NEW YORK, NY – Fox News has called on parents not to let their children watch the upcoming season of “Dancing with the Stars” because Chaz Bono will be appearing on it.

Fox cited conservative doctor Dr. Keith Ablow, who said that the last thing vulnerable children and adolescents need as they wrestle with the normal process of establishing their identities, is to watch a captive crowd in a studio audience applaud on cue for someone whose identity culminated with the removal of her breasts, the injection of steroids and, perhaps one day soon, the fashioning of a make-shift phallus to replace her vagina.