorial staff meeting,” Agenda publisher Bobby Blair said, “and he remained on our masthead. He was a consummate professional and friend, and all of us at the Agenda extend our condolences to his close friend and caregiver Tim Yatteau.”

In a New Year’s piece in the January 7 issue of Agenda, Kecskemety wrote, “Each year, I write a feature in the last issue of the year for whatever publication I have worked for, getting New Year’s resolutions from people in the community, and though I would have liked to have gotten many more for last week’s issue of the Agenda than I did, I was too weak to continue. One person, who I asked for his resolution a week ago, turned the tables on me and asked me what my New Year’s resolution was. I simply replied, ‘2013.’

While Bob Kecskemety died before reaching his goal, his written words will forever continue to voice his message of tolerance and acceptance for all.

I was at most major community events. I lived in the gay community. I was out there photographing, videoing, writing and reporting on the community for the last 25 years for just about every gay publication in the area at one time or another.

I started feeling ill in the summer of 2010. I knew I was under a lot of stress especially after having helped plan the Stonewall Festival in Wilton Manors. This, following the very successful “Wicked Manors” the October before, the last year “The Drive” had been shut down to car traffic on Halloween.

By the time the end of 2010 rolled around, I was having every little symptom of being sick you can imagine, but none of them at the same time. Some days I would have the chills, some days I would be very tired, some days I would be light-headed, some days other little symptoms, or I would feel just fine. But the temperatures were colder than normal over the holidays, so I thought I was just fighting off the flu because everybody was coming down with something.

I attended New Year’s Eve festivities in the Shoppes of Wilton Manors with no problem but within a few days, all of the symptoms – plus many more – started to attack me all at once. So bad in fact, I was taken to the emergency room on January 10 and just in time since I collapsed while in the waiting room.

I was admitted and went through the normal pre-examination “vitals”: temperature was high, blood pressure was high. The nurse removed my shoes and stated, “oh my god.” I thought she was talking about foot odor but no, she pointed out that my feet were orange and very swollen. The next thing out of her mouth was “kidneys.” Emergency testing of my blood showed that indeed my kidneys had failed and the toxins had built up to critical levels. I met my first doctor who told me had I waited another 24 hours, I would have died. I went through quick surgery to make preparations for kidney dialysis.

I spent the next three weeks in the hospital as the doctors checked everything out. In addition to the kidney problems, they discovered bladder cancer. I was told not to be too concerned with the bladder at this time as it’s a very tough organ but they needed to rid my body of the toxins with dialysis and treatment first, then take care of the bladder. $233,000 dollars later, I went home, continued with dialysis three times a week and was scheduled to return to the hospital in April to remove the bladder. The doctor told me that, though it is rare, the kidneys have been known to come back to life to some degree in some cases, but warned me not to count on it.

At first, the dialysis was helping and, though I felt weak immediately after treatment, I was feeling much better. Then, I started feeling worse than ever before and started to lose weight fast – too fast – in fact, I lost 110 pounds in three months and my blood toxin levels started to go crazy and I was often feeling worse than ever. The doctors didn’t seem concerned, so neither was I.

When I returned to the hospital in April for the bladder removal, initial tests showed that my kidneys had started to function at a very limited basis. My left kidney was literally dead with only working at around 1% efficiency; my right kidney was now working at around 38% — enough to operate on their own. The reason I was feeling so bad was because both the kidney dialysis machine and my internal kidneys were fighting each other over control of my body. Though my kidneys were partially working, dialysis was no longer needed.

It was also decided that since the kidneys were working again, we should try to save the bladder and cure than cancer instead of just removing it right off. However, what was also discovered was that I also had bone cancer in my hip.

As the year progressed, I’ve been off dialysis and I’ve been going through chemotherapy for the cancers. This past October, scans, prods, probes and tests show that the bladder cancer is in remission, but the bone cancer has somewhat spread. Again, my oncologist has told me that there are different treatments for bone cancer that we haven’t tried yet. I am now going through the second regiment of chemo drugs which are rougher on my body.

Being cynical by nature, I’ve learned some important lessons this past year. First, I’ve learned to appreciate life and what life has to offer.

Things that I would normally stress over–and I can’t afford any stress, now–I’ve learned to brush off. Second, I’ve learned to take life slower, but then again, I really didn’t have much of a choice. Finally, I’ve realized what great friends I have and my huge support group.

There are those people that didn’t walk, but came running to my side as soon as I took ill like Brad Casey, Tim Yatteau, Ryan Dixon, Sheri Elfman, Dan Renzi and Robert Cieslak. There are also those who were able to give me great advice to follow concerning my mental and physical state like Terry DeCarlo, Paul Hyman, Peter Clark, and longtime friend Norm Kent. Florida Agenda publisher Bobby Blair never lost faith in me and, through it all, I never missed writing in a single issue of the newspaper and also accepted my new, limited physical abilities. (Learning to type on a laptop while lying in bed is a skill that everyone should acquire.) Then there are those that would regularly call or email to find out how I was doing like Nicky Rose, Pompano Bill, Shane Phoenix, Gary Resnick, Julie Carson, Dale Madison, Eric Reivik and there are dozens and dozens more that I just don’t have enough space to list.

And then, there are those that have purposely avoided contact me fearing the worse and perhaps fearing their own mortality. Recently I ran into Victor Cody who confessed to me that he has been afraid to see me not knowing how I would look and was surprised how much better looking I was then he thought and said how glad he was to see me again. For those of you who have avoided me not wanting to deal with reality of a person who was sick, don’t worry – I was one of you up to this year – I just couldn’t deal.

Then, there were the surprises. Shortly after this past Halloween on Wilton Drive, it was brought to my attention someone wrote on the local blog, “Wilton Drive Online,” about how disappointed they were over what has happened to the annual big event. Someone suggested that the person (which was me) who used to handle the party start doing it again. Someone else replied that the person who used to do Wicked Manors was named Bob – but he died. I, of course, replied myself saying that, though sick, I was still alive–all while laughing to myself about the situation. Then again, I laughed too at the appropriateness of a dead person running a Halloween party. Was I upset? No. In fact, I was flattered knowing that the community really appreciated the hard work put into large public events.

The other night, longtime friend Ellen Friedman, who has also had her health problems, took me out for a holiday dinner that I will forever remember. As we sat there talking, I told her that I didn’t realize how many people would have cared what happened to me and how many friends I really have. She said to me, which prompted this piece, “Bob, they’ve been there all along. You’ve just been too blind to see them.”

Though I am sick, I’m getting better slowly; sometimes painfully, but I’m not going anywhere. I wish I could go out more, but my body starts to wind down around two in the afternoon.

Each year, I write a feature in the last issue of the year for whatever publication I have worked for, getting New Year’s resolutions from people in the community, and though I would have like to have gotten many more for the last week’s issue of the Agenda than I did, I was too weak to continue.

One person, who I asked for his resolution a week ago, turned the tables on me and asked me what my New Year’s resolution was. I simply replied, “2013.”

Living with HIV can be challenging; discovering that you have cancer when you are HIV positive can be devastating. Henry Martinez, a resident of Wilton Manors for nearly fifteen years, has made it his mission to not only share his story and raise money for cancer research, but also to let the HIV positive community know that going through treatments in South Florida is not the best option.

After a visit to the University of California, San Francisco Helen Diller Family Comprehensive Cancer Center, Henry discovered that his doctors in South Florida were simply not equipped or prepared to treat someone with cancer who is also HIV positive. The South Florida doctors were too aggressive with surgical procedures, negligent in his recovery process, and recommending treatments that Henry would probably not survive, due to his suppressed immune system.

Unfortunately, the discovery that Henry had received sub-standard medical care was made a little too late. Henry has already undergone several surgeries, one of which has left him without an anus, just an opening that allows him to not be dependent on a colostomy bag. The recovery process for this aggressive surgery nearly killed him.

The surgery left Henry with a gaping wound approximately four to five inches long, two inches deep and two inches wide on each internal butt cheek. After Henry returned home, his dressings needed to be changed at least seven times a day due to bleeding.

However, when Henry was discharged from the hospital, they arranged for a nurse to come to change his dressing just once a day.

They also failed to provide him with dietary instructions and, as a direct result, Henry suffered from many complications and a lot of unnecessary pain.

The only reason Henry was able to survive through the home care process was because his long-time friends flew from San Francisco to help. The nurse showed his friends how to change his dressing.

The results of the surgery were disappointing, but Henry’s doctor seemed pleased that only 30% of the skin graft remained intact.

Henry’s oncologist recommended chemotherapy and radiation as soon as his wound healed a bit more, and his doctors installed a port in his chest in preparation for treatment.

Prior to the chemotherapy and radiation, Henry flew home

to San Francisco where his sister arranged for him to meet with doctors at the UCSF Helen Diller Cancer Center. Upon review of his medical history, and physical examination, the doctor stated that chemotherapy and radiation would be too dangerous for Henry, given his HIV and current condition. The doctor recommended an additional procedure to widen the margins and laser the affected areas, as it was clear the last procedure in Florida was insufficient.

All those that know Henry appreciate his enthusiastic and child-like personality. Henry has worked as a hair stylist, dog-walker & dog-sitter, and has always had a creative flair. Henry has a difficult journey ahead of him, but is prepared to continue fighting the cancer.

Henry also wants to prevent others from suffering through the poor medical care he was given and is sharing his story so that others can be spared the pain he went through. He is hosting a fundraising event for the UCSF Cancer Center on Sunday, October 23rd at 7 p.m. at the Manor to raise both awareness about this issue and encourage others in the same situation to explore medical options outside South Florida.

For more information, please call 954-817-6600.

NEW YORK, NY – Owners of the popular Boxers gay sports bar located in the Chelsea section of New York City had planned to open a second location in Hell’s Kitchen; however, the neighbors in that new location say that the bar would be too close to a school and playground.

According to the New York Post, the Hell’s Kitchen site is right around the corner from Sacred Heart School and next to the playground of PS 111. Protesters are saying the problem is not that Boxers would be a gay bar, just that it’s a bar in general. The building that Boxers wants to locate to would be within 200 feet of Sacred Heart, which is too close under zoning laws. But the owners of the building want to subdivide the site so that the bar itself sits just outside the mandated limit.

“Daddy Bear” Competes  in “Survivor”

NEW YORK, NY – Mark-Anthony Caruso, a 48-year-old gay retired NYPD detective and self-described “daddy bear,” has been announced as a cast member of the upcoming “Survivor: South Pacific”.

Caruso’s “Survivor” profile on CBS.com:
‘”I call myself Daddy Bear,” says the openly gay former NYPD morgue detective. ‘“I’m older, wiser, and cuter, I guess. No, I’m kidding. I’m not cuter.’” One thing he’s not kidding about, however, is which two former players he’d like to see return this season. ‘”I would like to see Jane. And I know people may not like hearing this, but I like Russell. I do! I just like him! I worked in the New York City police department for 20 years. There’s a thousand Russells!”

Rick Perry Signs Anti-Same-Sex Marriage Pledge

WASHINGTON, D.C. – G.O.P. presidential hopeful Rick Perry has joined Mitt Romney, Michele Bachmann, Rick Santorum and former candidate Tim Pawlenty in signing the National Organization for Marriage’s anti-gay marriage pledge.

By signing the pledge, the candidates promise to:

“Support and send to the states a federal marriage amendment defining marriage as one man and one woman; defend DOMA in court; appoint judges and an attorney general who will respect the original meaning of the Constitution; appoint a presidential commission to investigate harassment of traditional marriage supporters; support legislation that would return to the people of D.C. their right to vote for marriage.”

California State G.O.P.  Will Permit Openly Gay Candidate to Speak at Their Convention

LOS ANGELES, CA – After originally denying him permission to speak, the Republican Party has changed their mind and will permit openly gay presidential candidate Fred Karger to speak at their upcoming state convention, scheduled to take place September 16 through 18.

According to the San Francisco Chronicle, the party had originally given Karger what he called the “cold shoulder” in his attempts to speak at the convention. However, when the Chronicle reported the story, the party extended an invitation.

Karger said that Republican officials offered him a chance to speak and introduce himself to G.O.P. delegates at a Saturday pre-luncheon event and other gatherings during the party’s upcoming weekend.

Crack in Washington Monument was a “Sign from God”

WASHINGTON, D.C. – After last week’s earthquake in Washington D.C., Reverend Pat Robertson proclaimed that the damage done to the Washington Monument was a sign from God.

Robertson made his statement during the 700 Club’s “The Sign of the Times” series on the end of the world. The earthquake, which caused a four-foot crack in the monument, claimed that it was a sign from God because of sin, legal abortion and the country’s tolerance of homosexuality. He then said that America will receive the same lethal punishment as Sodom and Gomorrah, and that the crack was just a symbolic message of more to come if the country didn’t change its ways soon.

Cyndi Lauper Shows  Her “True Colors”

NEW YORK, NY – Cindy Lauper is opening housing for LGBT youth. The opening is scheduled for September 1 and is going to be called The True Colors Residence. Lauper explained that New York City has a very disproportionate number of homeless youth who identify as LGBT. She said that even more disturbing are reports that these young people often face discrimination and, at times, physical assault in some of the very places they have to go to for help.

The idea behind the 30-bed facility, which is on West 154th Street near Frederick Douglass Boulevard in  the Harlem area, was conceived by Lauper, her manager and the West End Intergenerational Residence, a non-profit group that provides housing and support for homeless families and seniors.

The True Colors Residence will be the first permanent housing facility in New York for homeless LGBT youth.

Perry Equates Homosexuality to Alcoholism

NEW YORK, NY – Time Magazine has reported that in Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry’s first book, “On My Honor,” Perry equates homosexuality to alcoholism.

“Even if an alcoholic is powerless over alcohol once it enters his body, he still makes a choice to drink,” he wrote. “And, even if someone is attracted to a person of the same sex, he or she still makes a choice to engage in sexual activity with someone of the same gender.”

Perry also wrote that he is “no expert on the ‘nature versus nurture’ debate,” but that gays should simply choose abstinence.

Perry’s campaign did not respond to a request for comment on whether he maintains this view, but the candidate has either reversed his stance or refused to comment on several other issues he wrote about in his book.

Lady Gaga Declared More Powerful than Oprah

NEW YORK, NY – Forbes Magazine has released their list of the world’s most powerful women, and Lady Gaga has beaten Oprah Winfrey. German Chancellor Angela Merkel topped this list, followed by U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. First Lady Michele Obama came in at #8, Lady Gaga ranked #11 and Oprah Winfrey came in at #14.

State Representative Admits Giving a Teen Boy Money for an Encounter

INDIANAPOLIS, IN – Indian State Representative Phil Hinkle admitted last week that he paid a young man $80 to have a good time, but insisted he isn’t gay and doesn’t know why he did it.

According to the Indianapolis Star, Hinkle has been stripped of his committee chairmanships and, despite pressure from the Speaker of House to resign, he will not do so. But he also said that he will not seek re-election.
Hinkle maintains that he did nothing illegal, there was no sex involved and that he himself was a victim of a crime, but would not file a police report.

NOM Links Homosexuality to Pedophilia

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Twice last week, the National Organization for Marriage (NOM) claimed there was a link between pedophilia and homosexuality. According to Equality Matters, NOM posted on their blog that the effort to normalize pedophilia is following the same pattern as the effort to normalize and legalize same-sex marriages.

Elmhurst College Asks Prospective Students About their Sexual Orientation

CHICAGO, IL – The newest version of the application to become a student at Elmhurst College asks students if they consider themselves a member of the LGBT community. That question made Elmhurst the first college or university to ask a potential student about their sexual orientation.
According to the Chicago Sun Times, officials of the college said that the question is in a group of questions asking about race and religion and is completely optional and is not taken into consideration on accepting or rejecting the new students. The college said that the purpose of the question was intended to increase diversity among their student body.

Ecstasy Could Be  Used to Cure Cancer

BIRMINGHAM, ENGLAND – The Daily Telegraph reported that researchers from Birmingham University claim that the designer drug Ecstasy may one day be used as a cure for cancer after scientists modify the drug to increase its tumor-killing properties. The drug, also known as MDMA, could be used to treat leukemia, lymphoma and myeloma after making it 100 times more effective at suppressing growth.

Ecstasy was already known to be effective against more than half of white blood cell cancers, but previously the large dose required to treat a tumor would also have killed the patient.

HRC President to Resign in 2012

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The co-chairs of the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) Board of Directors and the HRC Foundation Board announced that HRC President Joe Solmonese has informed the boards he will not renew his contract, which expires March 31, 2012.

Solmonese will remain at the helm of the organization until the completion of his contract to ensure a smooth leadership transition.

At the same time, the co-chairs announced the formation of a search committee to be co-chaired by board members Joni Madison of Hillsborough, N.C., and Dana Perlman of Los Angeles.

“Joe Solmonese is an outstanding leader,” said Anne Fay, who co-chairs the Foundation Board of Directors with Andy Linsky. “While we will miss his extraordinary leadership, we enter this next phase, thanks to Joe, in the best place the organization has ever been. Not only has our community secured historic victories, but our membership is larger and more active than at any time in our history, and our financial health is secure even in these difficult economic times.”

“From the repeal of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,’ to the recent passage of marriage equality in New York, Joe has made sure that HRC is an effective and strategic force for positive change,” said Tim Downing, who co-chairs the HRC Board of Directors with Rebecca Tillet.

“Over the course of his tenure, he’s set the tone for delivering real reform that matters in peoples’ everyday lives.”

“Leading HRC has been an inspiring experience and a complete privilege,” said Solmonese. “I could not be more proud of our staff, our volunteer leadership and of the extraordinary progress we’ve made together as a community.”

Solmonese’s leadership has taken the organization from 750,000 members and supporters to more than 1,000,000. Additionally, he oversaw significant expansion of HRC’s public education and outreach programs, including the launch of the Healthcare Equality index, a more robust Religion and Faith Program and wider reach and success of the Corporate Equality Index. The HRC Foundation also launched the Welcoming Schools program to address family diversity, gender stereotyping, bullying and name calling in schools, as well as the All Children All Families initiative that helps open up adoption agencies to prospective LGBT parents. The grassroots field operation also expanded – most recently mounting the largest state-level campaign in LGBT movement history resulting in the passage of marriage equality in New York.

Gay Days Las Vegas

LAS VEGAS, NV – Next year, Las Vegas will host the first Gay Days Las Vegas, September 4-10, 2012. As in Gay Days Orlando, the Las Vegas event will include a Travel-Retail Expo, pool parties and events all around town with a portion of proceeds benefiting local non-profit organizations.

Gay Days co-owner, Chris Alexander-Manley, President of Gay Days, Inc., said, “We’re proud to announce our 2012 schedule which includes Las Vegas. This event will now allow our loyal attendees vacation options that include the two largest vacation destinations in the country. After twenty-one years hosting one of the largest GLBT vacation events in the world, Gay Days Orlando, we feel we have grown up, and Las Vegas is the perfect city for adults.”

Gay Days Orlando, the first weekend in June each year, attracts over 150,000 from around the world to the central Florida area, and the event generates over $600 million in economic benefits. Gay Days Las Vegas will always start the day after
Labor Day each year, and run through the following Monday. Organizers believe the Las Vegas Gay Days will grow to be as large or larger than the Orlando Gay Days.

The Gay Groupon

WEST BLOOMFIELD, MI – A new daily deals site catering to the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender (LBGT) and allied communities has just launched, and it’s called Gaypon. The site provides its subscribers with daily offers from local and regional businesses – but only those businesses known to be gay-friendly.

In addition, Gaypon says a portion of its proceeds will be donated to local and national LGBT organizations and charities.
Gaypon was founded by Robert Graham, formerly of Clear Channel Radio, and Jason Buszta. It’s based in West Bloomfield, Michigan, which is where the majority of

the deals are now located. Check it out at www.dailygaypon.com.

Relay For Life also raises funds for the American Cancer Society’s programs of research, education, advocacy and service – programs that can reduce cancer deaths and cancer incidence, and improve the quality of life for those touched by cancer.

Relay for Life will be held at Northeast High School on Friday and Saturday, May 20 and 21 with opening ceremony on Friday at 6 p.m.

For more information, contact Victoria Motola at (954) 200-7522.

It seems week after week we read about one three letter acronym after another that can affect our health, but here’s
one you may now be as familiar with – HPV (human papillomavirus). For gay and bisexual men, it can be a secret killer. There are 6.2 millions cases in the U.S each year and over one hundred strains of the virus, forty of which are transmitted sexually. In previous years there have been studies linking HPV to cervical cancer, which encouraged the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) to approve a vaccine for women. Recently, the FDA has also approved a vaccine for young males (9-26). But now there is talk about protecting the rest of our population, seeing as studies have linked HPV to genital infections – as well as some forms of cancers.

The virus in men can typically go undetected and untreated for a lifetime, or until more severe infections and diseases develop. In some cases the virus can develop into genital warts, in areas of the penis, testicles, groin, thigh and anus. These cauliflower like warts tend not to be painful and disappear shortly after they appear, creating a misguided sense of recovery. Genital warts affect about one percent of sexually active men. And although symptoms may disappear or the warts can be treated and removed, they can always reappear – making treatment a life-long process. However, you may have bigger problems than warts to deal with in the long run.

Gay and bisexual men are 17% more likely to develop anal cancer. In addition, HPV increases those risks, especially for individuals with weakened immune systems, such as men with HIV. Individuals with anal cancer can experience bleeding, pain, itching or discharge. Other symptoms include swelling of the lymph nodes in the groin and anus area. Penile cancer is also a risk factor linked to HPV. In the early stages, individuals might notice discoloration, toughing skin texture and build up of tissue on the penis. This could be followed by painful sores and bleeding; however, in some cases there may be no symptoms until the cancer has advanced.

Fortunately, science has kept up with times. Unfortunately, insurance companies still have some catching up to do. The FDA has approved the vaccine for young women and men, primarily focusing on the pre-sexually active population. One reason for the age restriction is the belief that nearly half of sexually active people already have acquired an HPV infection; which is why some older individuals (anyone over 26) might find it more difficult to cover the $375.00 cost of the vaccine. That hasn’t seemed to stop some doctors from encouraging clients to get vaccinated; arguing it can’t hurt – and it’ s a lot cheaper than the co

st of battling cancer.

Sam Knew, MSW is an educator and a local counselor. He can be reached at samknewmsw@gmail.com