“Thriving In South Florida With Bobby Blair” is designed to empower and inspire readers. In each interview, I will be featuring members of our community who share their real stories of bravery, tenacity and a strong will to survive. Their dilemmas and hardships are ones to which we can all relate. Yet, in the end, these leaders came out on top. Combining our print edition with our strong online presence, I will be bringing the community inspirational stories in a whole new way. In addition to the print version of the column, we will also feature an Internet talk show segment through guymag.net and floridaagenda.com. You’ll be able to see episodes of the talk show “Thriving In South Florida With Bobby Blair,” exclusively through our sites. I hope that you enjoy both the talk show and the feature below.

Laurie Whittaker and Jennifer Morales, owners of Sidelines Sports & Video Bar in Wilton Manors, gave been together for 33 years now (last week was their anniversary). Thirty-three years together is what’s kept their business alive, coupled with their passion for sports of course.

“I feel both privileged and pressured when people ask ‘how did you make it last so long?’” says Whittaker. “One thing [is that] Jennifer and I were very fortunate to grow up together. I was 19, almost 20, and she was 21. When you’re that age you think you know everything, but you get older you realize you really didn’t know anything at all.”

Though they were happy, the couple struggled at times.

“There was a time that Jen and I were on food stamps, and I remember at that time feeling embarrassment.”

But through it all, Morales stood by Whittaker’s side – even when Whittaker’s own family wasn’t. For ten years, Whittaker’s relationship with her family became nearly nonexistent, until she moved down to Florida to pursue a career in law in 1989.

After the many years, her family became a part of her life again.

“They thanked me for allowing them back in my life, even though they had cut me off, and that I didn’t rake them over the coals and give them such a hard time. I’m not going to lie to you, there was still some lingering feels of hurt and pain,” Whittaker says openly. “It’s better for you to forgive than to hang on to the anger and the resentment, because in the end, you’re the only one that hurts, not the person that you’re angry with, because it’s not affecting their life, it’s only affecting your own.”

“Most people don’t know that I have a moderate hearing disability. I have to read lips. If you’re standing behind me, I can’t hear you.”

“Jen, when I first met her, was not that much into sports,” says Whittaker. “She goes absolutely nuts now [for games]. Even when we’re at home. I’ve created a monster!” she jokes.

After her dad passed, Whittaker decided she wanted a change of pace.

“When your whole day is doing nothing but solving people’s problems, it gets to be a little bit difficult,
explains Whittaker. “To be honest with you, I’m the type of person that really cares, so sometimes I made it a little too personal. As a lawyer, that’s very dangerous, because it can really burn you out.”

She always liked being around people and the idea of opening a bar seemed like the right idea.

Going seven years strong, Sidelines is still bringing in sports fans by the numbers. In addition to that, the bar now offers a VIP bottle area, where groups of friends can watch the game in a reserved space. With 24 flat screen TVs, two pool tables and dart boards, the bar is aiming to bring the action to you.

None of the success would have been possible if it wasn’t for the determination, passion, and love that Whittaker and Morales found within each other.

Albert Cabrera is a musical guru. Better known as one half of the Latin Rascals, Cabrera, along with Tony Moran, helped to create the dance genre of the ’80s known as “freestyle.” After DJ’ing in New York, Cabrera landed a high profile gig as a mixer at WKTU, one of the Big Apple’s biggest radio stations. The duo’s remixes and edits brought some attention their way, eventually producing the Cover Girls single, “Show Me,” which became a huge club at the time. The duo’s work was pushed by Arthur Baker, which lead them to remix songs for Diana Ross, Cyndi Lauper, Hall and Oates, and plenty more. At that time, the duo transitioned from remixers to artists, where Tony Moran took vocal lessons and took to the stage, with Cabrera on the drums.

But the late-night work sessions in the studio combined with the clubbing took its toll on Tony eventually. Since cocaine was so prominent in the ’80s and ’90s, it wasn’t long before Cabrera was doing lines in order to stay up all night (whether it be in the studio or at the club). “It was normal to be in the studio and do, you know, a few lines of cocaine and stay up if sessions started at 2 a.m.,” said Cabrera. When asked when Cabrera made the decision that his career was more important, he was honest: “When drugs beat me up enough to recognize that that wasn’t the route to go, and I started to see my friends die and see how serious it was.” Cabrera said that the “power” drugs have over people is reason enough to stay away.

In 2001, Cabrera was doing sound engineering, working with various artists when he got a call from a studio rep to produce a song. The work led Cabrera to form a separate project, called Lee Cabrera, which gained Cabrera huge notoriety in Ibiza with a successful remix of Lil’ Mo’ Yin Yang’s “Reach” in 2002. In 2003, he released the CD and video for “Shake It,” Cabrera’s biggest single to date. He went on a musical hiatus from 2004-2010 to explore other ventures, before finally deciding to head back to music in some way, shape, or form. After traveling to Thailand, Cabrera was inspired, recording a total of 22 tracks. Preparing to move to Thailand, Cabrera has released a remix for “Joy and Pain” by Pagany, which is already receiving positive feedback from house music critics and listeners.

Cabrera got through the ’80s and ’90s club scenes because of one thing – passion. His advice to young artists is to stay away from drugs (even if everyone else is using them around you) and to just focus on your passion.

Peter Jackson is the definition of a game-changer: He literally swapped out his career for another. British by birth, Jackson was born in Jamaica in 1962 (when it was a British Colony). He spent most of his youth in the Caribbean, which isn’t exactly known for its tolerance for homosexuality. When Jackson came out (at the age of 30), he didn’t have a support system: One of Jackson’s brothers didn’t speak to him for six years, and one sister still doesn’t. “Does it affect me?” Jackson asked rhetorically. “Yes, it hurts. But I have not allowed it to dampen my spirit.”

Fortunately for Jackson, since his siblings moved out of the house and got married at early ages, he developed an independent spirit of sorts. Though he didn’t have a support system within his family, Jackson didn’t turn to drugs or alcohol for comfort. “A big part of it was simply my resolve that I had self worth, and I was not going to allow my sexuality to define who I was,” says Jackson. “I’m a lot of other things in addition to being a gay man.” Love is universal, and to Jackson, he wouldn’t let one facet of his personality to affect his entire life.

When Jackson decided he wanted to become a journalist, his father was devastated: “He told me that journalists were alcoholics, they were drunks, and they were homosexuals. He got one of those right.” Jackson told us that he knew had a passion for journalism around the age of eight, when he would read the daily paper religiously. Jackson went on to attend Emerson in Boston and became a journalist. At a very early time in Jackson’s career, he got into the business side of journalism, leading him to advertising and sales. At the height of his career, he served as vice president of sales and marketing for one of the largest privately-owned media chains in the USA, responsible for revenue development and growth for more than 120 newspapers in 12 states. Always a fitness enthusiast, Jackson became certified as a personal trainer in 1995 simply to gain knowledge for his personal benefit. As he transformed his own body, friends and friends of friends asked him to help them achieve their fitness goals and so personal training became a lucrative side business to his career in the newspaper industry.

While training a client in Fort Myers, Jackson realized how burnt out he really was on journalism. His client told him, “You’re such a good trainer. I don’t understand why you’re not doing this full-time.” A light bulb went off in Jackson’s head, and it was full speed ahead. Jackson opened Push Fitness in Oakland Park, creating a niche for himself with unique workouts and programs. From group training to one-on-one training (including specialized training for individuals living with HIV), Jackson believes his passion is what propels his business. “You’ve got to be passionate about what you do. Otherwise, what’s the point? The fact that I have a successful business is one part of it, but being passionate about it what really makes it enjoyable.”

Peter Jackson is proof that it’s never too late to change your life completely.

Growing up in Birmingham, Michigan, Paul Bunting is really an all-American kind of guy. A wrestler throughout his teen years, you might be wondering/hoping, “But is he gay?” Bunting told us,  “I don’t really get into the labels because for me, I think that labels are a way to divide people. I think if we continue with division….it’s not going to be good for anybody.” Bunting is truly ahead of the curve.

“It took me until I was 37 to come to terms with my personality type. If I were to have just one drink, that’s okay. But if I catch a buzz, I know that I’m in trouble.”  He discovered that he can do daily meditation, breath work, to let go of anxiety and worry to the best of his ability. If he stops, he feels uneasy. Bunting feels that this is the case for most people, whether they come to terms with it or not.

Now, Bunting is using the life experience as a way to help others. He’s been a personal trainer since 1997 and has been certified to teach yoga since 2003. In 2007, Bunting became ERYT-500 certified, standing for “Experience Registered Yoga Teacher.” The 500 stands for the 500 hours of teaching that he’s completed. Most recently, Bunting is working with people and educating them through his Alignment Yoga techniques. Bunting works with people who have medical or physical challenges, showing them breathing techniques, meditations, and other holistic approaches for those seeking mental wellness.

Bunting is just one of the many local community members who took a personal hardship and turned it into a positive experience in order to help many people for years to come.

Be on the look out for Paul Bunting’s upcoming monthly column in the Florida Agenda.

Krishan Manners is working hard to make Wilton Manors a better city for all. For the past three years, he’s been aiding in the city’s development, “sustaining small town charm” and “creating urban sophistication.” The proof is in the pudding: He’s creating a landscape for new business owners to get into their businesses faster than every before.

Born in New Dehli, raised in New York, and schooled in South Carolina, it’s fair to say that Manners is well-traveled. Though he’s only been here for three years, Manners has already made a huge impact on the community. His non-profit organization, Wilton Manors Development Alliance, offers a free service to anyone that is interested in opening a small business in the area. He works with businesses on press releases, media contact, grand openings and more. Their main goal is to get more “mom and pop” businesses up and running in a timely fashion.

In addition to businesses, WMDA is trying to tackle some important issues of The Drive itself. He’s working toward a better, bigger Wilton: scaling down the drive to a two-lane road, widening sidewalks, safer crosswalks, parking garages, hotels and more. The next big thing on the organization’s plate? Revamping Dixie Highway. “Dixie Highway is really set to boom over the next few years. We have an advance coming in in I believe 2015 for sidewalks and streetscape improvement. There’s the potential of the train station going there for the FEC Line which I think would be phenomenal. I think the real estate there is going to improve considerably. Dixie is prime to boom.”

We can thank Krishan Manners for understanding the city, developing relationships and making our city the best it can be.

Photo of Krishan Manners by KuttnerPix

 
Howard Cohen helps the community in a crucial way. As a registered Mental Health Counselor, Cohen helps to talk a number of people off of their own personal ledges – whether it be literally or figuratively. Cohen works with people dealing with stressful situations and environments who find it difficult to manage their own lives. Whether it be work challenges, family-related conflicts, or personal issues, Howard is there to help. He helps clients learn healthy “coping skills,” guiding them to discover tools that will contribute to a positive, healthy lifestyle.

 
Cohen went from a theater background, to working in a bank. He turned down a scholarship to University of Miami because he felt he was not yet ready, choosing to pursue a career in banking (for the time being). Now for some people, this might seem like a strange transition. But for Howard, it helped him become more independent, stable, sociable and ultimately, openly-gay.

 
After the economy took a turn for the worst, Howard felt uneasy. He could feel the world’s depression closing in, and he knew that the timing was right for him to do something. He decided he wanted to help people who needed a shoulder to lean on during a time where hope was scarce. After some education, training and starting up his business, Cohen’s efforts were met with great success.

 
Now, Cohen has combined his love for theater with his passion for mental health counseling to create workshops geared toward those who are struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts. When asked about the community’s current state, Cohen says, “I think the biggest problem in our community, that I’m seeing, is a lack of connectivity…It’s kind of a party atmosphere.” He defended himself by saying, “There’s nothing wrong with a party, but not all the time. [We live in] a social place – and I like that –  but it feels like the bars have too much influence on the people.” Cohen says not to buckle in times of despair. If you are feeling hopeless, seek the help of a counselor immediately. Howard is literally saving lives every day, and we thank him from the botom of our hearts for it.

 
For more information on Howard Cohen and his services, visit www.cohencounseling.com or call 954-980-9628

Florida-native singer-songwriter Richard Cortez is one of the community’s finest youths. This year’s “Mr. Stonewall” helps people daily as both a performer and a Recreational Therapy Technician, but many people don’t know about his dark past. Though he is open about his history with drugs, alcohol and sex, it’s easy to forget that it was even a real part of his life.

Although he knew he was gay at the age of 13, his environment wasn’t always as nurturing as Richard had hoped for. His mother, a case of undiagnosed Bipolar I disorder, his father, a sexually-inappropriate womanizer who was at times, homophobic. When Richard wasn’t able to process and cope with what was going on around him, he did what many young kids who are looking for a way out would do: drugs. While he didn’t delve into harder drugs, he found that whatever he was doing was in excess: at times, he was using around-the-clock.
He hit his personal rock-bottom when he overdosed and nearly died on one reckless night. Richard recalls, “As my vision was blurring and I was projectile vomiting, I said to myself, ‘God, if you let me get through this I promise that I’ll change my life.’ When I woke up the next day, I drove home and I made my way to my first AA Meeting.” The decision isn’t an easy one to make. Richard admits, “It was really, really, REALLY difficult. I didn’t want to let go of the bar-lifestyle. I thought all of my friends would stop calling.”

For Richard, AA Meetings worked: they helped him reach sobriety. After getting sober, he bought himself a plant. He found that he was very interested in horticulture – a form of recreation therapy. The symbolic hobby lead Richard to find that recreational activities really helped him as a coping mechanism. Now, three years later, he’s a Recreational Therapy Technician. The job is a dream come true for Cortez, who believes that recreation is a fantastic way for others to maintain a healthy and balanced lifestyle.

Recreation therapy (also known as therapeutic recreation) is a systematic process that utilizes recreation and other activity-based interventions that are based upon the assessed needs of individuals with illness and/or disabling conditions. The holistic, drug-free therapy can help people of all ages reach their goals. It gives participants the opportunity to feel good about themselves and their accomplishments, learn new skills that will enhance self-esteem, develop healthy coping techniques, relieve tension and to cooperate with others through group activities.

Cortez is the definition of a game-changer and a positive role model for the whole community. He urges everyone to hit their “inner pause button” when they are tense or upset, asking them to take the time to think about whether or not the decision they are about to make will in turn impact them in a positive way or not. Will your decision be a step toward your goals in life, or will it be a step away from where you should be headed? The advice may sound simple to some, but it can mean the world. It can be the difference between a negative impact on your life, or a positive one.

Jonathan Wiley isn’t your traditional Country singer. He was raised in Galvinson, TX by a family within the Penacaustic Church – his father, a preachor. Following his Christian upbringing, he questioned if he was really gay. He began to doubt his feelings toward men and prayed to God for answers. Finally, he came to terms with his sexuality without having to compromise his faith. He believes that God intentionally created him as a gay male. He came out at the age of 14 – on Easter Sunday no less –  and surprisingly, his parents were okay with it. Jonathan realized at a young age that music was his future. After an extended amount of time spent singing in his church, he began to dream of a singing career.

Jonathan recently appeared at South Florida Dancing with the Stars, where he performed a moving Jason Mraz song in honor of Michael Festa (of MSB Fitness), the recipient of the Making A Difference Award, an award that honors those who help others with HIV issues, health and wellness. Wiley says that the song he sang touches him deeply. He says, “It shows you not to give up on life…just keep going – everything will work out for the better.”

While Jonathan was working at a gay bar in Texas, he met his partner Ronnie. Ronnie had never set foot in a gay bar before, but after seeing Jonathan throw someone out of the bar, he knew they had to meet. He mustered up the courage to go into the bar to talk to his new bouncer beau, where the two hit it off right away. Wiley says that Ronnie is “The best person [he's] ever met.”

As a performer, Wiley faces obstacles daily. It’s a cutthroat industry, but he’s confident in his success. He knows that his career will be promising because of his strong faith and confidence: he tells us, “you should always be yourself and have confidence in what you do. Don’t just try, do.” His determination and conifdence makes him just one of the many heroes here in South Florida who are thriving through adversity.

For the full interview, visit floridaagenda.com and guymag.net

Michael Rajner has appeared on CNN, he’s met President Obama and has even set foot in the White House. A fundamental piece in the South Florida LGBT community, he is working hard to provide the a better environment for both our youth and adults alike.

Born in Brooklyn NY, Michael moved to New Jersey at an early age. He was raised in an environment where he was surrounded by conservative values – his father was a transplant from Warsaw, Poland – but that didn’t stop him from becoming the proud, gay activist that he is today. He’s been heavily involved in politics since he was 13, when he testified before a New Jersey Senate committee to lobby for the passing of a bill that he favored. After college, he joined a seminary where he was sexually abused and harassed. Following the experience, his faith was shaken. Even recently, he refused to attend his nephew’s christening, which was to take place in a Catholic church. Not only because of his own experience, but because they don’t affirm gay men for who they really are. Fortunately, Michael found a way for the experience to fuel his inner fire, turning it into a positive experience.

Though Michael has had HIV for years, he has found a way to turn the experience into a platform for reaching out to others and advocating safe-sex. Since 2007, Michael has been involved with the School Board, working with the Diversity Committee. Over the years, Rajner made sure that the LGBT youth were included in non-discrimination policies, and also helped to put together a critical resource guide for schools to utilize in order to better support their LGBT students. Michael says that he provided the “political muscle” that the school board needed in order to address these issues, making noise for those that could not speak for themselves (he says that he “tends to be loud in [his] advocacy, not shy”). Fortunately, that’s just what the community needs, especially when the LGBT youth is concerned.

Michael Rajner is an extraordinary role model for our community. When complimented on his advocacy, Rajner says, “I compare our community to a bicycle with many spokes. I’m one spoke.” He says that the real heroes are the proud, brave LGBT youth that live their lives freely. “They are the ones that provide the role model and the image. Those are the real heroes.” While Rajner is humble, he defends issues that he believes in with an unwavering confidence. He’s the guy you want on your side, and luckily, we have him. He’s fighting for our rights behind closed doors, which is sometimes easy to take for granted. He’s just one of the many local heroes who are thriving to make our community a better place for everyone.

You can follow Michael Rajner’s efforts through his official Facebook page at facebook.com/michael.rajner