Whether under the influence or not, no one drives with the intention of killing another human being. But that’s what happened to Mario Careaga, who has been convicted for DUI manslaughter of Miami Heat dancer Nancy Lopez-Ruiz in 2010.

One controversy in Mr. Careaga’s case comes in accusations that one of the jurors who convicted him uttered a homophobic remark during the legal proceedings. If true, this would call into question whether Mr. Careaga was convicted for a crime or for being gay.

I completely understand the emotional aspect of having a friend or relative sentenced to a prison term for an “accidental” crime. The truth is that such a conviction punishes not only the accused, but all those who are close to him. It’s a difficult time for all who are close to the case, not the least of whom is the family of the victim. There are no “winners” in such a case.

Even though the evidence of jury prejudice presented by Mario Careaga’s attorney was not enough to convince Broward Circuit Judge Ilona M. Holmes to declare a mistrial, the objections to the conviction, particularly in the LGBT press, continue.

There is great truth in what Mario Careaga’s partner, who was in the car when the accident happened, told NBC News — “Bad things happen to good people.” Most of us who live in South Florida have been there. We have known someone, been close to someone who had to spend time in jail for a DUI conviction. Adding to the sense of tragedy is that, according to all who have known Mr. Careaga, he seems to be a “kind and decent man.”

While many people are heartbroken over this case, we all have an obligation to abide by the law. I’m also all too aware of those who are so against drinking and driving that they refuse to even meet me if they know another friend who has a DUI record will be in the same room. This supposed “accidental” crime is, to them, unforgiveable. In their minds, being a nice guy, or being gay, does not excuse anyone.

But forgiveness must come at some point. Not so much for the sake of the offender, but for those who are close to him, who also serve a sentence in a figurative sense.

Yes, the law is there to send a message of prevention. But the message of “don’t drink and drive” is least likely to get through to those who are easily affected by a small amount of alcohol in their system. In the case of my friend who ended up spending 30 days in jail on a DUI conviction, just a couple of beers was enough to totally alter his judgment and the way he acted. Mr. Careaga is reported to have had only two “drinks” on the day he killed Nancy Lopez-Ruiz. The operative word here is “only.”

It is important for us all to know our own limitations. How much is too much is the question we must constantly be asking ourselves. It is also this question that I had hoped Judge Holmes would have kept in mind at Mr. Careaga’s sentencing hearing this week. I see the need for justice, but I fail to see the benefit to society to have one more life destroyed by this incident.

But Judge Holmes seemed to have neither a sense of proper measure nor leniency, as so many prominent witnesses recommended on Mr. Careaga’s behalf. She sentenced him to the maximum allowed by law — 15 years. If Mr. Careaga were living in the State of Oklahoma, he would have gotten one year in prison as the maximum sentence allowed for the same conviction. If he had lived in Washington State, he could have gone to prison for the rest of his life. But even in that state, the average sentence for vehicular homicide is three years.

How is it that there is such a wide variety of penalties for the same act within the same country? One must conclude that it depends on the circumstances of each case. And what sets this case apart is that it is a high profile case.

And while we are on the subject, does it strike anyone as odd that Florida, which seems to have such an unforgiving sentencing for vehicular manslaughter, is the same state that has a special “Stand Your Ground” law to pre-excuse anyone who wants to shoot and kill somebody for real or imagined reasons? It seems to be a state with a very mixed-up value for human life.

What is barely essential in sentencing Mario Careaga, and hopefully in all cases, is not sympathy or even leniency, but a sense of fairness, balance and equality. Considering that we have had a First Lady in the White House, Laura Bush, who is also allegedly guilty of vehicular manslaughter, but never charged and never arrested (in fact, the records of her case have been expunged by the State of Texas), we may well ask, “Where is the justice?”

Photo of Laura Bush by Brigitte Lacomb