By Alex Vaughn

Jamie Hubley 1996 – 2011

Jamie Hubley, a 15-year-old from Ottawa, Canada committed suicide on Saturday after writing openly about depression, bullying and self-harm on his blog. He has spent the past weeks writing heart-wrenching messages and posting disturbing images, all the while stating his treatment for depression was failing.

His blog, titled “You Can’t Break When You’re Already Broken,” is a sad memoir of the 10th grade student’s desperate pleas.
In a heartbreaking message posted prior to his death, he wrote: “I’m a casualty of love… I hit rock f****** bottom, fell through a crack, now I’m stuck.”

He had previously written: “I just want to feel special to someone.”

Stephanie Wheeler, a close friend of Hubley told the Ottawa Citizen: “From the outside, he looked like the happiest kid. He was always smiling and giving everybody hugs in the halls. I just remember him wanting a boyfriend so bad, he’d always ask me to find a boy for him. I think he wanted someone to love him for who he was.”

Hubley also posted his suicide note on his blog. He wrote of his love for musicians including Lady Gaga, Adele, Katy Perry and Christina Aguilera. The note also spoke of the pain from both bullying and depression.

“I’m tired of life, really. It’s so hard, I’m sorry, I can’t take it anymore,” his note read. “I don’t want my parents to think this is their fault, either. I love my mom and dad. It’s just too hard. I don’t want to wait three more years, this hurts too much.” The Kanata teenager also described how he hated being the only openly gay boy in his school.

His father Allan Hubley, a counselor for the Kanata South district of the city, wrote on his Twitter page after his son’s death: “Thank you to all the people sending us messages. Their love for Jamie will keep us going in our time of need.”

Hubley also told CBC News that his son was constantly bullied throughout elementary school and into high school.

He said the bullying began when Jamie was in Grade 7 and teens tried to stuff batteries down his throat on the school bus because he was a figure skater.

“[Jamie] was the kind of boy that loved everybody,” said Hubley, “He couldn’t understand why everyone would be so cruel to him about something as simple as skating. He just wanted someone to love him. That’s all. And what’s wrong with that? Why do people have to be cruel to our children when all they want to do is be loved?” said Hubley, speaking on the phone with the CBC’s Ashley Burke.

In high school, the relentless bullying was targeted to the fact that Jamie was openly gay.

The Ottawa-Carleton District School Board released a statement on Tuesday sending its condolences to the Hubley family. The statement also addressed the subject of bullying. “I couldn’t agree more about the importance of dealing with these issues. These are complex issues that we have to deal with as a community”, said Jennifer Adams, the board’s director of education.

The case of Jamie Hubley has highlighted the growing awareness of teen depression in Ottawa. He is part of a rash of teen suicides in the Ottawa Valley in 2010 that has forced the communities to design better strategies to address the issue, including identifying signs of depression earlier and removing the stigma surrounding mental health issues.

Jamie Hubley struggled with depression for a long time, his father said, but no matter how much his parents tried to help, the teen could not escape his sadness.

“I lost a beautiful, beautiful child that was going to make the world a better place. I’ve been involved in a lot of things in my community … but I couldn’t fix my own boy and that’s tearing me apart,” Allan Hubley said.

A Facebook page has been set up in Jamie’s honor, and his fellow students are planning a memorial performance at his school A.Y. Jackson Secondary.

Jamie Hubley’s tragic death comes as “Heroes” star Zachary Quinto revealed on his blog this past weekend that he was gay. His revelation was inspired by the suicide of another schoolboy, Jamey Rodemeyer, 14, who ended his life in September after being severely bullied because he was homosexual.

The actor wrote: “In light of Jamey’s death, it became clear to me in an instant that living a gay life without publicly acknowledging it is simply not enough to make any significant contribution to the immense work that lies ahead on the road to complete equality. Gay kids need to stop killing themselves because they are made to feel worthless by cruel and relentless bullying.”

The Daily Mail reported, “Suicide is the second-leading cause of death for Canadians between the ages of ten and 24 and disproportionately affects gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth.”