By ROBERT ELIAS DEATON

In case you’ve been living in a foxhole lately, things haven’t been going well for the LGBT community in North Carolina these days. First, the fair citizens of the 12th state in the Union decided to amend its constitution, declaring “marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this state.” Given that North Carolina already had a law on its books that prohibits same-sex marriage, it was a bit of overkill.

On top of that, a few days later, the pastor of the Providence Road Baptist Church in Maiden gave a sermon in which he advocated that lesbians and gays should be surrounded by an electrical fence and left to die off from natural attrition. The Providence Road Baptist Church (which happens to be located on Williams Street—figure that one out) is not to be confused with the Providence Baptist Church in Charlotte, whose own pastor went online to declare that in his church, they offer the “same grace, mercy and love to all people.”

The natural reaction of the LGBT community is to boycott the state, and that is precisely what you should not do. Just because they’ve given gays and lesbians a drop-kick to the gonads does not mean that there isn’t much to see and do in North Carolina.

The capital of Raleigh is known as the “City of Oaks”, and is linked with the neighboring Durham and Chapel Hill in a triangle that may not be gay, but is still very sweet. Beside the aforementioned oaks, there are over 150 incredible gardens, parks, and lakes. The most friendly and stylish hotel in town is the new Aloft (1001 S. Hamilton Rd) in Chapel Hill. With soaring ceilings, 42-inch flat screen TVs, and complimentary Internet wireless, there’s little not to like in this modern hotel run by the Starwood chain.

When it’s time to go clubbing, think of Flex (2 S. West St., Raleigh). The place requires a membership, but that’s taken care of with a $5 bill. It’s the kind of place that hangs a urinal on the wall, fills it with peanuts, and calls it class. No Southern Belles here. If you want something a bit more upscale, try Legends (330 W. Hargett St., Raleigh), with its live drag shows and top-notch DJs. Pecan sweet.

Across the state on the border with “South Caroline,” you’ll find the second largest financial center in the U.S., otherwise known as Charlotte.

It’s both the home of Bank of America and the east coast headquarters for Wells Fargo. Charlotte is nicknamed the “Queen City”—not because it’s so gay, but rather because it was named after Queen Charlotte of Mecklenburg-Strelitz, the wife of England’s King George III. Since few in town seem to know this fact, use it as an instant entre to all the best places.

Count among those: the Woodshed Lounge (4000 Queen City Dr.) where Thursday nights, the boys dress in boxer shorts to get happy hour prices on drinks (and show off their pale legs). Or better yet, try Petra’s Piano Bar & Cabaret (1919 Commonwealth Ave.), where you can sip Mint Julips between sing-alongs to Broadway anthems. They do things like that in the South.

The point of this chatter is that North Carolina needs to be experienced to be truly appreciated. It’s the same thing with gays and lesbians. Go—in droves. Once they get to know us, they might just like us. Even at the Providence Road Baptist Church.

Robert Elias Deaton is a world-traveling epicure who enjoys the finer things in life.