By Michael French

Though we are all very different, there’s one common thread which binds every single one of us. Every human being lived the first nine months of life, courtesy of their mother’s body, in the most secure environment they’ll ever know.

The vast majority of us in the GLBT community found a safe haven from an often judgmental world under the umbrella of our mother’s conditional love. The young woman, barely an adult herself, who gave me this wonderful life at the tender age of 21, was truly a mother to me in every sense of the word. Confidant, best friend, tutor, mentor and my most ardent advocate. She was a renaissance woman, way ahead of her time. Breast cancer survivor of 30 years, she went back to school at the age of 52 to be a legal secretary! Mom could lay down sod in the morning sporting jeans and curlers (remember those?). That same night, she’d don her pearls and a black dress for an evening out on the town, looking like a million bucks. She was my own Grace Kelly!

Among my close circle of friends, there’s only one whose mother lives in South Florida. For some of my friends, they can “visit” their Mom with prayers and warm memories. That’s the way I get to “see” my mother, who left this world four years ago. Just because my mother is deceased doesn’t stop me from wanting to celebrate her life and the infinite contributions her legacy continues to make to the life she gave me.

What better place to honor Mom than at home? I had this idea: Since none of my friends could be with their mom, we should have a Mother’s Day Party. Not that we need an excuse to have a party, but who better to celebrate than Mom? Each one of my friends made one of their mother’s favorite dishes. I asked everyone to bring a framed photo of them together with their mother to place by the dish on the buffet. The food was beyond delicious. We all expanded our pallets! I found out the favorite flower of my friends’ mothers and put them in a small vase on the table at each friend’s seat. The table was beautiful and a heartfelt tribute to all our mothers. At the table was an empty chair symbolizing all those who we wished could be there. It’s a tradition I began years ago. We all made or brought our mothers’ favorite beverage. Wow, there were several surprises! Those mavens of the 50’s tilted more than bridge club daquiris and punch! (They didn’t need vodka that cost sixty dollars a bottle either.)

During dessert we played “Stories”. Each of us told a funny story about our mother. It was great to reawaken and appreciate memories that may have grown misty under the shrouds of time. There was lots of laughter and some tears too, not from sadness, but the joy of remembering being loved.

There are other women in our lives who have been “Mothers” to us. My Aunt Marilyn, Mom’s sister, is that to me! I’m blessed! Whether we were lucky enough to have a grandmother, aunt, whoever she was, who nurtured our soul and made us feel loved, remember her on this Mother’s Day and thank her, every day!

So, all our mothers, wherever or whoever she might be, were there. They were at the table in a smiling photo, with the food they used to prepare for us with love, the flowers that brightened their eyes, the cocktails that made them silly, the stories we told and, most of all, within each of us. For it’s there, in our hearts, where our mother lives and will continue to live on.

Call your mother! When she’s gone, there will be a million times when you wish you could!

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY MOM!

Michael French, is Agenda’s Home from Home columnist. Contact Michael at mf7954fla@gmail.com