By AJ Cross

According to a recent survey of data
compiled from leading men’s magazines
such as Esquire, GQ, and Complex,
South Florida ranked in the top twenty
places with the “worst dressed men in
the country.” My guess would be that
this is due to the casual attitude men
here have, helped along by the high
temperature. I have to admit that after
reading the data, published by “Wire
Image,” we could definitely stand to
step up our wardrobe, boys. I have been
to New Year’s Eve events, weddings, and
funerals where men arrived in board
shorts and sandals: really?

Where have the black tuxedos gone?

Where are the pinstripes, bowties, and
suspenders? I think tha t there is a sad
trend that emphasizing “less is more”
when it comes to men—perhaps why so
many of us frequent Go-Go bars. I
personally love the mystique of a welldressed
man. The hottest thing about
Superman was that you had no clue
how hot he was as Clark Kent.

Fashion designer Tom Ford responded
to the survey by stating, “I think the
bottom line is that men simply have no
idea how to dress themselves. Even
YouTube gives demonstrations on how
to navigate your way around a bow
tie. There should be academies for
men’s fashion.”

Ask and you shall receive! Let me give
you some tips:

Tip#1: Pleated pants are out. The
trend is a clean, flat front pant with no
cuff and a modest break. The pant
should be just right in fit; not too snug
and not too full.

Tip#2: The belt and the shoes should
be in the same color spectrum. Black
shoes and a brown belt are NOT cute.

Tip#3: White still rules as the choice
of color for button-down shirts, but
it is BORING. Spice it up with a
light blue checkered shirt, or multi-color
bold pinstripe, or solid salmon or
micro-dot pattern.

Tip#4:“Formal” means tux or a suit
in the tux family. “Business casual”
means slim-fit khaki flat-front pant,
brown belt, clean shoe or loafer, and
slim-fit (European cut) button-down.
A man should look like a man.

Tip#5:If you want to wear sequins, satin
pants, a shirt you can barely breathe in,
or heels, then you might want to wait
till I write about trani-fashions.

Tip#6:Learn how to tie a bowtie.
There is nothing more pathetic than
a clip-on.

Tip#7: Know your tie knots and when
to wear them. According to W
Magazine the basic four are “Four
in Hand,” “Half Windsor,” “Windsor,”
and “Shell Knot.”

Tip#8: Vests are for guys who can’t
find a shirt that actually fits (or
lesbians), so unless the vest is part of a
three piece suit, donate it to Poverello
or Out of the Closet.

The bottom line is that there is
something sexy about a well-dressed
man, and about understanding the
current fashion trends. The ability to
know that you should be wearing a size
thirty-four jacket instead of a thirtyeight
will make all the difference
between looking like a stud and looking
like a dud. I hope that the next survey
finds South Florida men evolving into
the fashion leader.

AJ Cross

AJ CRoss is originally from
Montreal and has written the
“Cross Eyed” column for seven
years. He lives in Fort Lauderdale
where he serves as budget advisor
to the City Commission