Florida Agenda

Hey there! I’m going to hollow out a piece of fruit, carve a face into it, shove some fire inside it, and name it after you. Gather ’round, kiddies, and let me tell you a story about a boy named Jack who had this very thing happen to him. Before we begin our story, let’s […]

By JUSTIN JONES Let me start this week with a fun fact about you and me: We are all social and, no matter how fervently some will deny it, we crave acceptance. Not by everyone, of course. I, for example, take no issue in being left out of fantasy football leagues (or terrorist cells). Generally […]

By Justin Jones I’m writing this to you as I sit on my bed with a Pillow Pet (Winnie the Pooh), surrounded by a million-billion pillows, while I listen to the soundtrack of “Beasts of the Southern Wild.” I’m sick as a dog, and tomorrow’s gonna suck, and my complaining to you makes me feel […]

This bathroom was spotless only moments ago: My boyfriend’s model sailboat carefully polished, every water stain on my mirror gone, and my counter empty. But now it’s a different scene: The countertop has a quarter-inch of hairspray covering it, hair wax begins to dry around the drain in the sink, and the place is littered […]

By Justin Jones He throws me to the bed, hops on top of me, and kisses me. He pulls away to tell me I’m beautiful, tickling my neck with his scruff. I play innocent, he plays captor. He holds me down and nibbles my ear. My body flushes with adrenaline. We’re home after dinner (and […]

By Justin Jones Bottoming is a lot of work. Being a promiscuous bottom is a WHOLE lot of work (I know this from past experience). Attention to anal hygiene is time well spent, of course—no one wants an accident—but still, it gnaws away at time one might spend doing something more pleasurable, namely: Partying, cuddling, […]

By Justin Jones I was a slut when I was younger. A big one. I documented my sexual escapades while I lived them—some mind-blowing, others boring, a few frightening, and a very few, well, simply … scarring. My experiences affected me like practice does for most people: It made me better. Malcolm Gladwell famously (and […]

By Justin Jones I spent every summer as a teenager in Fort Lauderdale. From the first of June through the middle of August, I indulged in your beaches, in your clubs, and with your boys. Fort Lauderdale then was my escape—an annual breath of fresh air from my confined (and closeted) existence in North Carolina. […]

By Justin Jones   My ex was cruel. And hot. And masculine. And mean. And [insert any positive adjective here]. And [insert any negative adjective here]. He possessed a blend of the most wonderful—as well as the most tragic— qualities one might imagine an ex having: Enough good in him to fall in love with, […]

By Justin Jones So there you are, sitting in front of your computer with your jeans around your ankles, your underwear at your thighs, one hand on a mouse pad, and the other on your 21st digit. The laptop’s bluish glow is the only source of light in your bedroom: it illuminates the soaking wet […]