Through Adversity to Blessings
Rajée Love is a Transgender Activist and a Motivational Speaker.
Rajee has, through dance, fashion, music and literature, expressed her creativity for a number of years. She danced as a regular dancer on Dance Party USA, hit the radio airways with her debut single “Stumble” and released three books.
You have become successful in the face of adversity; please tell Agenda readers your story.
From the age of 4, I felt like something was oddly different about me. At that age is when the kids in the neighborhood began to call me names like faggot and sissy. Throughout school they were relentless with bullying me; I was scared to tell my parents or my sister Kashmira because I felt very ashamed about it. In retrospect, my femininity was like the white elephant in the room. My father especially had a hard time with it and I remember feeling very scrutinized by him (before he passed away in 2004, he came to somewhat accept and he told that it didn’t matter anymore. That I am his child and he loved me.) From young, I felt a sexual energy from heterosexual men. In high school, I became quite popular due to my participation in a number of extracurricular activities, my extensive volunteer work with the American Red Cross and I was chosen as a regular dancer for the national TV show Dance Party USA. But there was always the stigma over me that I was a queerdo. I managed to graduate from high school and received the Humanitarian Award from the Philadelphia Federation of Teachers. Not able to deal with the scrutiny of my father anymore, I left home at the age of 21 and headed to South Florida. For some years I lived as an androgynous person and slowly my transgenderism came out on the physical. At that point I thought that my life had been extremely difficult but boy, did the road get harder.
You have had some very negative experiences when you started out, including some plastic surgery issues. Tell us some more about that.
About eight years ago, I was brutally beaten-up by some guys that targeted me for being transgender. Two black eyes, busted and bloody lip, my face swollen from physical blows of hatred and bigotry. They called me horrible names like freak! The names hurt almost as much as the punches! I was scared to go to the police for fear of being re-victimized. I went home.
Gut wrenching cries of hopelessness.
Feeling like I don’t have the strength to go on. I wanted to kill myself. As I lay in my pain with an ice pack on my face, suddenly I heard a voice. The voice was soft but sound. It said “balance my child.“ This wasn’t a dream – more an out of body experience that was extremely vivid and spectacular. That was the major turning point in my life!
Another very challenging time in my life was when I experienced a bad reaction to black market silicone I had gotten put in my face. I began to get tumor-like nodules on the left side of my face. I felt like I was beginning to look like the elephant woman. Black market silicone is commonly done in the Trans community; it’s a quick and relatively inexpensive way to feminization. But I’m realizing now often times not without a price. For about 13 years, I have been speaking at many venues around South Florida for the Yes Institute.
How did you come back from this?
By the grace of God! I’m blessed to have a mother that has always been in my corner. Even when she was not able to understand me being transgender, her love and support has always been a constant in my life. Also Dr. John J. Martin has been wonderful. He said because of all the work I do with Yes he wanted to help me. For a small cost he performed surgery on my face to remove the nodules.
How has your writing helped you?
I have a total of three books published. They are The Windows to My Soul (a collection of poetry), The Hand I Was Dealt (Transgender novel) and The Writing of a Demi God (writings on my spiritual journey). I have always loved expressing myself through creativity and writing has been one of the vehicles I have used to do that. I have always had the burning desire to connect with the souls of people and I’ve found that my writing has afforded me the opportunity to do that. It has also been therapy for me.
How do you feel general attitudes towards the gay community and transgendered issues are changing?
We have come a long way. I believe that because we are getting more credible exposure in the media, society isn’t as ignorant about gay and transgender people. Also, with gay and trans protection being added to the human rights ordinances around the country people are held more accountable for the treatment towards us.
Why do you think support of transgendered individuals is so far behind acceptance and support of the gay community?
I think it has a lot to do with the way we were being represented in the media. We are often mocked and I feel people think we have taken it too far. Every society has their gender rules. The way a woman should act and the way a man should act in that society. So, when you are someone caught in-between, it makes people very uncomfortable. I had family members ask me why I couldn’t have just been gay. All we are trying to do is match our body with our brains. Scientists have now found that during pregnancy the fetus brain develops as one gender and the body develops as the other. So, a baby is born with the brain and body not matching. Hence, Transgender people!
What advice would you offer young people who are coming out, or discovering who they really are?
When I was growing up, GLBT youth did not have the resources that are available to youth today. Because of the lack of support, I felt very alone. For GLBT people, that can be our worst enemy. I would recommend that young people try and find some sort of support group in their community. I would like young people to know that it is extremely important to live your authentic self. That there is a freedom in that, and I also want them to know that it gets better.
What do you enjoy about being part of the community here in South Florida?
I feel that there is truly a GLBT community here in Wilton Manors (South Florida). As a very noticeable transsexual woman, I don’t think I would do too well in somewhere like Mississippi. It’s so refreshing to see thriving GLBT people living and working together in a community. All of the gay businesses are also very refreshing. As a transgender woman, often times I am afraid to go in to certain areas of the city. With Wilton Manors, I feel safe to walk down the street.
What negativity do you find here?
I do still notice some divide within the GLBT community. I would love to see all the labelling stop and more unity. After all, whether you are Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual or Transgender, we are pretty much in the same boat. More unity is what our community needs. Actually, I would love to see that for the entire world. I wish that everyone would realize that the beauty of this world is the diversity of it. We are all like flowers in God’s beautiful garden. I think of myself like a sunflower. They are oddly shaped, but so bright and beautiful.
You have had strong support from some incredible people, including Mother Theresa and The Dalai Lama.
It gives me great joy to share my creativity with people. Through my writing, music and presentations, I believe that I am fulfilling with divine purpose. I felt extremely blessed when I was acknowledged by Mother Theresa and the Dalai Lama, as well as most recently the President and First Lady.
What is in store in the future for Rajee?
I intend to continue my advocacy and humanitarian work here in the GLBT community and the world as a whole. I would like to continue my speaking on a larger scale (possibly get signed with a Speakers Bureau) and get more acting roles in movies. After playing the principle role of Aunt Norma in the movie Bella Maddo, I have the acting bug. It would be nice to see more trans actors getting roles in movies. Bella Maddo was the first of its kind: An all transexual cast playing non-transsexual roles. Black actresses had to eventually stop just playing maids in order for us to now have actresses like Halle Berry and Angela Bassett. When I pass away, I would like to pass away knowing in my soul that I made a loving and positive difference in the universe!
Rajée lives in Fort Lauderdale where she is an activist for transgender world issues.
For information on her gender workshop presentations, contact the Yes Institute in Florida. Rajée also does a show on Youtube called T-Talk.