DEAR EDITOR,
I just finished reading your May 5 article on “Friends Without Benefits”. You are right on!! Thanks for writing the article.
IMO, friends either move here together, or people move here who already have friends living here. I moved here alone and had no friends here.  It’s very difficult to break into these pre-established friendship circles.

It didn’t take long after moving to FL from the Boston area to develop the very same perceptions in your article. I hang out mostly in coffee houses, not bars. But it’s the same story. I frequently end up having conversations with people I only see in the coffee house. It’s totally random when I’ll see anyone again. It could be months. Though they seem to enjoy talking with me, not one person has ever invited me to do anything outside of the coffee house. It makes no sense, that if two people enjoy talking with each other, that they can’t plan to meet and not wait for a random time when they’re both there.

So I tried swapping email addresses with one person and took the initiative to contact him. That lasted one email. If you ask for a phone number, that’s a real challenge to get someone interested. That means you’re hitting on him, and if you’re not his type, forget friends.

I totally agree with you that Florida attracts an unusual number of flaky people.  I would go one step further. You may not agree with this, but I think the outdoor playland culture here also attracts less intelligent people. I’ve lived in different places in the US. I’ve never met so many people who are less intelligent and less educated than anywhere else I’ve lived.

Educated doesn’t have to mean having a lot of degrees. By educated, I mean being able and interested in conversing on a wide variety of issues. But few people here care about issues. All they care about is: real estate, the gym, clubs and the beach. This doesn’t exactly attract your intellectual types. It’s no surprise that Broward County has the highest HIV rate among gay men in the US.

Lack of education and a carefree attitude account for that.

I believe Americans, in general, have become more selfish and self-absorbed. Gay men reflect the larger society. However, I do think that gay men in Florida are especially selfish and self-absorbed.

Sorry for the longer email. If you read this far, I thank you.

Best Wishes,
BARRY

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