By Joel S. Slotnick
Growing up, like many, I used to hear “The older you get, the faster the time goes.” I used to laugh and tell people they were crazy. Where has this year gone? 2015 is saying so long and I’m realizing my next column will be in a whole new year. Well, it seems the older you get, the time does go faster! Actually, it flies by!
2015 will be remembered for love. On January 6th, Florida legalized same gender marriage. For me, it was amazing. When I officiated my first straight marriage on July 4th of 1976 as a notary, the last thing I ever thought was I’d be officiating same gender marriages 39+ years later. My first was on January 31st. In my eyes, it was one of the most historic moments of my life. There have been many since. Some of the marriages have been couples together for decades wanting to take that final step, now that they are recognized in their home state of Florida. I’m certainly looking forward to my first three marriages lined up in 2016.
Fast forward to June 26, 2015. The Supreme Court of the United States rules the right to same gender marriage. FINALLY, marriage equality for one and all. Those same gender relationships who married in other states before Florida will now are recognized nationwide.
But let’s not get complacent. There is still a long way to go for acceptance. Remember Kim Davis and her bandwagon supporters? They’re still out there. Of recent, we have our own Marco Rubio, who plans to end marriage equality if he becomes leader of the free world.
Yes, we still have a lot of work to do. Part of that work has to do with garnering acceptance staring with our own. What could I possibly mean? It’s simple. Aside from phobias and religion, people see how we treat “our own” and it’s not always nice. How can we really expect those who are straight to treat us the way we deserve when we don’t always treat those within our own “community” that way?
Over the summer, there was a lot of publicity about a pool event where there was a $50 charge for persons over a specific age. Those who were young, got in for free. The interesting thing was, some of the negative comments made regarding what was classified as blatant discrimination of older people, were made by people who themselves don’t exactly treat persons in a nice way.
South Florida (and beyond) has such a melting pot of groups, cliques, whatever you want to call them: Bears, Leather, the die-hard gym rats or club goers, runners, walkers….the list goes on.
The problem is, we don’t look in the mirror when the acceptance test is put right in front of us. We get upset when we are the recipient of discrimination because we may not be thin and pretty, a bear, a leather person, muscular, a club person or have model qualities. We may not fit into any of those worlds and many don’t have a problem letting us know whether it is by words, actions or a lack of both. Some of us will never adorn the cover of a magazine. It has nothing to do with many of us being patrons at the same places. It has everything to do with “Your look isn’t what people want to see on the cover.” No lie! We tend to shun those who we’re not attracted to or don’t share the same interests. It’s human nature, but that doesn’t always make it right. What will it take?
It may never be resolved. People take a hello as a come-on or a marriage proposal, even though it may be harmless. It is up to each of us to change the stigma we have helped place upon ourselves.
We deserve all to recognize our marriages and ultimately show the world we are no different than they are when it comes to love and life. It is our opportunity to be role models and prove we can accept our own before we can expect the rest of the world to accept us. It doesn’t take a lot. We can continue to be bears, leather, die-hard gym people, club goers, runners, walkers, anyone. However, we must try to be respectful of one another and all the differences that come with it. We can become a true community that does know how to engage with those who are not like us. It’s not impossible.
May the New Year bring you wonderful, exciting new changes for one and all!
I leave you with these words: “What the new year brings to you will depend a great deal on what you bring to the new year.”
-Vern McLellan
Rev. Joel S. Slotnick is an ordained Interfaith minister and full time digital court reporter for the state of Florida.
