By AJ Cross

I love key lime pie. It is my favorite dessert of all time. The problem with having a favorite dessert is that there is no compensating for taste. Cost is not an issue when it comes to satisfying that particular craving.

The difficulty, however, is locating that one perfect slice. It has to be the perfect texture, temperature, crust, density and taste. I have regretfully eaten a key lime pie which was described and marketed as the “perfect” key lime pie. Unfortunately, it was anything but.

That sour, dry and mushy kind of pie left a horrible impression and was an insult to my taste buds.

Well finding the perfect piece of pie is not dissimilar to finding the perfect lover. Sure at first their look is right; their body is appealing and their smile, like the sign which reads “the perfect pie,” draws you in. Everything seems in order and then you close your eyes, open your mouth and take that first bite. Not quite what you had expected at all and you realize there is no reason to continue, and then that familiar taste of disappointment creeps in.

Then you realize what the mistake was; you went searching for perfection.  When you set out looking for something, it is rare that you find it. Usually it finds you. Even then, it is important to know  that perfection is not obtainable.  Everything comes short of our greatest expectations. The saying “you can’t love someone in slices” is appropriate for this week’s column. We must learn to be realistic and to understand that just as someone has to take good and bad together, we must extend them the same courtesy. You have to decide what the most important characteristics and traits are and hope that through  compromise and work that the rest falls into place.

You have to be true to yourself and your needs, yet also be sensitive to theirs.

That is the hardest balance to find in seeking a lover. So many people think that if the relationship takes work, then it is not meant to be. Why is that? If you work hard to be successful; work hard to be a good person; work hard to impress society, then why would something so important like finding a lover not be worthy of a little hard work?

Even when there are recipes out there for the perfect key lime pie, people still get it wrong. There is no recipe for the perfect relationship, and anyone who has been in one for any significant amount of time will tell you that there is no magic or instructions to give. It just takes a willingness to blend two different lives and personalities into one that is harmonious.

Don’t go chasing it. Don’t waste time putting yourself out there for someone that is simply an option to you, or worse, considers you one. Make a conscious decision about someone. Let more than looks, or popularity or their material trappings lean you toward pursuing someone. Be ready for all the would-be perfect pies and know that it will be when you least expect it that the perfect pie will present itself to you. When that happens, grab your fork and dig in.

I have had very good pie but I have yet to find the “perfect key lime pie.” I know with certainty though that it is out there and when I find it, I will take it on slice by slice.

AJ Cross