i was searching for gay-themed topics on google, when i saw a headline that went something like this: “does homosexual behavior in dogs tell me that i was born gay?”. now, i realize that to equate humans’ expansive understanding of life with dogs’ limited understanding is just a childlike thing to do (and makes google’s headline as moot a point as rick springfield telling jessie’s girl that he loves her), but it did get me thinking…

if we are told that homosexual behavior in dogs says that humans are born gay, it should be legal to hump my dog who humps my leg. let me explain: if people compare humans to dogs in an effort to justify their own sexual deviancy, then inter-species sexual behavior in dogs should justify that i was born an inter-species humper. it should suggest that my having sex with dogs should not be regarded as problematic. if dogs hump members of their own gender then they were born gay, it’s as simple as that. if dogs can be born gay, i was born gay also. and if dogs hump outside of their species, they were born to be inter-species humpers. if dogs can be born inter-species humpers, then people also can be. therefore, i was born an animal abuser and i should not be looked down upon when i hump dogs.

i can understand how the opposing (ahem, CONSERVATIVE) side would say that dogs are horny and that they don’t care what they hump. CONSERVATIVES would probably even relate this sexual apathy to homosexuals, blaming homosexuality on horniness as if we all lived in a single-gendered prison and had no other sexual options but to discover homosexuality within ourselves (and later maintain that we were BORN gay). the problem with conservatives (and heterosexuals not in prison) is that they just don’t understand the issues with self-esteem and gender-identity that homosexuals have. conservatives don’t understand what it’s like to see a discovery zone in members of their own gender, they only see a discovery zone in the opposite gender. they only stare in dumbfounded curiosity at naked members of the opposite sex, the conservative heterosexual (or any heterosexual) does not stare in dumbfounded curiosity at naked members of their own gender.

dare i say that heterosexuals are “straight” with themselves as legitimate members of their own gender, dare i say that the lack of curiosity that keeps heterosexual men from regarding other mens’ bodies as “discovery zones” results in a life void of gay sex. i used to play a game called “king’s quest” as a boy. i remember this quote: “The leprechauns revere the power of the four-leafed clover. With it in your possession they will leave you absolutely alone.” i remember the leprechauns in the presence of the clover, they were spellbound and were walking around aimlessly like they couldn’t make sense of anything around them. isn’t that what sexual attraction is – i know that i couldn’t speak to matthew muchnok (or any big and strong football player) without fumbling around like a stuttering retard who was spellbound. just yesterday, i was getting chiropractic with anthony manes dc and i realize now that i must’ve seemed like such a wide-eyed man-worshipper, gawking in anticipation as i was talking to him. i am in spellbound fantasy every time i am in the presence of a MANtasy…and why would anyone stick their hand up someone’s ass if they weren’t spellbound? i’m sure that poop is disgusting to at least 90% of people, why doesn’t poop keep people from being curious of “fisting”? it’s because the curiosity of gender (sexual fantasy) trumps both reality and (quite frankly) common sense. to further my point, i will bring up a parody of steve winwood’s “don’t you know what the night can do” that i wrote. i called it “don’t you know what’s inside a dude”. i’ve seen enough gay porn to know that sexual gratification is obtained from someone sticking their hand up someone’s ass, i’m sure that the gay “men” (i use quotes because gay males are really emotional masculivoids) know what’s “inside a dude,” but gays just don’t care about anything except for satisfying their curiosity. they get an emotional high from their own gender like it’s something they’re not acquainted with, they think they were all born to be as “inexplicably curious” as a dog…but dogs’ curiosity is not bound by gender, so i therefore can justify the aforementioned google headline as a “moot point”.

i have a mental image of “inexplicably curious” gays, it involves rainbow-colored question marks circulating around their heads 24 hours a day,

let me get back to my original point. if society is wholeheartedly going to accept the “born gay” panacea (placebos look legitimate and taste legitimate, but they have no active ingredients to justify their actual legitimacy), then they should just accept that i was BORN to be a dog-humper. and NOBODY should try to give me any kind of therapy to curb my dog. er, my appetite for dogs.

dylan terreri, i
sheldon cooper, ii
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Jim Mitchell’s argument that the chutes are in excellent condition and that the animals are well fed is appalling. Prisons are also in great condition and the inmates are well fed, but those conditions are not conducive to a life well lived. Have these animals committed a crime by being different?

Rodeos are, plain and simply, a public display of humans trying to convince the world that they are superior to the animals involved. To the evolved individual, it is an archaic and small minded display of decriminalized animal abuse.

To the rhetoric that rodeos are still allowed because no animal welfare laws are broken, one needs to take a closer look at the record of enforcing animal welfare laws. Crimes against animals are often times not prosecuted. Animal welfare laws do not include all animals and the laws are different for different species. These laws are reflections of discrimination based upon being different. Does this sound familiar?

Rodeos continue because they have traditionally been acceptable forms of entertainment. In recent years we have evolved quite rapidly. We have expanded our ideas of mercy and compassion. We have accepted the idea that we are not the world, but a part of the world. We are aware that our planet is not just ours, but theirs as well. Don’t you think it is time we take a look at all of the things we have traditionally accepted and review them from a fresh set of eyes? We are responsible for leading the way for change.

Imagine the leaps and bounds we would make if we set examples of kindness and compassion in all areas of our lives. As homosexuals, we know what it is liked to be viewed as less than and persecuted for our differences. Together, and with the help of other kind and compassionate individuals, we have made great strides in our cause. Don’t you think it is time to pay it forward and extend our helping hand to those who do not have a voice? They (animals) are just like us, only different.

I, for one, will never patronize a rodeo event or any other event that involves animals used for entertainment purposes.