“Don’t drink the water” is a common warning that can be disregarded with CamelBak All Clear’s UV purification system that turns any tap or clear natural water into potable drinking water in just 60 seconds. For more info, go to camelbak.com.

Eagle Creek makes some of the most innovative and convenient packing tools on the market. Its Pack-It line helps compress items to maximize packing space, while it minimize wrinkles. The convertible bag is a teeny pouch weighing less than a pound, those folds out into a tote, backpack or duffel bag. For a look at the full line of products, priced from as low as $22, go to shop.eaglecreek.com.

There are times when you want to take a photo and don’t have anybody you can ask. That’s when the Tiltpod comes in handy. It easily attaches to a camera or small phone, has a magnetic base that pivots and comes with a wrist. It is reasonably priced at $14.95 at gomite.com/products/tiltpod.

Kate Spade’s two-tone leather passport holder, comes with interior slots for a passport and three cards, plus a clear ID window and an exterior slot for stashing a boarding pass, making getting through security a breeze. Available at saturday.com for $50.

Maybe it’s my inner hippie speaking, but I love to give a gift that gives back. The compact, seven-ounce WakaWaka solar charger juices up a phone in just a few hours and has a built-in light that can shine for more than 60 hours. Best of all? For each charger purchased, the company donates one to the typhoon relief effort in the Philippines. Available from wakawaka.com for $69.

Remove all doubt as to which is their suitcase at the luggage carousel with a gift of Jonathan Adler’s “This Is Mine” leather luggage tag. A snap closure allows a space to put personal info. Available at joanthanadler.com for $38.

Hotel room bedding can be suspicious, even in the best of places. Let them put a layer of silk between their skin and unfamiliar bedding with a DreamSack (which comes in its own 8” x 4” pouch). Made of silk with a built-in pocket for a pillow. It is machine washable, quick-drying and only weighs 6 oz. Flight Spray helps prevent viral infections by creating an unsuitable environment for inhaled germs to reproduce. Both are available at magellans.com.

Your gift recipient will never have to pay for overweight luggage again with the Balanzza digital luggage scale. It’s small enough to pack and strong enough to weigh up to 100 pounds. It indicates pounds and kilograms making it ideal for the international traveler. Available at many retail stores and web sites for less than $20.

Laugh all you want about the Home Shopping Network, but for every bedazzled denim jacket for plus sized ladies, there’s a terrific product. One of my favorites is the Grid-It! Organizer. Its compact size makes it easy to slip into a briefcase or backpack and ends rummaging around for stuff that falls to the bottom of the bag. It’s only $19.95 and available in a plethora of colors at hsn.com.

My final entry comes from one of my favorite sites, Flight 001. “Airline: Style At 30,000 Feet” is a fascinating book examining every aspect of airline style, from the interior design of planes to the days when flight attendants wore haute couture instead of polos and khakis. It’s only $14.95 at flight001.com.

Branson, Missouri, once a dying lumber town, has turned itself into an entertainment capital. It is home to scores of theaters and resort hotels that appeal to tourists (mostly middle of the road grandma and grandpa types) year-round. During the holidays the businesses and townspeople put on quite a spectacle with The Festival of Lights, which draws more than a million visitors annually. The biggest event is the Adoration Parade more than 50 bands and floats, including cowboys and a cattle drive, through historic downtown Branson. It’s a wholesome hoot, sort of what would happen if a lot of straight (very) white people put on a Pride Parade. Except instead of boys dancing in their underwear, there’s baby Jesus. In addition to the parade, the entire town glows with more than million Christmas lights. Don’t miss the Winter Wonder Landing, featuring a fountain that shoots fire as well as water. The fountain’s display is choreographed to Christmas music and goes off every half hour.

The National Christmas Center in Paradise, Pennsylvania is the only Christmas museum in the entire world. The museum features hundreds of thousands of Christmas items, some more than 200 years old. Wander through a life-size recreation of the birth of Jesus, then turn a corner and end up in Tudor Towne, a whimsical village full of cuddly Christmas creatures. These are just two of the 14 yuletide fantasy worlds, including a visit the North Pole where Santa’s workshop is filled with animatronics. One of the best exhibits recreates an old “dime store” with a recreation of a Woolworth all decked out for the holiday. (Younger readers ask someone older to explain this part to you.)

For holiday shopping you can’t do better than Mall of America in Minneapolis, host to more than 520 stores. During the holiday season, ten-foot wreaths are hung throughout the mall and giant red ornament bulbs, weighing 300 pounds each, hang from the ceiling. Head to the mall’s rotunda to see a pair of beautifully (if not tastefully) decorated Christmas trees standing more than four stories tall.

Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, known as “Christmas City, USA”, was founded on Christmas Eve in 1741. An electric star shines over the charming downtown area where you’ll find a German inspired Christkindlmarkt. The market is set up every Thursday through Sunday from the day after Thanksgiving until Christmas and 150 artisans sell their handicrafts, Christmas decorations and food.

As we know, lack of snow doesn’t mean lack of holiday spirit. The palm trees in the funky seaside town of Santa Cruz, California, are all decked out in lights. On weekends between Thanksgiving and Christmas, Santa and Mrs. Claus arrive by train to the Santa Cruz boardwalk, inviting visitors to hop aboard. The ride takes visitors along the beach, through Cowell Redwoods State Park, across a 1909 steel truss bridge, and through a tunnel. All the while Santa and Mrs. Claus make their way from car to car visiting with passengers.

In Washington, DC, The Pathway of Peace, the walkway leading up to the National Christmas Tree at the White House is illuminated every day from dusk until 11 p.m. One giant blue spruce is surrounded by 56 smaller trees (representing the 50 states, five territories, and District of Columbia) planted in the Ellipse, located just south of the White House.

Wheeling, West Virginia’s Oglebay’s Winter Festival of Lights, set in the hills above the Woodsdale neighborhood, is a six-mile drive decked out in one of the largest Christmas light displays in the country. Drive through a twinkling snowflake tunnel, ogle at the six-story tall poinsettia wreath and then head over the “Fantasy in Lights” Christmas parade, and an ongoing Christmas party at the Kruger Street Toy and Train Museum.
To get a taste of how the 1% celebrated Christmas back in the day, check out Christmas at The Biltmore, The estate is decorated with dozens of Christmas trees, miles of garland, countless strands of white lights, and thousands of ornaments. A choir performs in the glassed Winter Garden, dancers dressed in vintage attire glide through the ballroom. By day or night, Christmas at Biltmore is sure to get you in the holiday spirit.

Christmas New Orleans Style is a month-long celebration. The streetcars are festively decked out and holiday decorations abound. Take a tour of antebellum homes decorated for the holidays, listen to the sounds of riverboat caroling cruises.

To get the full effect head up to New England. A quick plane trip to one of the major cities in the area can afford you easy access for day trips out to the country. Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Pennsylvania , Connecticut, New York and Massachusetts all offer picturesque settings to catch this colorful phase of photosynthesis.

Maine’s top routes include Route 17 from the coastal city of Rockland to the state capital of Augusta, as well as the areas around Sebago Lake, near Portland, and Baxter State Park, in center of the state. In Vermont, head to the center of the state along Routes 100, 107, 12 and 106 for an 88-mile loop through Gaysville, Barnard, Woodstock, Ludlow and Killington. New Hampshire’s White Mountains (start in Jackson) provide a wonderfully scenic tour.

Connecticut’s US Route 44 takes you through Natchaug State Forest, or hit Old Saybrook on State Route 154. In Pennsylvania, head to Bucks County (stay in New Hope, the Wilton Manors of Pennsylvania) or Lancaster. New York’s Hudson River Valley’s Point Lookout Inn’s elevated panoramic view a five-state perspective. It’s easily accessible via the Palisades Interstate Parkway. The Adirondack and Catskill Mountains and the Finger Lakes region are also good spots for leaf-watching.

Massachusetts, though not as well known for its fall foliage offers a couple of special options. The Mohawk Trail offers a riotous explosion of autumn color blankets the streamside trail at Bridge of Flowers in Shelburne Falls. For the ultimate GLBT fall foliage excursion, head to Provincetown. Fly into Boston and take the ferry out to P-Town, or rent a car and enjoy fall colors on the 2-3 hour drive. If you like to travel with your pooch, you’ll be happy to know that Provincetown is a dog-friendly place. Many, if not most, of the lodgings allow pets, and your dog ill love taking a walk along the trails you hike to see the autumnal colors.

Cape Cod is breathtakingly beautiful on brisk fall days and most of the shops and restaurants are open until Thanksgiving. Nearly every motel, hotel and B&B offers fall packages and specials. For example, at the Harbor Hotel (harborhotelptown.com), the room rate (including breakfast) is the temperature at 2p.m. (the average temperature in November ranges from the mid-40s to the low 60s). The hotel also bikes you can borrow for a quick spin around town or over to the dune trails. Some of the shops along Commercial Street will be closed after Halloween, but those that are open will offer deep discounts on merchandise so they can clear out their stock before boarding up for the winter. For special rates on lodging and package deals, check out ptown.org/specials and ptownchamber.com/specials. Some November events in Provincetown include the Beaux Arts Ball on the 2nd, Men’s Weekend the 9th through11th (PtownMensWeekend.com), the Thanksgiving Weekend arts and crafts Fair and the lighting of the Lobster Pot Tree in Lopes Square on the 30th.

For all of these options, remember to pack a good pair of hiking books or walking shoes. While most of the routes are drivable, you’re going to want to get out and walk the trails and pathways to fully appreciate the experience. For more ideas, check out U.S. Forest Service’s web site, fs.fed.us/fallcolors, or call its hotline 800-354-4595.

A Sinful Climax at the End of the Road

The overseas highway, built in late 1930s, as the southernmost leg of US 1, is the most colorful way to get to Key West, that last remnant of civilization before hitting a string of uninhabited barrier keys that lay like a necklace dotting the Atlantic and parts of the Gulf of Mexico. For much of its 113 miles of roadway linked by 42 bridges, it’s a one-lane affair where 55 mph is the recommended speed. Not that much goes by the book here. Built on coral bedrock, often atop remains of Henry Flagler’s Florida East Coast Railroad, the highway itself is an engineering marvel. And the sights along the way to Key West give even the most jaded traveller a sense of freedom. From tiny Key Deer the size of small dogs to incredible Giant Heron with four-feet wingspans, this is a remarkably fertile seascape of color, form, vegetation and wildlife so active that there isn’t a second that you won’t find something shadowed against a sky so blue that not even the cotton candy clouds can compete.

It is somehow appropriate that after the 3 hour and 45-minute journey from Fort Lauderdale, leaving all this bounty of sea and nature behind for the rough-around-the-edges Bohemian rhapsody that is Key West would be a let down. And so it would be if it weren’t for the oasis known as the Island House Resort (1129 Fleming St, Key West, FL 33040, 800-890-6284). Drive down the small alleyway streets of Key West, past the tourist vendors and T-shirt shops, the bars alongside the Conch Train with its tourists, cameras poised under oversized hats shielding from the heat, and arrive at this all-male, private compound of lush tropical gardens surrounding a large clothing-optional pool heated by the sun to the perfect walk in temperature that soothes as much as it invigorates.          

You reach the front desk of this resort by a short brick path up an alleyway off of Fleming Street just west of White Street. The front desk is contained within a small comfortable lobby and populated with smiling faces that immediately nurture the road weary traveler in you. Just off the lobby is a complete, if petite, fitness center with all the essentials to keep you tight and toned, plus the additional features of a sauna, steam, and Jacuzzi where magic has been known to happen.

The rooms are all decorated in a chocolate brown, gold and beige theme that says masculine, sophisticated and luxurious in the same breath. The 300-count ironed linens, the thick towels, the flat screen TVs, the powerful showers, and the L’Occitane bath lotions and shampoos are standard whether you select the smallest accommodations, with shared bath priced at a low-end $99 during the summer months, to a standard room with queen bed and private bath at $259, to the grander double queen rooms with writing desk, sitting area, refrigerator, wet bar and deluxe walk-in closet priced at $359 during the off season.

We stayed in an immaculate one-bedroom apartment, with its own leather sectional sofa and large flatscreen TV, full kitchen, king size bed and full bath area, that tallies a sweet $359, or bring the whole family and occupy the two-bedroom apartment with its king and queen beds at $379. Either unit comes with private parking, always at a premium on the tight streets of the Key.

Next week, we’ll fill you in on the various free events staged weekly at the “House,” including a Sunday raffle orchestrated by the always friendly Richard. Until then…

There are those who would argue that Washington, DC has some of the best international restaurants in the world. And given the number of international power brokers who call “The District” home, we have to agree.

The Dupont Circle gayborhood boasts two of our favorites—both can’t-miss experiences for completely different reasons. Komi (1509 17th St. NW between P & Q Streets NW) offers up a prix fixe food tasting at $135 per. The owner-chef here is cute-as-a-button Johnny Monis who offers up a constantly varied palate of orgasmically delicious mezzethakia—small plates that run through Monis’ Greek roots in an assortment that would be equally at home in an Aegean trattoria. Reservations are a must (202-332-9200), and have to be made at least a month in advance, regardless of how important you think you are.

A popular gay hangout for decades, Annie’s Paramount Steakhouse (1609 17th St. NW between R & Q Streets NW) has been in business since God called for resting on the seventh day.  Annie’s is a venerable institution where the good food takes a back seat to the wash of famous customers, most of whom have gay underpinnings. Easily our favorite item on the menu is Annie’s Famous “Bull in the Pan” ($15.95). It’s tenderloin tips of beef, marinated in herbs and spices and served sizzling hot. A double order is called a “Double Bull” and runs $24.95. Yes, they’re that good.

One of the most famous bars in the city is right down the street. JR’s Bar & Grill (1519 17th St. NW between P & Q Streets) where the crowd starts buzzing around 6 p.m. and doesn’t quit until well after 1 a.m. Word of caution: the cutest guys in the place typically end up being Republicans, so prepare to deal with all that entails or just keep moving.

Two blocks away from Nationals’ Stadium (home of the Major League East Champions) look for Ziegfeld’s/Secrets (1824 Half St. SW). This is DC’s headquarters for drag shows—the Ziegfeld part; and for nude male strippers—the Secrets section. There’s a $5 cover charge before 10:30 p.m., and a $10 cover charge afterward. This two-level entertainment emporium has been called “the Smithsonian of penises,” or at least the Secrets floor has.

For the leather/bear crowd, the DC Eagle (639 New York Ave. NW between 6th and 7th Streets NW) gives a pretty good impression of its old self when sex was to be had in the distant corners of the dimly-lit upper floors. Like many leather bars, the Eagle is located in a dicey neighborhood a stone’s throw from the Convention Center. The bar is celebrating its 41^st anniversary November 16, beginning at 12 a.m. and continuing through the weekend.

The District’s largest club is Town Danceboutique (2009 8th St. NW at U St. NW), which packs dancers body to body on Friday and Saturday nights. Doors open at 10 p.m. to the public, though on Friday nights beginning at 6 p.m.,  the DC Bear Crue hosts Bear Happy Hour until 11 p.m. There’s no cover until 9:30. After 11 p.m. on Fridays, expect to pay $10. Add an extra $2 on Saturday. With multiple levels, drag shows, a cabaret lounge, and high energy, it’s worth every penny. Smokers are asked to step outside before infiltrating their lungs, allowing everyone else to breathe easily. It’s the way things are done in our nation’s capital.

Following up on last week’s introduction to Chicago, Illinois, we return to President Obama’s onetime hometown to scour the gayborhoods best bars, clubs, and cafés.

Chicago’s largest gay village is nicknamed Boystown, though it’s legally known as Lakeview. The first officially recognized gay neighborhood in the United States, it is also the cultural center of one of the largest LGBT communities in the nation. For those who keep track of such statistics, Boystown also has more resident drag queens per square inch than any other place in America.

Our hands-down favorite club in the area is Sidetrack (3349 N Halsted St., between Roscoe and Buckingham). Currently celebrating its 30th anniversary, Sidetrack is a labyrinth of seven bars, lounges and a celebrated balcony from which all things wicked can be observed. It’s the largest video bar in Chicago, and swears it sells more vodka per night than any other bar in the entire U.S.A. Just down the block and across the street is Roscoe’s (3356 N Halsted St.), where the kids go to dance, and the Daddies go to spoil them. Roscoe’s, now in its 25th year, is a great place for eats in spring, summer and the beginning of fall, with its sidewalk café. The big draw is the wet boxers contest the first Sunday of each month— boxers as in underwear, not pugilists.

Continue walking up Halsted Street and visit Cocktail (3359 N Halsted St.), where the drinks are fun concoctions like strawberry mojitos, legendary DJ’s spin sizzling hot music, and some surprisingly good Chicago pizza and salads are served at The Garden. Very hot go-go dancers perform on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday nights.

Hydrate (3458 N Halsted St.) gets points for its College Night on Tuesday. Drinks are $1 each and you don’t have to be matriculating to attend. Those that are, however, get inside for no cover charge with appropriate college I.D. The rest of the week are drag events at Hydrate, with all the drama and hair such a schedule suggests.

For those into leather and bear packs, there is always the tried-and-true CellBlock (3702 N Halsted St.). While the front bar is rather tame, the back bar is serious leather, with porn videos to prove the point.

For something a lot sleazier, pump it up and head to Manhandler Saloon (1948 N. Halsted St.). This place is Chicago’s bar-equivalent to a bathhouse, so don’t give us those Betty Boop eyes when your pants are pulled down around your knees and a wet mouth enters your sightline. This does not happen in plain view, of course.

Mosey right through the front bar with its surly bartenders, and right through the back patio. The action takes place beyond the stockade fencing where crowds as large as three dozen will be doing the nasty nightly. Chicago’s alternative gayborhood to Boystown is Andersonville. This one-time Swedish settlement has given way to upscale LGBT residents who flock to @mosphere (5355 N Clark St. at Balmoral Ave.). The attractions here are drink specials, a large dance floor, and go-go dancers from Wednesday through Saturday. Go a little further north and discover Touché (6412 N Clark St. at W Devon Ave.), a fancy name for a leather bar that’s been around for 35 years. The place is sweet with just the right stench, and men’s men playing in the backroom. Our kinda town.

CHICAGO PART 1 HERE

Chicago, Chicago, that toddlin’ town,” Frank Sinatra sang in his 1957 recording. It was quite the popular hit at the time, though we’ve always been hard pressed to understand what a toddlin’ town actually is. One thing we do know is that Chicago has earned every bit of its reputation as an exciting, sophisticated and dangerous place to live. Yes, dangerous. So far this year, there have been over 400 murders in Chicago—more murders than the much larger cities of New York (312) and Los Angeles (212).

That aside, it’s fortunate that the charm of this town continues unabated, particularly for those with an interest in architecture and the arts. The Art Institute of Chicago (111 S Michigan Ave) is the second largest museum in the United States (the largest is the Metropolitan in New York). It has a truly amazing permanent collection, particularly focusing on impressionist and post-impressionistic painters. Additionally, the African American Art Collection found here is well known for its assortment of paintings by Archibald John Motley, Jr. There’s a roof-top terrace that provides a great break from the art, and offers a fantastic view of the city. For those using public transportation, head for the Adams/ Wabash Station via the Brown, Green, Orange, Pink, or Purple Lines.

Architecturally speaking, Chicago is a Whitman’s Sampler of tastes and style. Some of our favorite buildings in this city on Lake Michigan include Our Lady of Sorrows Basilica (3121 W Jackson Blvd.); the former Sears Tower—now officially called the Willis Tower (233 S Wacker Dr)—at one time the tallest building in the world; the Chicago Avenue Pumping Station (821 N Michigan Ave) that survived the Great Chicago Fire of 1871; the CNA Center (333 S Wabash Ave), whose major claim to fame is its sunset red paint; and the 311 S Wacker Dr. Building that holds two distinctions. Until recently, it was the tallest reinforced concrete building in the world, and it remains the tallest building to be known by its street address alone. The city devotes over eight percent of its land area to parks. Of these, Lincoln Park holds a special place for us since it is not only the largest of Chicago’s parks (with 1,200 acres), it is also the only park to span many different neighborhoods throughout the north side, as it is nestled between Lake Shore Dr. and Lake Michigan. As such, it has many different entrances, but the one located at 2001 N Clark St. will get you to the front of the Lincoln Park Zoo—always a fun place to visit. Any time of the day or night, Grant Park, located in the downtown business district along Lake Michigan, is showcased by the famed Buckingham Fountain, dedicated in 1927. A water show operates in the Rococostyle fountain from April to October, with decorative lighting taking the stage when the weather turns cooler. For those into trivia, the fountain was featured in the opening credits to the TV hit “Married.with Children.”

Our favorite new hotel in Chicago is the PUBLIC (11301 N State Pkwy.). The one-time Ambassador East Hotel, home of the famous Pump Room, has been re-invented by Ian Schrager (of Studio 54 fame). While the Pump Room remains a fragment of its former self, the guest rooms in PUBLIC are incredibly efficient, lovely, and beginning at $135 a night, they’re a bargain.

Next week, we’ll cover the bar and club scene of the Windy City. Hold your breath. It’s worth the wait.

CHICAGO PART 2 HERE

Photo Right: A busy and pleasant night at the Faneuil Hall Marketplace

There was a time when Boston was one of the friendliest gay towns in America. Politicians mixed with school teachers, librarians and flight attendants—each in his uniform of choice and each socializing and melding. If not exactly uninhibited—for Boston has always had its form of quiet reserve—at the very least, it was happy.

Now that the major citywide construction project known as the Big Dig has been completed, and traffic and noise is under control, Boston has taken on a new, quiet conceit which is refined, proper and sophisticated. While this may work in a fine restaurant, hotel or art museum, it’s not exactly what the hot vacationing gay guy wants to discover while looking for a weekend of fun.

Of course, Boston is an architectural treat, reeking in history and tradition, with an incredibly efficient underground transit system that makes traveling between neighborhoods incredibly simple and an economic joy. Must sees: Faneuil Hall Marketplace (incorporating Quincy Market) is a combo eatery, tourist trap, and historic landmark, located at 1 U.S. 1; the Museum of Fine Arts (465 Huntington Ave.) has major collections of French impressionists and post-impressionists, including Gauguin, Manet, Renoir, Degas, Monet, Van Gogh, and Cézanne; the State House (206 Washington St.), built in 1713, is the old surviving public building in Boston (Paul Revere’s house is the oldest standing building, constructed in 1680); and the John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum (220 Morrissey Blvd.), designed by architect I. M. Pei, and the official repository of the Kennedy papers as well as unpublished manuscripts by Ernest Hemingway.

Boston is a network of neighborhoods that line the Charles River and Dorchester Bay. Each section has its own unique charm with great Italian restaurants in the North end, Fenway Park in Kenmore Square (Go Red Sox!), and Irish Pubs to the South. Like London, Boston is a fusion of old traditions and new arrivals that make it the cultural hub it is today.

When staying in Boston, your hotel options are nearly limitless. The time-honored choice is the Taj Boston (15 Arlington St.), which was originally built as the first U.S. branch of the Ritz-Carlton Hotel chain in 1927. Although it’s luxury at its finest, it is not nearly as much fun as staying at the Chandler Inn Hotel (26 Chandler St. at Berkeley St.) which is connected to the Fritz, South Boston’s gay sports bar. Expect to see lots of suits, ties and Ralph Lauren shirts in this crowd.

For the stand-and-pose junkies, try the nearby Club Café (209 Columbus Ave. at Clarendon St.). Go to the Club and get three bars in one— the Main Bar and Lounge out front, the Back Room, which is where the regulars congregate to dance, and the Napoleon Room Piano Bar— which is exactly what you’d expect but less. The Club has been around for 27 years, and while it may not be Cheers, it does have its loyal clientele.

The Eagle (520 Tremont St. at Dwight St.) is a one-room monument to its former self. No longer the denizen of leather and whips, this version of the Eagle chain is attempting to reinvent itself as something that’s not quite crystalized into earthenware. The bears in Boston hit the North End at The Alley (14 Pi Alley at Court Sq.). Here again, it’s a one-room windowless collection of smells and stains the less you know about the better.

In Boston, you’re safer sticking to cultural events, and saving playtime for a visit to Provincetown, Cape Cod’s gift to equality.

Robert Elias Deaton is a world-traveling epicure who enjoys the finer things in life.

Portland, Oregon, is the third most populated city in the Pacific Northwest (after Seattle and Vancouver). Its warm, dry summers and wet, cold winters are perfect for growing roses, and grow roses they do. The 4.8 acre International Rose Test Garden (850 SW Rose Garden Way) is world renowned and stands in the shadow of Mount Hood.

The garden c o n t a i n s over 7,000 roses from 550 varieties, making it one of the most i m p r e s s i v e displays of the woody p e r e n n i a l in the entire United States. Roses blossom in this vibrant city through Halloween, so travel now before the rainy season puts an end to your fun.

The most convenient flights from Fort Lauderdale airport to Portland are on United Airlines that makes a brief pit stop in Houston on the way. Current economy fares run around $320 round-trip. The Red Line of the Tri-Met Rail System can transport you directly in the walking-friendly downtown area were a rental car is not required.

While Portland has its share of luxury hotels and budget bed-and-breakfasts, our favorite place to stay has always been The Nines (525 SW Morrison St.), an exclusive inn situated in the historic Meier & Frank Building, built in 1909 as the largest department store west of the Mississippi. The structure currently houses a branch of the Macy’s Department Store chain on the lower levels with the top nine floors remodeled as the 330-room The Nines Hotel.

Play, relax, and luxuriate in the sophisticated elegance of this luxury hotel where kingbedded rooms start at $199.

The Nines is conveniently located across from Pioneer Courthouse Square, a public space known as Portland’s Living Room, so popular is this bricked plaza. It’s also the site of the MAX Light Rail system, where the Red, Blue, Green, and Yellow lines converge, and can get you anywhere in the city within a few minutes, including to the array of gay clubs this illusive city has to offer.

The hottest dance club in town at the moment is C.C. Slaughters (219 NW Davis St.- – 1 block west of the MAX Red & Blue line stop on 1st Ave, Old Town), with a large packed dance floor, adjoining show lounge, and no cover charge ever. Sunday is swimsuit night; Wednesday it’s time for underwear. If you need to be more undressed than that, head over to Silverado (318 SW 3rd Ave.—Oak/SW 1st Ave. MAX station).

The Eagle Portland (835 N Lombard St.) follows the theme of most Eagle bars appealing to leather men and the boys who love them. Stop by Thursday and play naked billiards. That’s the one with the balls and the cue stick. At the other end of the club scene, Portland’s elegant piano bar and lounge is Hobo’s (120 NW 3rd Ave.) located in Old Town. The dinner menu is a diverse affair with a delectable Blackened Cold-Water Salmon ($19) that is seared and roasted with a cucumber wasabi tarter sauce that will clear your sinuses if not your wallet. Jim Blackburn is on the piano Wednesday through Sunday beginning at 8 p.m.

Hobo’s is also the starting location for the Shanghai Underground Tour, (503-622-4798) an hour-and-a-half guided exploration of the brick-arched tunnels that criss-cross under the streets of Old Town Portland (formerly the city’s Old North End), where white slavery was rampant during the early 1900s. Tours begin at 6:30 p.m., with extra tours scheduled for Halloween. An underbelly never looked so fascinating.

Way back in the mid-seventies, which seems like a lifetime ago, we would go to the gaslight district in downtown San Diego for the sailors who hung out there in all the saloons, tattoo emporiums, porn shops and massage parlors that populated the area. It was a run-down fun place in those days, when the city itself was known for its military population, and its proximity to Tijuana, Mexico.

Now the area has been totally gentrified, is officially called the Gaslamp Quarter Historic District, and is a colorful and eclectic assortment of restaurants, bars, shops, lounges and live music venues, that is a must-see for any visit to the second largest city in California. Yes, there are gas lights on the streets, as well as historical art deco buildings that take you back to the turn-ofthe-( last)-century.

Two things you should know about S.D. right from the start: A) you’ll need a rental car. The gay areas and sights are strung throughout the town from one end to the other. B) There are three main gayborhoods here: Hillcrest, University Heights, and North Park.

Hillcrest is really the center of all things gay, bordered on the north by University Heights and the East by North Park. Stroll along University Avenue to get a feel for the place, with its coffee shops, stores, and assorted bistros.

Rich’s San Diego (1051 University Ave. between 10th and Vermont) is the oldest and most popular dance club in the city. We also love the Brass Rail (3796 5th Ave. at Robinson) with its Latino base and an outside patio, which allows you to take a breather as you people-watch out front. For those who like their action on the dirty side, The Loft (3610 5th Ave. at Brookes) is the local dive where hankypanky and stiff drinks are the order of the night.

While in the Hillcrest area, don’t miss a stop at Hash House a Go Go (3628 5th Ave.). It’s our favorite big-portion restaurant, and a legend for breakfast according to locals who have made it an institution. Our favorite item on the menu is the Hash Cobb Salad, served later in the day.

Balboa Park, which borders Hillcrest on the South, is a 1,200-acre bounty of hiking and biking, museums, historic expositions buildings, and the world-famous San Diego Zoo (home of the Giant Pandas). Get to it via public transportation or the Cabrillo Freeway. Go early and spend all day exploring this green haven. For the rougher side of gay San Diego, head to North Park, where you’ll find the only real leather bar in town. The San Diego Eagle (3040 Park Way at Ray Street—one block parallel to University) is small, sexy and exactly what you’d expect, which is a good thing. At Pecs (2046 University Ave. at Alabama), there’s no indication you’re at a gay club. Just look for the “Open” sign and march right in to find the hottest cruising in all of San Diego. Want to find a date? This is the place.

If you’re young and posing is your thing, head immediately to Bourbon Street in University Heights (4612 Park Blvd. at Madison). There’s something adorable about watching 22-yearolds trying to look cool. Okay, maybe it’s not so adorable, but this is the place to find it in any case. Regardless of what turns you on, this land of sunshine 300 days-a-year has a bit of it available somewhere or other. San Diego— guaranteed fun.