By Drew Miller
I have had an incredible month since my last column. “Don’t Spread Negativity” has been remarkably well-received, based on all the feedback I have received from friends and colleagues. My life experiment of “21 Consecutive Days Without Negativity, Complaining and Gossip” has really been transforming. Today, I am on day (wait for it, wait for it…) two! Please don’t be alarmed. I feel fantastic about my continuing transformation. It is making a real difference in my life and the effects I am having on the relationships around me.
In my first column, I advised on “The art of networking is about building relationships and making connections”. Since the start of “21 Consecutive Days of Being Positive,” my working relationships have truly strengthened.
This column, along with my continued Facebook updates, has certainly helped. Acquaintances are reaching out, relaying how much they enjoyed my column and appreciate my honesty and vulnerability. Colleagues are noticing and commenting on how being positive appears to have made a difference. They are also sharing how my positive attitude is influencing them to be better individuals. This is a ripple effect I didn’t plan on. BEING positive has created stronger relationships and deeper connections in all aspects of my life.
Recently, a “future client” and I were sharing a discussion about being positive and his co-worker joined in inquiring about our topic. They are “Social Media Marketers,” so he told her about the column and to check out the updates on my Facebook page. She jumped in with excitement and expressed interest in reading up on my 21 days of positiveness. I felt a real connection and a strong working relationship was created. Then, my “future client” became my “current client” when they confirmed they will be joining the Gay and Lesbian Business Exchange (GLBX) at the Fort Lauderdale Chamber of Commerce.
Not only is it important to remain positive when your are out there selling your wares, but it’s important to remain positive when someone is selling to you. I have a friend who is a part owner in a restaurant. When I brought up his merchant account, he suggested I speak with his partner at the restaurant. On a day when I needed a sure thing deal, I decided to pay them a visit. The restaurant wasn’t busy when I arrived, which gave me a good opportunity to present my offer. I informed her who I was and that my friend, her partner, sent me to review their merchant account. She said “no we are all set” so abruptly that, well, it didn’t leave me empowered. I was surprised, since I thought my friend and I had a decent working relationship. I thought she would be interested in the same; instead our conversation was over before it started. I am sharing this story because I believe positivity goes a long way.
Some time ago, when I was appraising homes, I received an appraisal order from a real estate agent here in town. We were acquaintances and just getting to know each other. I completed the appraisal for his client and sent it over. A week or so went by and I got a call from the real estate agent wanting me to send the appraisal to him (by law it can only be emailed to the client). I was on the road and distracted when he called. Without looking into the matter, I assumed I emailed the report directly to the customer and informed the agent he couldn’t get it from me, he would have to get it from his client. This did not sit well with the agent, since he felt he ordered the appraisal. Later, after looking into where it was emailed, I realized the mistake I made.
However, the damage was done! Now, I network with that agent all the time and, sadly, have not received another appraisal from him. It’s important to remain positive even when you are not in the “best of moods or distracted”. You never know who you will be upsetting and how much you will have to work with them in the future.
On a personal note, in mid-June, my partner Kevin and I went on a 10-day vacation with 14 of his family members including his mother, two brothers, sister, spouses, nieces, nephews and significant others. Remember, this was right in the middle of our “21 days”. I have to say I was truly surprised and genuinely thrilled with the effect this had on our family vacation. Everyone welcomed the challenge and the results were surprising. On the flight back from Cost Rica (wonderful country, see my Facebook), my niece expressed how much our discussions on being positive really impacted her. She recognized in her own life where she could really create more positivity and find more enjoyment in both her work and personal life.
When I complete my “21 Days of Being Positive,” please know that doesn’t mean I will start being sarcastic, gossipy or snarky. I want people to see the person I am on the inside, without the negative humor that I have relied on. Sure, I might slip up now and then, but I am really thrilled with the person I am projecting now.
Hint: Social Media Marketing is an essential part of creating business. Facebook and LinkedIn are crucial when you are cultivating new clients. These avenues of connecting with colleagues will build and strengthen your relationships. Social media gives you the ability to get to know prospective clients on a more personal level. You never know, you might gain a friend.
Drew Miller is a business and networking consultant. He can be contacted at Drew@DrewMiller.biz.
