For some time now, two movie musicals gave me comfort and, simultaneously, a sense of horror. The musicals are “Gigi” and “Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.” What gives me comfort is obvious— the creativity, the beautiful melodies, etc. What horrified me were the plots and lyrics in a modern world context. I mean, if an old man were to walk through Central Park today singing “Thank Heaven for Little Girls” the way Maurice Chevalier walked down the Champs Elysées in “Gigi,” he’d be arrested. Watching the movie, we can’t get away from what the lyrics might mean in today’s loss-of-innocence context.
When I saw “Seven Brides for Seven Brothers” for the first time, my mind raced with questions about the plot. Even as a little child, I understood that there was something morally questionable about a plot that calls for kidnapping young girls and having them serve as wives against their will, beautifully told as it may have been in the musical genre.
Well, last week my sense of unease about this became justified. Turns out that three brothers (or was it only one?— the full truth is yet to be revealed) in Ohio had kidnapped three girls to serve as wives for the past ten years. To make matters worse, none of these alleged kidnappers looked like Howard Keel and it’s very unlikely they can dance to the choreography of Agnes DeMille. And it happened in Cleveland — not the beautifully scenic Northwest, where “Seven Brides for Seven Brothers” took place.
Then, this week, the Pentagon admitted to USA Today that a military officer overseeing sexual assault prevention in Fort Hood, Texas, has been relieved of his duties due to allegations of abusive sexual contact and forcing subordinates into prostitution. As it turns out, this was not the first case of an officer in charge of preventing sexual abuse in the military being caught committing the very abuse they are responsible for preventing.
I can think of no greater crime than taking away someone’s freedom and right to choose what to do with their body. Of course, there are those who actually like the abuse. As Zsa Zsa Gabor once said, “There is something about a man who hits you,” in describing her sexual turn-on for men who beat her up. If that’s your scene, I have nothing to say about it. But that is not the case for the majority of victims of sexual abuse and bondage. The Pentagon reports that, in a 2-year study, there have been some 26,000 unreported incidents of sexual assault in the military, and 3,374 cases that were reported. Of those, 25% refused to press charges. Of those who did press charges, only 238 resulted in convictions. Of the convictions, a significant number were overturned by superior officers.
One might think this is an issue related to women in the military. But as it turns out, the majority of cases of total assaults were those where the victim was a man. The vast majority of cases that were not reported or where the victim refused to press charges, were cases involving male on male abuse. Mind you, the majority of these incidents took place before “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” was repealed. So this is neither an issue that has to do with gays in the military. It’s an issue of one human being taking away another human being’s freedom. The high rate of unreported cases and has to do with the stigma faced by a man having been sexually assaulted by another man, and with fear of retribution.
But that doesn’t leave the gay community off the hook. There are plenty of cases of (often older) men who keep harems of young studs who put up with years of abuse because they have found themselves in a place of desperation. Sometimes, these cases are right under our nose. Sometimes, they exist across the street from where we live or work. And it doesn’t have to involve ropes or incarceration. Abuse and bondage is evident even when it is implied that the victim must perform sexual favors in order to keep their job, get a promotion, or stay out of jail. Sexual assault occurs when it is imposed on someone too young to be able to consent. We know about these cases and often joke about them, and we accept them as the norm of being gay.
On last week’s episode of “Mad Men,” Don Draper locks his mistress in a hotel room, taking all her clothes with him. He has new clothes delivered to her. But it’s not for going out. It’s for her to dress and undress exclusively for him. His idea is that she will never leave the hotel. She will exist in the room solely for his pleasure. Finally, the woman understands what is going on and brings the relationship to an end.
Even in the pre-women’s liberation of the early 20th Century Paris, Colette’s characters come to their senses and “Gigi” gets married to the man she loves, rather than live the life of a courtesan. In “Seven Brides for Seven Brothers,” created in the politically incorrect 1950s, Jane Powell convinces Howard Keel that the brides must be returned to their families. So too, in the gay world, we must change what we now consider to be “acceptable” relationships where one individual is taking advantage of another’s weakness to create state of abuse or bondage against their will.
