HOW COME IT’S OK FOR YOU TO FLIRT with whoever you want, but as soon as I even look at another hot guy I get bitched at?

I’VE TRIED SEVERAL TIME TO RUN into you to get you to notice me. You’ve already said I was sexy, so what exactly is the dea

l?

I HAVE BEEN KILLING myself trying to get a perfect body. I’m seriously thinking about just taking steroids. I will definitely get laid more.

I INTRODUCED MY EX to one of my friends and they end up getting drunk and hooking up. What kind of BS is that? Guys are just horny bastards that will screw anything.

I THINK ITS BULLSHIT THAT YOU blow me to off and then end up doing lines of coke in the strip club bathroom off some old dude’s ass. We’ll see if I come and pick you up next time you are a wasted mess.

GOING OUT EVERY WEEKEND IS getting so old. I really should just start drinking at home and jerking off to porn. I would feel better and still get my nut at the end of night.

MILEY CYRUS IS THE SHIT. I DON’T care what people say about her. She’s 17, if she wants to be a slut, so what? I was hooking up when I was 15.

I WAS REALLY BORED THIS WEEK. I must have watched like fifteen different pornos and jerked off. I think it was a new low and a new record.

IT’S THE MIDDLE OF THE SUMMER and I still haven’t been to the beach. But it’s easier to just lay out by my pool instead of driving out to the beach and endlessly looking for a parking spot.

SOME JERK OFF PASSED ME THE OTHER day while I was driving and then slowed down to turn. I wanted to ram the back of the car.

I HAD MY APARTMENT TO myself for an entire week and didn’t have any company. What a wasted of being able to make as much noise as I wanted to in my bed.

A BIRD MADE HER NEST ON MY porch, and I was initially fine with it. I went out there recently and there was shit everywhere. I looked at the mama bird and I think she could tell I was pissed.

I DESPERATELY NEED A VACATION. Not only do I need some R&R, I need a new crowd of guys to choose from for a few days. I think I’ve done the rounds here one too many times.

LEVI JOHNSTON AND HIS BITCH fiancé make me sick. How can they get so much press off of being hypocrites? I seriously doubt they are not boning.

I WAS SO HUNGOVER RECENTLY I made myself throw up for like two hours straight. It was one of the worst feelings to have all of the alcohol come up.

Do you have a “Bitch” you want to submit?  Post it on the Mega Bitches facebook page and it just may end up in future edition of the Florida Agenda.

BOCA TANNING – COCONUT CREEK

You were working Monday night and I could barely speak as I was registering because of how hot you were. As you led me to the tanning booth, I couldn’t take my eyes off of you and your sexy basketball shorts. I was tempted to ask you to come in the room with me, but was too shy to even flirt with you. At least now I know your name and where to find you on Monday nights.

BIKES AND BOOKS

You were checking me out as I was locking up my bike outside of Barnes & Noble on Sunday. Inside, you followed me to the men’s magazine section, but I knew it was really me you wanted to read. When I left, you cruised me again as I was unlocking my bike. Dude, its Wilton Manors, just say hello. I don’t bite, unless you’re into that.

JOHNNY’S

I was the drag queen you sent a shot over to. I dont know who you are but thank you. I dont drink but am very flattered.

CUBBY HOLE Saw you sitting at the Cubby Hole. You are a hot man.

Wanted to see more of you but to shy to go to the bathroom when you did.

DEERFIELD BEACH

Don’t know if you’re into guys, but you’re incredibly stunning. Don’t know much about you, only that you’re in your early 20s and you like cats.

THE MANOR

Like the rest, a long shot. We met last night, upstairs and outside at The Manor. I was wearing a red polo and shorts. We talked about each other’s dogs, and or jobs,etc. Not sure if I gave you my right cell since I was a bit drunk.

THE DEPOT

Who is the hot blond bartender at Depot, and better yet, is he single? He has gorgeous blue eyes and no shirt on a great tanned bod.

Alibi Happy Hour
I was out …. Tuesday Happy Hour at Alibi ….. you were a cute guy … Indian I think …. Made eye contact with you. You are sexy as hell

Bally’s on Commercial
Tuesday morning – You were wearing white shorts blue top. I was checking you out on incline press and Smith machine.

Car Wash Last Sunday
I saw you at the car wash on Sunday with mazda 3 new car you are very hot like to play some time let me know saw you while you watched your car wash.

LA Fitness Close to Federal
I was leaving locker room as you came from shower. I think we locked eyes just as you dropped your towel. I’m kinda shy so I didn’t really look.

You’re a nice looking guy with an obviously sexy body.

Casual at LA Fitness
To the guy that let me watch him jerk off in the sauna at LA Fitness in Coconut Creek, I want to watch again as it was so damn hot. I wish I would have got your name or number.

Flugtag
You were wearing a stripped tank top and glasses. You were witha group of friends. If im not mistaken you smiled and sorta winked at me, unless you got something in your eye and im delusional lol

Saw You in a Black Nissan
You were driving a black Nissan Altima on 95. I followed you for 15 miles. You all of the sudden realized that you were at your exit and moved over three lanes, now you are behind me. I turned one way and you turned the other…. As you were turning you noticed my eyes fixed on you.

New Bartender at Cubby Hole
My Boyfriend and I think you are the HOTTEST bartender in Lauderdale!

I ran into this straight guy I used to hook up with in high school the other day.  He looked like he had just seen a ghost.  What a douche.

When I moved to South Florida I hoped I would find some decent men, but boy was I wrong.  There is nothing but nastiness here.

I’ve been watching that show “Cheerleader Nation” and I want to slap all of those moms trying to live through their daughters.  Most of them are fat and not cute.

I saw the biggest mess at the bar last night.  I looked like he had just spent the last week doing every drug in the book.  Is this really what this world has turned into

?

The new designer clothes you’ve been wearing does not cover up the fact that you are a total slut and a piece of shit.  Window dressing much?

That guy Jon Gosselin almost makes me hate that I have a dick.  He is probably the sorriest excuse for a dude I have ever seen.  Someone should cut off his dick and feed it to him.

I think I would rather eat out my own dirty ass than to ever screw you again.  You were the lamest lay I have ever had.

LMAO I was chillen with this dude the other day and he said he was feeling experimental.  I’m not complaining, but it sucks all these hot guys only want to hook up when they are drunk!

Some bitch had the nerve to tell me I needed to smile more and not look like I wanted to kill someone.  I was like, I’m in a long line and the girl at the cash register is moving TOO slow.

I hate sometimes I’m considered part of the same group as these nelly bottoms and drag queens. I act like a guy and don’t consider that as part of my world.

So Lindsay Lohan is getting a lot of press right now for something that has nothing to do with her movie career.  She needs to get her shit together.

It’s one thing to want to look your best, but wearing clothes that are about ten years too young for you makes you look like an idiot.  Dressing age appropriately is much sexier.

When I was younger I used to hook up online a lot.  Now that I’m older I just don’t get it anymore.  I can’t see myself having sex with someone I have never met before like I did before.

How the hell I’m sick in the middle of the summer?  I hope I didn’t catch anything from anyone. Maybe I should get some penicillin.

Do you have a “Bitch” you want to submit?  Post it on the Mega Bitches facebook page and it just may end up in future edition of the Florida Agenda.

Why is it that the fattest and ugliest person in the group has the biggest attitude. Bitch if I wanted to see a whale with a large blowhole I’d go see Shamu not u….

If you want sympathy, its in the dictionary between shit and syphilis.

Here’s to getting stuck behind the never-ending train when you’re already late.

I don’t get Grindr profiles with headless bodies that say “just looking for friends.” Then why the hell you on Grindr, bitch?

I finally decided to get one of those online accounts to try to meet a decent guy, and once again everyone is only looking for the same thing: to hook up. Is there any outlet out there to meet a normal guy?

I had a dream about my ex last night, but it was more like a nightmare.  How can he still be bothering me three years later?

Ugh, I haven’t wanted to work out in weeks, but I don’t want to get out of shape.

What a shitty 4th of July weekend.  It was raining all freakin weekend and I got zero sun.  I guess it’s back to the tanning bed to catch up.

This guy keeps asking me to send him nude pics of me, but he will never send any of himself back.  When he finally does send pics back, they are of other guys.

Some days I wake up and really despise being gay.  It’s like vicious cycle of meeting guys, hooking up, and then starting over again.  I really don’t see anything changing anytime soon.

I was out the other night and couldn’t find my check card and couldn’t drink most of the night.  Come to find out it was underneath my seat in the car the whole time.

Eclipse was really good and I want to know what happens next, but I HATE reading and don’t want to read through 700+ pages in the final book.

I was hooking up with this guy and he lasted literally one minute.  I was like WTF? Then of course I had to finish myself off.

Every time I leave work there is always a swarm of people drinking outside for happy hour.  I have to fight so hard to not join them.

I love Lindsay Lohan to death, but I hope she does not get out of jail early.  I think it would be shitty if she didn’t learn her lesson from this and get her life back on track.

Do you have a “Bitch” you want to submit?  Post it on the Mega Bitches facebook page and it just may end up in future edition of the Florida Agenda.

I was having a good weekend and then the muffler fell of the back of my car and I was stranded with nothing to do for days.  I had no idea what an inconvenience it would be.

I was invited to this event but decided not to go because I was tired.  The guy gave me a guilt trip, so I went and there were only five people there.

Ugh, every time I tell myself I’m going to take a few days off from drinking it never works.  I end up getting just as drunk AND going to McDonalds or Checkers.

I was all excited about going to a party this weekend, but when I looked in my closet I had absolutely nothing to wear.

This guy I was crushing on came into the bar and just completely walked by me after saying hello to the people with me.

I was talking to this guy for a while and it seemed like we were hitting it off and then all of a sudden he stopped talking to me.

It’s amazing that after all of the guys I have hooked up with, barely any of them talk to me.  I guess I got myself into my own mess.

Why do I keep getting drunk and sending random, embarrassing text and facebook messages?

I was so hung-over on Sunday I could barely move.  I stayed in my bed all day and watched TV.  I literally only got out of bed to use the bathroom.

Only David Beckham can pull off a European swimsuit.  You just look like a girl.

I have been trying to call my friend for a few days now and we keep missing each other.

I have had an injury for a few months now and I don’t know what to do about it.  The doctors say just to rest it, but I can’t.

Some radio personalities really get on my nerves.  Some of them pretend to be know it alls and all I want to do is punch them in the face.

I have been sleeping like shit lately.  I can’t seem to find the perfect amount of hours to sleep.  It either feels like too much or not enough.

I was in the grocery store the other day and this stupid lady was walking so slowly in front of me dragging her feet.  I wanted to ram my cart into her.

I am so bored sitting at home just waiting to take my board exam.  I don’t understand why this process takes so long.

Do you have a “Bitch” you want to submit?  Post it on the Mega Bitches facebook page and it just may end up in future edition of the Florida Agenda.

Stonewall St. Festival

You sang a couple of songs and wore chaps and a jockstrap made out of an American flag. You spun around in a cape too. There was hot white/blonde haired guy playing a keyboard on stage too. You guys were great.

24 Hour Fitness

I go to 24 Hour Fitness in Coral Springs, usually during the late mornings, early afternoons. I see a lot of hot guys in there 20′s and 30′s and look without being too conspicuous. And sometimes they look back and we lock eyes a few times but I try not to hold my gaze too long to avoid suspicion and anger. Although, I am gay, no one could tell by just looking at me. I’m the type that wouldn’t approach anyone, just my nature, but secretly wish one of those hot guys would approach me.

City County Credit Union

Hey saw u in the bank around 3:30 p.m. on Tuesday and we checked out each other a couple of times. I wanted to say what’s up, but was in a rush to get out of there! You said my name to me as I walked out!

LA Fitness on Sheridan

I was at LA Fitness here on Sheridan plaza and we both came in the gym at the same time, then you followed me into the bathroom and we took a piss next to each other. I was waiting for you to say something to me because I was too shy but we made eye contact and I think we were both too scared to say anything. I am 21 with short brown hair, swimmers build and boyish look. Athletic and good looking.

You were late 20s early 30s reddish-blonde hair, wearing a Miami-Dade firefighter shirt and was talking to several of the people there so I assume you’re a regular but this is the first time I’ve seen you.

Walking Your Dogs

We chatted briefly when you were out walking your dogs – German shepherds. Blue shirt, camo shorts. You said I looked good.

Saw You While Shopping

You were shopping at Old Time Pottery and carrying a wicker basket. I was working in the store. You I had a short conversation. I was distracted by your basket that you were displaying in your blue checked shorts. I liked what I saw and displayed that I liked what I saw. Couldn’ t do anymore

than look and talk with you since I was working. You kept squeezing what I would love to play with.

Let’s Meet Again
We met at gay days in Orlando at the woohim.com booth. we went back to my room and it was awesome. When I woke up you had gone. Post a reply on woohim.com

Parade Last Sunday
You are the dude with the yellow lab at yesterday’s parade. I was dancing on one of the floats and noticed you smiling at me as we passed. I tried to find you later but couldn’t. Hot, man. Hope to hear from you.

Ramrod – Pride Night
You stood next to me in the men’s room, it was around 1 am, after I finished I rubbed your hot hairy chest and stomach then like an ass I walked away from you. I was with a friend, just a friend not lover, and was afraid I would piss him off if I started hanging out with some hottie I met instead of hanging out with him. BIG mistake. I would love another chance to get to know you if your interested. Let me know what color shorts I was wearing when you respond so I’ll know your the one I lost.

7-Eleven on Federal Highway
You were behind me in line this evening. VERY cute, muscular and sexy. And, you were wearing unique shoes. If you’re interested, reply to this and tell me what made those shoes unique. If you’re not interested, then take this as a friendly compliment and it was nice to have been able to be in front of you in line.

Two Guys at Delray Beach
Hey,  there was two of you. Big, Buff, football player types. You guys were playing in the waves on the beach, then after went and got Ben & Jerry’s. One was taller then the other. Both very masc, and hot as hell. Black shorts with a red stripe on the ass of one, and the other in all black shorts. You didn’t have towels so it looked like you were at the beach in the moment it looked like. I was sitting under the pavilion. hit me up if you bros are interest in chillin.

Looking for Daniel
You were at Gay pride on Sunday in front of Alibi’s – your name is Daniel from Miami born in Argentina. I hope you believe in Love at first site. If you know this guy please let him know who saw this ad. Daniel is in his late 20′s earily 30′s sandy blond hair 5″9 and drop dead beautiful. Thanks.

Hot Guy at Scandals
I saw you at Scandals on the patio in the early evening. You are tall maybe 6’1 and in your early 30′s. You were talking in a group of 4 and then later I saw you inside just as you were leaving around 6:30. I think you were with your boyfriend but I couldn’t tale my eyes off you. You are such a good looking guy. Our eyes met just before you left and you looked straight into my eyes. I hope you see this because I’d like to know you. Tell me what your shirt said on the front.

I finally met a guy who was everything I was looking for in someone and it turns out th at

he does drugs.  I think it’s just in my cards to be unhappy.

I have furniture strewn all over my house and it looks a hot mess.   When is someone going to come get that damn table out so I can put up my new one?

I was telling this person about a friend and how her husband hand cancer or a tumor on his brain and she said “bad things happen to bad people”. What a bitch!

I just had a patient run to the bathroom and fart the entire way down the hall. Wonderful!

I can’t believe I had to wait 3 hours to finally talk to someone.  I understand having a busy schedule, but if you do it just because you think you can, that’s just wrong.

Someone said to me “most of the things you tell me I already know.” What a dick.

Don’t you hate when you are at the bar and someone buys you a drink or a shot, and right before you go to drink it your date/bf/partner/husband asks you….”who sent you that?”

‘Just Sayin’, ‘Really’, ‘My Bad’, – abused words of the Decade.

Guys that say “bro” or “dude” or “man” ten times in every sentence make me want to scream.  Just because you talk like that does not make you any more masculine.  It makes you sound like an idiot.

My friends complain I’m a bitch because I like to get what I want.  I don’t think that makes me a bitch, I just think that makes them bitchy.

Pride was fun last weekend, but it was SOOOO hot and I couldn’t even take off my shirt because I was working.

You don’t have to be cracked out EVERY time you go out.

I wish my roof would stop leaking.  I can’t put anymore napkins up there to stop the water from leaking onto my computer.  UGH!

How dare you march up in there like you are actually somebody and try to steal my thunder.  That will NEVER happen again.

Stop beating around the bush about what you want.  If you want something bad enough you just need to tell someone.  WTF?

I know you have your phone on you all of the time.  Why does it take you so long to respond to text messages I send you?  When I’m around you, you are constantly texting.

Don’t you hate it when you go out with your girlfriends…lol…guy friends… and there is always that one that thinks everybody is looking at him? Not cute.

Do you have a “Bitch” you want to submit?  Post it on the Mega Bitches facebook page and it just may end up in future edition of the Florida Agenda.

DQ – Wilton Manors

I was parking my Pink Vespa and dismounting from it and turned to pull my man bag out of my storage compartment when our eyes met. You were about 6 foot dark hair maybe 180 lbs with such nice arms. I got moist instantly as I thought about you bending me over the Vespa and giving it to me, and I am not referring to the banana split that was in your hands.

Louis Vuitton and Sweats

I don’t think it was a random coincidence that you were in the elevator after already leaving. Perhaps it was. Nevertheless, I wish I would have reacted less coy when we spoke to one another. Interesting if you actually look for this same experience. I wonder what the odds are?

LA Fitness

Just saw you in the showers a bit earlier — you have a shaved head, nice lean body, dark features. You showed me your hard-on in the shower almost directly across from mine. I was in the corner.

Yeah, I wanted to play but was a bit shy. Maybe next time?

Waiter at Tropics

You were working tonight (Tuesday) early evening. I was sitting at the bar checking you out as you sipped on your coffee. You’re gorgeous and your ass looked fabulous in those pants. Hit me up if interested and let me know what I had on.

North Beach Hottie Collins & 85th

I saw you at the beach today, we made eye contact and I thought you were cute, you were with your friend. You smiled and spoke to me and when you walked pass me you looked back. But I think you didnt want to say anything because you were with your friend. I hope you get this. You were wearing VERY flattering green shorts, and your friend had on some grey ones. Reply with where you saw me and what I was doing so I know it is you. Hope to hear from you soon sexy!!

Saturday night at The Manor

You were at manor Saturday night. You are super cute with red shirt and jeans. Quiet guy. You seem really nice and beautiful. This is a very long shot, but I am hoping you see it. I would love to have coffee with you.

Karate Kid at Johnny’s

You did a martial arts routine in the talent contest. I am the biker guy who said hello and saw you perform. I think you are incredibly hot… love your smile and I was really impressed… would like to meet for lunch or movie or more.