Florida Agenda

By ALEX VAUGHN

We have all been out on a Thursday night: the Drive comes alive, it’s almost the weekend, and it’s time to let your hair down. You pull into the vast parking lot and rush in to meet your friends. You have a couple of drinks, socialize, and when you look out over the car park and see all the guys around, you can’t help but think “wow, how lucky am I to live in–or at the very least visit–Greater Fort Lauderdale and to have somewhere like The Shoppes of Wilton Manors to use as a base!” Well, yes you are, if you aren’t towed.

The signs are posted: the parking spaces in The Shoppes are reserved for patrons of the businesses. A bit extreme, as it is the center of Wilton Manors life, but ok, fair enough. Many of the establishments on and off the Drive have their own reserved- for-valet parking spaces. The signs are clear: you can’t leave your car unattended unless you are patronizing one of the businesses. What they don’t tell you is if you break the rules, you will be sent somewhere in which you could be killed.

You can imagine my utter shock to find that after a great evening catching up with friends, our car had been towed. There was no help or explanation offered, other than to “call the number on the sign,” which we did. Although told over the phone that we needed to pay to pick it up, at no point was it mentioned that they only accept cash- -do most people routinely walk around with over $100 in cash on them?

I know it sounds awfully dramatic, but if you get towed, say “goodbye” to the safety of Wilton Manors, to the ability to be yourself, and to feel safe and secure. In fact, say “hello” to the worst district in Fort Lauderdale, the area around 1800 West Sunrise Blvd., which is where your car will be towed. West Sunrise Blvd. is notorious for a few things: it is where a spring breaker last month was beaten to within an inch of his life for possession of his laptop; it also, as of last month, has the area’s highest rate of homicides; and it is where I found myself last Thursday night.

We took a cab to the tow yard, and immediately knew we were in the wrong neighborhood. Since there was no ATM nearby, we walked through what I can only describe as a frightening, dangerous area to a gas station where we got cash.

On our walk back–nervous, frightened and trying to be as aware as possible–a mugger snatched my partner’s $2,000 gold chain from his neck. The police officer who took our report was very clear that no one should ever be in that area at night, under any circumstances. We learned that the hard way.

I couldn’t agree more with parking rules: you park only where you visit. But if you break that rule, should you be forced to take your life into your hands? Many would argue to go during the day to pick up your car if it’s towed, but it was implied to us they would impose extra charges for holding it overnight.

For gay men, one benefit of living in or visiting Wilton Manors is the element of safety: the towing policy violates that.

There is an empty lot behind The Shoppes with some 30-odd spaces: would it not make more sense to tow the cars back there, and simply raise the towing fee?

There would be people who argue the fee will be too high, but right now the fee could end up costing you your life. Attention has been called to the towing policy before, but having experienced firsthand the unbridled danger of what it means to be towed action must now be taken—before someone in the community gets hurt or killed.

Alex Vaughn is the former Editor-in- Chief of the Florida Agenda.

Editor’s Note: At press time, Rivercrest Realty Investors, the owners of The Shoppes of Wilton Manors, have stopped utilizing the services of EMS Towing.

Alex Vaughn

Mark Lowe of Living Room fame brings a hot new concept to Miami. His newest club venture will bring you from the street into a house. The working art project is in full swing and will open its doors to welcome you home soon. The Florida Agenda sat down with the visionary to find out a little more.

How long have you been here? What brought you to South Florida?
I’ve been in South Florida 12 years. I originally came when I was younger as a model for a photo shoot, loved it, and came back.

You are credited with turning Living Room into one of the hottest nightclubs in town. What is prompting you to go into a new venue?
I’m a person who constantly needs to challenge myself artistically and creatively. Without struggle, there’s no growth. Art needs to constantly evolve. My plan was always to carry this concept around the world.

Please tell Florida Agenda readers about what to expect from HOUSE.
HOUSE is really a complete evolution for me. I’ve designed 13 nightclubs, and all had something that made them unique. Living Room was the beginning of the club as a home idea. HOUSE is a fully realized concept.

What niche did you feel was missing in Miami?
I think Miami is such a global city for nightlife. When you think of exciting nightclubs, you think of Miami. That said, the most visually spectacular clubs tend to be geared toward the straight market, LIV, LOUIS at the Gansevoort, Amnesia, etc. The gay community has great options that have done very well like SCORE, TWIST, and Mova. I have great respect for these venues, especially when you consider they operate seven days a week in a very tough economy. I want to bring the most beautiful nightclub in Miami to our community.

What advantages do you feel there are having a business within the gay community?
The gay community has been very loyal to me long before Living Room. When I decided to open a nightclub, it was important for me to promote and build a following, I did that for three years. Those people have continued to follow me, and they are solely responsible for any amount of success I’ve had.

What disadvantages do you feel there are?
Absolutely none. If even the most homophobic and judgmental person meets you and connects to you personally, sexuality is irrelevant.

How would you identify your management approach? Iron Fist or more Flexible?
I’m very much a perfectionist and can be demanding. I expect a lot, and give a lot. If a light isn’t perfect, it can destroy my entire night. The positive thing with HOUSE is I have a really good team. I’m working with a great partner Sebastian Aaron-Stigall, who has a strong management and operations background. I’m working with a phenomenal visual artist Stefan Von Fouts, and an entire production company. This really enables me to focus on what I’m good at with no distractions.

How do you think the community as a whole will respond to HOUSE? What type of people do you envisage coming?
I think the community will respond to the fact that it’s a truly creative space. The visuals and details don’t exist anywhere in the world. From 3D architectural mapping, 360-degree panoramic projections, kitchens as bars, and showers as VIP rooms, HOUSE is genuinely more of a work of art than a nightclub. I wanted the first club in the Wynwood Arts District to be a groundbreaking space and experience.

In your lifetime, how do you feel the gay community has changed?
I think we went through our periods where everyone was trying to look straight wearing Abercrombie etc. I love the new kids coming up expressing themselves creatively. Their blurring the lines between femininity and masculinity and their “don’t give a f***” attitude is amazing. Lady Gaga has been a huge influence on their creativity.

Do you see a positive change in attitudes towards the gay community?
I refuse to see anything less. We are all human, we bleed, we die. People have no choice but to accept the fact that we are here. We are your attorneys, your doctors, your military, and your neighbor next door.

Living Room is very much an open venue for gay and straight people.

Will HOUSE follow the same model?

Absolutely, I create clubs that are welcome to everybody who wants to escape from the stresses of life. The best parties are mixed, with all the colors of the rainbow.

Why did you not position Living Room as a total gay club?
I’m a business person who happens to be gay. My sexuality is a small part of who I am, and doesn’t define me. Any decision I make is based on what’s best for business regardless of race, gender, or sexuality. If Martians came down from Mars and want a Martian party and it is successful, I’m having a Martian-o- Rama.

What other plans do you have for the future?
Washington, DC, San Diego, Austin, Texas, Peru and Brazil; I want to spread like a porn stars’ cheeks!

If you had an open check book, what business would you go into next?
Who says I don’t? Exactly what I’m doing now!

 

Living Room is located at 300 SW 1st Avenue at the Las Olas Riverfront in Fort Lauderdale. Their website is www.livingroomnightclub.com.

Stay Tuned! HOUSE will be unveiled  in the Wynwood Arts District of Miami in the Winter of 2011.
Sign up for a Housewarming Party invite by going to the website at www.housenightclub.com

The Red Ribbon is synonymous with HIV/AIDS and World AIDS Day. In honor of this, we have found the hottest products in the hue that shows solidarity with those living with HIV/AIDS.

Each year on December 1, people all over the world come out to share their stories of loss, love, and triumph, as we remember those who have passed with candlelight vigils, and celebrate life for those who are living with this disease.

Many of us will be wearing red ribbons, but we can further enhance our style statement with these red hot products.
Be bold in your sartorial choices and your support and commitment to finding a cure.

Alex Vaughn

No, five grand per month is not what I earn. Nor is it, as some claim, what I outlay monthly on my grooming or clothing. Five thousand dollars a month is what someone could expect to pay for HIV medication in Broward County.

If you don’t have insurance that is the minimum it would cost you for the crucial medications that would keep you alive. If you have insurance, it’s a different story. Otherwise, five grand is your bottom line – not including doctor’s visits or anything other than the pills themselves.

Since many people here in Florida don’t have medical coverage, and state AIDS programs are completely underfunded, then you are pretty much screwed.

In this economy, you would be very lucky to be pulling in $5,000 per month. Would it be possible for anyone to expect someone to spend their entire paycheck solely on meds without even taking into account basic living expenses?

Well the answer is yes. Yes, it is very possible to expect because, as with every healthcare system all over the world, it is flawed. If you earn below a certain amount, you can be eligible for a program that will cover your meds. However, once you exceed that cap, you will be dropped. So realistically without insurance, if you exceed the cap, the only way to do it and to pay for your meds would be to pull in the salary of a banker.

Why does this happen? Well partly due to the fact the state can’t pay for everyone’s meds who don’t have insurance. The money simply isn’t there.

The bigger question, however, is how can the drug companies justify the expense, when countries all over the world including the UK offer HIV meds for free? Well that in itself is an explanation. The US HIV positive individuals are largely contributing to the funding for the drugs for all over the world!

As World AIDS day arrives, we can look back over 30 years of a disease that has changed the face of the globe and put the gay community’s progress back immeasurably. The question everyone asks is why has a cure not been found? Why is there still no complete vaccine?

We hear every so often in the news about “being close to a cure,” about vaccines,  and about new ways of using drugs to prevent infection in the first place including the use of Truvada. Yet realistically, there seems to be a major stick when it comes to the cure.

Many argue this is because the drug companies don’t want to find a cure. They are making far too much money off the drugs they offer currently. In addition as highlighted by Christian Alexander in the Florida Agenda a few weeks ago, they are no longer focused on producing new medications. Instead, they are recombining and configuring older medications to ensure that patents exist and that generics can’t be offered at a lower cost in their place.

From an outsider to the pharmaceutical industry, as many of us are, it seems the companies are so busy redesigning the drugs that they have lost sight of the aim of drugs in the first place; to help keep people alive.

The worrying part of this perceived loss of focus is found in those for whom the new combinations haven’t worked . Their only hope now is a miracle. These people are not responding to the old drugs in new packaging, just as they didn’t respond the regime in its old format. They are asking the question we all should be asking–where are the new meds?

Many people are still arguing that the medical research community has all but abandoned the search for a cure, saying that a vaccine and treatment are more viable routes to take because many people are able to survive due to antiviral drugs, turning HIV into a chronic condition rather than a death sentence.

In the news this week alone, there has been talk of a cure. The information comes from a man who had treatment for leukemia and through an intense bone marrow procedure, now tests as HIV negative. Though promising, this type of treatment is not logistically possible as a cure. In addition, it is extremely risky.

The reason it was successful is because the donor was in the 1% of people who are naturally immune to HIV. Scientists have noted that these special donors lack the CCR5 gene, which is a protein on the surface of immune cells that the virus uses as an entry portal.

This has led scientists to explore this further, yet they are clear to say it could be years, if ever, that a cure is found. All of which leads us back to the question of why? With so much information, generated by the discoveries gathered over 30 years, shouldn’t there be a clearer goal of an AIDS-free generation in sight?

Finance is always key. According the New York Times just this week, The National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases says a cure is one of its top priorities, this year awarding grants that could total $70 million. More grants are coming. California’s stem-cell agency has committed a total of $38 million to three research teams over five years to fund projects intended to find a cure.

Companies like Merck, Gilead Sciences, Sangamo BioSciences and Calimmune have begun research.

As we observe World Aids Day, we have to remember those lost, and stand united in finding a cure. Donate money, talk to your doctors and do your research. Remember the one pill-a-day myth may not apply to you and, even if it does, you may need $5,000 a month to pay for it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Alex Vaughn is the Editor-in-Chief of the Florida Agenda. He can be reached at editor@FloridaAgenda.com

Alex Vaughn

A white picket fence has long been the symbol of the “American Dream.” The iconic image has always been seen as a symbol of home ownership, success, achievement and pure happiness. We all know what makes up the lifestyle that plays out behind that perfect picket facade. The perfect parents – the gainfully employed dad and the Suzie homemaker mom; the boy who plays football and the girl who is on the honor roll; school runs and soccer practice; the cat, the dog and the station wagon – symbols all of unabashed upper-middle class perfection and achievement.

This image has been seen as largely unattainable for the gay community, who couldn’t marry or adopt or felt there was a glass ceiling in their job because they didn’t have a wife or a husband to complement the family ethos of a company. Yet, the fight for equality shows us that this is the dream of many gay men and women; everyone wants success, and many want a family.

Fortunately, times have changed. Now more than ever before, this ideal lifestyle is not only a possibility, but also a reality for many gay couples right here in South Florida. Gay people can aspire to such a dream as a symbol of equality and acceptance in addition to the core values seen in achieving a picket-fence lifestyle.
Yet as the community continues to take steps towards equal rights, rights to adopt, to marry and so forth, can the white picket fence model work for the gay community?

In the 50s, the pop art image of a family in perfect suburbia was sold through everything from Coca-Cola to laundry detergent.

Yet it didn’t show what happened behind closed doors. Without question as the nation became more open minded, so too did attitudes. As a result, people began to realize that behind the façade of a white picket fence, there were all-too-often big deep-seated issues. Infidelity, abuse, financial strain from keeping up with the Joneses – you name it, all playing out behind closed doors.

As our community moves towards the perceived ideal, how much of it can be translated to a gay couple

? Die-hards would argue all of it. I say you can’t put a square peg in a round hole.

First, I think people need to realize is there is a reason why the white picket fence lifestyle is called a dream; very few people live that life anymore, or probably never did. Divorce is acceptable, the economy has changed and so too have demographics.

It is becoming more acceptable for women to not want to have children, while more couples are making up their own rules as they go. Gay people have to do the same. As more and more laws and policies slowly come down, the reality is gay couples have more freedom to make their own rules as well.

People – gay, straight or otherwise – need to know that to make it work inside that perfect home as well as it does on the outside, you have to be realistic. Equal rights are one thing, but the dynamics of gay relationships are different from straight ones. I know people don’t like to hear that, but it is ridiculous to suggest otherwise. Two men or two women together have a totally different dynamic from a man and woman.

As the rights are granted, people need to tailor their dreams. They can still have children and a station wagon and the house and the fence, but to make a relationship work, you need to be sensitive to the differences your relationship has. I am reminded of the remake of “Stepford Wives.” Having the gay characters really brought the movie up to date. Yet having the more flamboyant of the couple seen as the wife, just shows the stereotype. As the film suggests that should be exactly as he is perceived – the perfect “woman” of the relationship. Yet, in the movie, becoming a Stepford wife doesn’t turn him into a woman, or a homemaker, but into a republican political power house in a navy suit.

When you look at this, you can see that society in the “perfect” picket fence world wouldn’t accept him as a wife, a stay at home, look after the house and kids figure, but only as a man’s man. This is extremely interesting to me. In the original film, the women were turned into the 50s housewife models and that’s the premise of the story. Yet, in the updated version, the gay couple they couldn’t let him remain effeminate and flamboyant. He had to be turned into the perfect husband.

This is the reality that many gay couples will face when setting up their perfect homes in little communities, so what can they do? Simple. Make your own rules. It’s not a gay/straight thing; it’s a simple reality of today’s society. Couples have to make their own rules up to stay together.

I strongly believe that to even get close to that ideal you have to know yourself, how much of that world do you want to be partof. Sure there are always jokes that one partner is the wife and the other husband, but can that really translate in your relationship? If you do have kids, is it safe or acceptable to have them in a community of faux perfection or better to raise them in the more open big cities? Where will you be accepted? Where will your kids be accepted? These are the more pertinent questions, and I am not saying that people don’t think of them, all I am saying is that don’t be fooled by a lifestyle that isn’t real, or you may find yourself a desperate housewife.

Remember a fence is just a fence. It is your life. Paint it whatever color you want. Just make sure it matches your true lifestyle or it will become a prison.

 

 

 

 

 

Alex Vaughn is the Editor-in-Chief of the Florida Agenda. He can be reached at editor@FloridaAgenda.com

ALEX VAUGHN

The holiday season is upon us, the Christmas music has already made it into the stores and everyone is starting to get swept up in the excitement/panic that is the holidays. As Thanksgiving approaches, people are beginning to prepare. Have you? What will you be doing?

The holidays, however, for a lot of gay people are not a time for rejoicing or for fun, but for sadness and loneliness. There are many people who have lost touch with their family, or who don’t feel they can be themselves with them, especially during religious occasions, so they opt out. This creates a downer for the few days, an encompassing sense of loneliness, and worse, a questioning of whether being themselves was really worth it?

Many gay people have created a different type of family unit that is comprised of friends, and all year round they aren’t lonely, they have people around and they don’t miss their family.  They develop routines and fill their lives with the love and support they couldn’t get from their biological families. The holidays have the ability to upset this happy bubble and create a great deal of stress.

Unfortunately around this time of year, on the key days, Thanksgiving, Christmas Day, New Years Day, a lot of gay people lose many people in their circle as they leave to go somewhere else to spend time with their families (however unwilling they may be), leaving others left behind.

The main factor affecting the majority of the community during the holidays is stress. Your heightened stress can, and often does, come from every angle.  Work, family, finances, social pressures all contribute and as everyone, gay or otherwise, tends to get stressed during the holidays. Under the jolly spirit, there is a simmering volcano that could erupt at any moment.

At work, as the year draws to a close, targets have to be hit, days off and holidays are all required to coincide–ultimately leaving one person stuck at the office, whilst everyone else is off celebrating. I have even heard of companies suggesting that as the gay man doesn’t have a wife and kids that there “family time” is not as important, feeling that you can see your friends at any time. In this case, don’t be stressed, be strong. You have a family to see at Thanksgiving and that’s that.

If you aren’t out at work, the office parties could be your stressor. They can be an extremely daunting occasion. This forced fun with co-workers can almost always be guaranteed to evoke fear and dread, particularly if you are subject to rumors or the advances of the dappy secretary. And what of the fear that you might get so drunk that you impulsively declare your love for your boss! That paranoia and anxiety goes triple for family gatherings. You go home to wherever and while your sister and her two kids are the joy of the party, you are sitting out of the loop wishing you had stayed home, whilst fending off questions from your Aunt Miriam about when you will settle down with the right girl (or boy)!

If you are out to your family, that is great. Yet as I have heard so many people say recently, “I’m not going home, my step-father is a bible-basher/homophobe/bigot.” Or the excuse, “I would go home, but I can’t be myself and I know my life choices irritate my family.

I’m better off staying away.”   My very favorite is, “my brother is a homophobic oaf, who thinks being gay is dumb!” If that is how you feel, minimize the stress and don’t go!

Even if you don’t go, there is the financial aspect of the holidays. Without question, holidays cost money, be it for the Thanksgiving dinner, the Black Friday extravaganza or the gifts for Christmas.  The trick to combating this is to be realistic about what you can afford. Don’t be running to buy your friend a watch to show how much money you have, if you are paying it off for the next year, you may not even be friends with him or her when you are done! Also be realistic about why you are buying gifts and what you want to say. At this time of year, and in this economy, the thought really will count. As long as your gift says “I’m thankful for you and I love you,” trust me, that doesn’t have to come from a Bal Harbour Store!

Plan your budget, be real about who you get gifts for and why.

Being real and realistic during this season, is not only important in terms of “being yourself,” but also in terms of the reality of the situation. This is not your life. It is simply a few days out of it.

Social pressure to be festive and bright, thankful, cheery etc., when you just don’t feel it, also stresses you out, and at this point, it is important to remember to avoid quick fixes that will stress you out further. Don’t try and hide away in a bottle of Jack Daniels, or try and buy yourself into the festive spirit. It simply will not work and you will pay for it, either with the mother of all hangovers or a credit card bill that will outlast the holiday weekend, 2014! The other thing to remember during the holidays is that though it is acceptable, we drink a little more at this time of year. Watch it! Alcohol is a depressant. Though it’s tempting to go to a bar and nurse your drink rather than staying at home, think of that old adage about “being alone in a crowd.”

As stressful and upsetting as the holidays can be for many people, it is temporary. If you are dragged to the Bible Belt to be with your family, you are only there for a few days. Smile, keep your head down, and get through it! If you do go to a work-related event,  have a pre-prepared plan to duck out early for another engagement after an hour, and before anything embarrassing can happen.

Other ways to combat holiday stress and depression include planning, planning and planning. It is a week till thanksgiving. Don’t leave it to the last minute. Call your friends; find out what they are all doing. Organize with your best friends, your closest allies to spend the day together, to cook, to bring food, to have wine, whatever it may be. If you find all your friends are out of town, then remember there are a lot of restaurants that will be open. See if you can find someone to go with. Contrary to what I have said in the past about finding and keeping friends, I am sure that on Thanksgiving day, people here will be as kind and as welcoming as they are
anywhere. After all, didn’t the first Thanksgiving happen when strangers came together over a feast? With that in mind, if you do know someone who you may not be super in love with, but know has no plans over Thanksgiving, invite him or her in with your friends/family. They will appreciate it more than you could know. I know I would.

 

 

 

 

 

Alex Vaughn is the Editor-in-Chief of the Florida Agenda. He can be reached at editor@FloridaAgenda.com

By Alex Vaughn

If you have spent any amount of time in the Wilton Manors area within the last twenty years, there’s a very good chance you have been to Andrews Diner. Nestled on Andrews Avenue just south of Oakland Park Blvd, the family-owned diner has become a favorite of the community. Next week, it will be celebrating its 20th anniversary. The Florida Agenda takes a look back over 20 years of family, community and great food!

Andrews Diner is the combination of an old-fashioned New York diner and a small town restaurant. The one thing that you notice immediately is the friendly family atmosphere. The owners, Gerri and Angelo, are as formidable a team in life as they are as restaurateurs. Gerri says, “The diner is in many ways our home. Our daughter Marla grew up behind the register. She even had her wedding rehearsal here this year. Angelo and I will also be celebrating our 35th wedding anniversary here on December 11. Of course, we are also celebrating 20 years of Andrews Diner!”

That family atmosphere extends without a doubt to the new and established clientele who continue to support Andrews Diner. Gerri says the success in maintaining her customers harks back to the original goal of Andrews Diner: “Our goal has always been to make the customers feel at home serving delicious food at reasonable prices.”

I asked Gerri about the gay community and she is quick to explain “The gay community has been a mainstay of our customer base. I grew up in the 50s and it has been wonderful to see the progress the gay community has made. No one should have to live in shame when there is nothing to be shameful of. There is still a long way to go but we are happy to see the gains that have been made. Thank God for Broadway!” This humor and charm has made Gerri the “Hostess with the Mostess,” allowing her to get close to her customers. She tells me, “We have seen couples date, fall in love, get married and have children. We have sung badly to celebrate many birthdays. The customers have become part of our extended family. They bring us all their problems, joys, funny stories, hugs
and kisses!” Angelo chimes in, “It’s also sad when we lose one of our customers if they get sick or pass away, because we have known them for so long.”

Furthermore Gerri has managed to achieve something that in today’ s world i

s almost impossible. The Diner has gone cell phone free. Between 3 p.m. and 8 p.m. on Thursdays and Fridays and all day Sunday, patrons of Andrews Diner are not allowed to use their phone. “Everybody is entitled to relax and not hear someone else’s annoying conversation!” Gerri remarks glibly. I ask how customers react, “Those that hated it the most, now love it, I ask you, why do you bother going out to dinner if you are all on the phone?” It seems to have worked though. People don’t argue with Gerri. She laughs as she comes to the realization of the success of the no cell phone policy, “Oh my God, it’s like we brought back talking!”

Now, the atmosphere and the ambience have gone a long way in keeping Andrews Diner popular. However the main aspect is, of course, the food and service. “Angelo crafts beautiful, fresh and all home-made food,” Gerri exclaims proudly.  “We provide service with laughter and good times. We may not remember your name but we will always remember your drink order!”

I ask her how she runs the ship: “We want everything just so and we have high expectations. In this sense, I suppose, we possess a bit of an iron fist, with a lot of humor. The advantage of leading like this is obvious – 20 years of success!” She beams again. There is no question that Gerri is a woman who is brimming with pride for her family and her business. She knows how to look after her staff too, a fact that is evident as she tells me, “Most of our employees have been with us the entire time. We make a good team. We anticipate the needs and wants of all who join us!”

What else does she think has contributed to their success? Hard work! “Our continued success is based on being there seven days a week serving breakfast, lunch and also serving dinner on Thursdays and Fridays! Angelo gets to the diner every day at 4 a.m. and we don’t leave till four hours after we close. This is one clean diner!”

So how will they be celebrating this milestone 20 years? “We want our friends and customers to join us on Friday, November 25, after 6 p.m., for a party of good food, good friends, fun and a few surprises!”

So, you know where you need to be on November 25, with Gerri, Angelo, their daughter Marla and her husband Chris and of course, the whole staff/family of Andrews Diner!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Andrews Diner is located at 2980 N Andrews Avenue in Fort Lauderdale and their phone number is 954-563-3555. They are open for breakfast and lunch everyday and dinners on Thursdays & Fridays. The hours of operation are Mon, Tues &?Wed: 7 a.m. to 3 p.m.; Thurs &?Fri: 7 a.m. to 8 p.m.; Sat: 7 a.m. to 3 p.m.; Sun: 7 a.m. to 2 p.m.

By Alex Vaughn

Photo: Heather Lynn Martin Gartner, left, and Melissa McCoy Gartner in their Des Moines home, play with their 17 month old daughter.

Heather Lynn Martin Gartner, 39, and Melissa McCoy Gartner, 41, of Des Moines, Iowa, sued the Iowa Department of Public Health, arguing that the agency’s 2009 decision to only list Heather as a parent deprives their daughter, Mackenzie, 2, of the protections and benefits of two legal parents being present from birth, The Des Moines Register reports.

Judge Eliza Ovrom announced on Monday that she will rule later on the lesbian couple’s lawsuit seeking permission to have both their names on their daughter’s birth certificate.

The Des Moines Register explains the reason only Heather is listed on MacKenzie’s  birth certificate, and why this was not the case with their adopted son, Zach, is because “Of states that recognize civil unions, only Iowa prohibits two women from being listed as parents on a child’s birth certificate. The exception is if a child is adopted.” The couple also argues that they and their daughter will not receive the same benefits afforded to other couples who are parents, such as the ability for Melissa to make medical decisions for her child. They also say it’s unfair, as reported by USA Today, “…that the state lists heterosexual couples as parents on a birth certificate even when they conceive as they [The Gartners] did: via anonymous donor insemination.”

The couple’s fear regarding medical decisions has already occurred. MacKenzie had to be hospitalized a few months after birth with a respiratory virus. Heather Gartner maintained a near 24-hour vigil at her daughter’s bedside because the couple feared that doctors would not allow Melissa Gartner alone to make crucial medical decisions.

The pair’s attorney, Camilla Taylor, said during arguments on Monday that the state lists married men on birth certificates. This is done even when it’s impossible for the men to be children’s biological fathers, The Des Moines Register reports. She also cited the Iowa Supreme Court case that struck down the state’s 2009 same-sex marriage ban. The unanimous ruling cited constitutional rights to basic fairness and equal protection.

The health department has argued that state law allows only a husband’s name to accompany the mother’s on birth certificates, reports AP.

USA Today reported that State attorney Heather Adams said Monday afternoon that if a child’s mother and father aren’t married, there is no father listed on a birth certificate unless paternity is established pursuant to a court order. Adams said the health department has extended other rights to same-sex married couples since the ruling. But she said state law regarding parentage is gender-specific and not open to interpretation. “If I had to summarize the department’s case in one sentence, it would be this: It is a biological impossibility for a woman to ever legally establish paternity of a child,” Adams said.

After Monday’s hearing, Melissa Gartner said she was at her wife’s side when they decided to have kids, when they saw a fertility specialist and when Heather Gartner was inseminated.

“I was there when Mackenzie was born. I cut her umbilical cord. And for them to say I’m not a legal parent? It just seems ridiculous,” she said.

The Gartners married in June 2009, and Heather gave birth to Mackenzie three months later.

Attorneys for both sides agreed same-sex parents should adopt their children if they plan to travel because at least 30 states have adopted laws similar to a federal rule that defines marriage as between a man and a woman.

“We say (this case) is about protecting children, both in tangible ways, emotionally and in respect to their financial security,” Taylor a lawyer with Lambda Legal  Defence and Education Fund in New York,  told USA Today. “Legal rights afforded to kids with two parents provide basic security and vital protections,” Taylor said. A birth certificate is necessary to travel, to determine child support and to obtain government benefits. Lambda Legal also led the effort that culminated in the legalization of same-sex marriage in Iowa.

It is unclear at this point when a ruling will be made by Iowa District Judge Eliza Ovrom.

By Alex Vaughn

Apparently the biggest threat to marriage is the gays. Marriage should be defined as a union between a man and a woman. We have heard it all before, that gay marriage is “unholy and threatens to undermine the sanctity of the institution of marriage.” There is also a school of thought that believes if the US allows gay marriage, the moral fiber of the nation will crumble and there will be disaster. I am reminded, particularly this week, of a comment comedienne Wanda Sykes made a few years back:

“Gays aren’t the biggest threat to marriage. The biggest threat to marriage is divorce!”

As amusing as this is, it is the truth. Marriage used to be something “not to be entered into lightly” and should last “till death us do part.” Today, however that simply isn’t the case. In the past when you got married, you stayed married. Then as times evolved, if things weren’t perfect, you stayed together for the kids, then split up.

People who are against gay marriage have put forth many arguments. However a popular opinion, particularly attached to the stereotypes of gay men, is that they would just jump into marriage after five weeks together, making a mockery of the institution. A fair point, though not a reason to prevent gay people from getting married. But yes, there could very well be a rash of quickie marriages followed by even quicker divorces.

Luckily that doesn’t happen in the straight community. Oh no, wait, yes it does.  The media has been full of the subject of divorce. One divorce in particular, that of reality TV queen, Kim Kardashian and her dim husband, Kris Humphries. There has, in fact, been no way to avoid the stories and speculation about Ms Kardashian’s divorce. Will she give back the ring? How much money did she make from the debacle? Where is he? What will she do with all the wedding gifts?

As we all get swept up in the judgement and hoopla surrounding the ludicrous 72-day marriage (which began with a multi-million dollar wedding), no one has questioned what respect has been held for the sanctity of marriage.

The Kardashian Klan has stood by Kim in defending her against the idea that she got married for the publicity and the money. Now I am an old romantic at heart, so I am going to give her the benefit of the doubt. Even if she didn’t get married for anything other than love, she did revel in the publicity, the E! TV special, “Kim’s Fairytale Wedding” and the multi-million dollar photo deals. Now how respectful is that to marriage?

No DOMA supporters have come up with the idea that reality TV stars should have a constitutional ban on them getting married; that they should be prevented from profiteering from the “sanctity of a union between man and woman” or that they should work out if they love the person first. No, because apparently, and according to their ideals, Kim’s laughable 72-day marriage is acceptable, simply of course, because she is a woman and Kris is a man.

Anyone who watches “Keeping up with the Kardashians” with any regularity also witnessed younger sister, Khloé marry Lamar Odom after just five weeks together. We are more inclined to believe her wedding, first because as far as we know they are still happy; and second, and more importantly, they looked and acted like a couple.

In the case of Kim and Kris (the spelling of his name is just all too suspicious in itself, you expect it from an LA power family, not so much from a guy from Minnesota), their relationship seemed to be comprised of him whining at being seen as another castrated male counterpart to the media hungry Kardashian women, and poor Kim looking totally vacant during their whole whirlwind romance. She never seemed that into him.

There has been a backlash, granted. Cries of foul play and that the Kardashians have duped us.

Therefore, she hasn’t gotten off scot free so to speak, and, as I am being kind, she is also nurturing a broken heart. Yet, I find it appalling the amount of space and time given to this ridiculous marriage that no one has come up against, and yet gay people are still fighting for the right. All people are complaining about is the money, the publicity, and the potential that a subject on reality TV could possibly be staged. Really, what a surprise!

Furthermore, matriarch, Kris Jenner has been working the talk show circuit like a mad woman and with one breath telling the nation how upset she is, not only for the divorce itself but for all the bad press and accusations being thrown at her daughter.

Yet, at the same time, she has jumped on the divorce band wagon and is hocking her new book – a book which, I might add, contains details of the affair she had whilst still being married to the late Robert Kardashian.

These points alone show an utter lack of consideration for the sanctity of marriage and yet they are selling books. The Kardashians have gotten very good at selling things, products, lifestyles and ideas. So whilst gay people are being prevented from getting married, a flagrant abuse of the foundations of marriage is playing out on our TV screens all in the name of entertainment and to get us to buy stuff!
Furthermore Kim has already become guarded, yet a “statement” has been bandied around that is telling everyone they can see the breakdown of the marriage in the upcoming “Kourtney and Kim Take New York.” Mark my words, people will tune in, watch and absorb it all with morbid fascination.  Again where is the respect?

Worse, whether you like to admit it or not, Ms Kardashian is a role model and a popular person. This is the reason the family rakes in over $65m per year. She will influence people, people who will genuinely see marriage as something totally frivolous. Lest we mention, this is the second time down the altar for Kim (the first, admittedly lasted longer, but was not played out for the world to see, giving it a hint of credence).

I would like to know what the protectors of marriage think about this circus. Surely this money-making machine and PR juggernaut under the guise of a marriage is a bigger threat to the respect and sanctity of the institution then allowing people of the same sex to be joined together.

 

Alex Vaughn is the Editor-in-Chief of the Florida Agenda. He can be reached at editor@FloridaAgenda.com

By Alex Vaughn

Dr. Alan Shaffer is originally from Wyalusing, Pennsylvania, and is a graduate of Penn State University. He relocated to Florida in 1985 after graduating from the Pennsylvania College of Optometry. The Florida Agenda sat down with him to discuss how his practice, Island City Eyecare, is helping the wider community see clearly.

Island City Eyecare has been open a little over two years. Alan explains how he came to be on Wilton Drive.  “I have been in Florida since 1985. I have been practicing for 25 years, but my original practice was in Boca. I sold it to move here. Dr James Brauss, one of the partners had his practice further down the drive, by the high school on 4th avenue for 20 some years. He wanted to expand because his family is in optometry. He asked me if I wanted to create a joint practice together, as I had been in the community for many years. We looked for a location, found this one, bought it, built it out and have been on the drive ever since!”

Island City Eyecare offers complete vision-health examinations; contact lenses (including fitting lenses for people with stigmatism and keratoconus); eye-glasses; low-vision evaluations for vision-impaired patients; Lasik co-management and evaluations; and a comprehensive line of designer sunglasses, including brands like Dolce & Gabanna, Michael Kors, Prada, Gucci and Rayban.

Schaffer also explains some other elements that differentiate his practice, “We offer 24/7 emergency eyecare for red eyes and other issues. We pride ourselves on having the latest technology to provide the most comprehensive eyecare we can. We consistently maintain a pulse on technology.”

When asked why he likes having a practice in Wilton Manors, he says, “I enjoy being close by in order to serve [the community] easily and conveniently.” He is quick to point out that the practice services everyone’s eyecare needs, “We do accept many different insurance plans, and when you take insurance people will find you. We don’t feel we only service the gay community. We get many referrals and people will travel to see us.”

He explains further the range of ways that Island City Eyecare obtains and maintains their customer base. “We send out surveys, something other practices don’t do. We are tech savvy; we stay in touch with our clientele via text and email. We are also seeing a lot of traffic from our online presence and social networking. Just recently we had three patients who found us on Google.”

When you walk into Island City Eyecare, the first thing you notice is that it doesn’t look or feel like an optometrist office. It has a welcoming atmosphere and stunning modern furniture. Shaffer explains, “We have distinguished our practice to make it non- sterile. We want it to be a place that is welcoming.”

This ethos carries through into his management approach “I definitely have a flexible management approach. This helps in creating a warm inviting practice. We want to give five-star treatment in order to distinguish ourselves from a run of the mill sterile medical practice. Having a team vision, team work and caring team members allows us to treat our patients as a part of the family.”

Having a business on Wilton Drive can be challenging out of season. However, Island City Eyecare is not really affected. “We don’t have an issue with seasonal slow-down.” Shaffer says, “Retail stores and restaurants are affected. Yet for us the summer season is when a lot of people will come to see their doctors, while it is quiet. School teachers for example, who are on vacation come in and visit us. We don’t really feel any part of the year is a slow-down, People always need to see!”

The community has responded very well to the practice. Shaffer attributes this to the attitude of the staff. “We have a very open door, we treat people of all persuasions, low or high income, we don’t judge and try and welcome everyone.” He continues, “We are also involved with GLBX, GLCC and the Art Walks. We open our doors to everyone and continue to remain part of the community.”

When asked about how he feels the community has changed, he laughs, “Well growing up in a conservative, small town atmosphere with a lack of acceptance, it has changed drastically for me.

Living in South Florida, you see people who are more open to different persuasions and ethnicities.

In the last 20 years, South Florida has become so much more open and accepting. It is more comfortable and easier to live your life open here. It is more enjoyable for everyone when there is less stress.”

How does he feel attitudes have changed towards gay people? “There is a positive change in attitudes in the general sense for sure. There are more gay groups within associations. As being gay has become accepted, there is more opportunity to be yourself. The pressure to stay in the closet for fear of judgement is definitely diminishing. Of course, there are changes in politics as well, with the repeal of DADT and the discussions on not defending DOMA.”

When asked about the future, he is clear about the vision. “We are always trying to maintain a finger on the pulse of technology to provide the best quality eyecare. We are also now expanding into examining overall body health and wellness. There is more to eyecare than just seeing 20:20. General health affects the eyes as it affects the rest of the body.

“We have recently obtained new technology to evaluate if your nutritional supplements are working.  All your vitamins and nutraceuticals make up a billion dollar industry but, till now, no one really knows if they work. There is finally technology to measure that. The machine measures your antioxidant levels, the higher the antioxidant level the better. If your levels are low, you need to increase them.”

Would he develop Island City Eyecare into a chain? “No, I would ra ther be

the CEO of a small company than a large one. I would not want to expand to the point of losing that personal touch. I come from a small town and I like the family atmosphere we offer.”

There is no question that Alan and his team are passionate about their patients Alan is clear to state that though he has practicing for 25 years, he “still loves it.” The final question for Shaffer causes him to pause. If he had an open check book what business would he go into? After much thought he says, “As I said, I love what I do. If I had an open check book, I would love to take care of my patients and not worry about the bills. I would help people who aren’t as able to help themselves.”

 

 

Island City Eyecare is located at 2301 Wilton Drive, Suite C1, Wilton Manors, FL and appointments can be made by calling 954-764-6906.  Walk-ins welcome!