ALEX VAUGHN
I am as guilty as anyone for hiding in my comfort zone; I still haven’t really left it. You would think coming to America would have done it, hardly, I have been coming to Florida a minimum of three times a year for nearly my entire 28 years on this earth! I drive in areas I know, I wear designers I like, eat food I trust, am not as adventurous in my travels as I used to be. I have no desire to fight much of the status quot. I like what I like that’s the end of it. Sure I could be open to new experiences as long as they are local, styled and fit within my boundaries of adventurous.
This weekend I took a cruise to the Bahamas. To many residents of Florida, a cruise is the norm; to me, this was definitely leaving my comfort zone. I don’t especially love boats, nor do I enjoy buffets.
On finding out their wifi was only available in one spot on the entire ship, inside, under the A/C and in a non-smoking area, you can but imagine the culture shock. I was undoubtedly out to sea, and out of my comfort zone.
It got me thinking, what is the comfort zone for the community? Well, the fact that in Florida there are groups and activities, restaurants, spas, shops and, of course the bars and clubs, would go a way to explain why so many gay people move here to be comfortable. Have we gotten so used to staying within the community that leaving it causes anxiety? Or worse, do we now see absolutely no need to leave it at all?
I asked some of my new found friends within the community their thoughts, and pretty much the consensus was, ‘we have everything we need here. Why go elsewhere?’
I was shocked. Gay people are supposed to be all accepting and yet, leaving Wilton Manors or South Beach or Key West or any of the other so called ‘gay’ parts of town seems far too daunting an experience to endure!
I have a friend who had a birthday party for one of his straight clients at the Hard Rock, he was beyond anxious. I thought he would have a fit. He couldn’t fathom not being in Wilton Manors on a Saturday night. The idea he would have to be himself without the safety net of the community was nearly too much for him. He questioned what he would wear, say, do – it was almost laughable. He is an accomplished and successful businessman, and the prospect of not being in gay town on a Saturday night turned him into a wreck!
Florida is one of the most quiet states in terms of political activity for gay rights. We have amazing groups but minimal activity in comparison to NYC, DC and San Fransisco. I couldn’t understand how this could be, given the fact that Wilton Manors has one of the biggest gay populations per capita in the entire world!
It has since dawned on me: It’s almost as if all the gays have been hoarded into areas like Key West and Wilton Manors. They have no desire to filter out of their bed of roses, and the straights are happy to let them stay there and pop in occasionally. They have become complacent.
Perhaps now it’s time to venture out, leave the comfort zone. It is not a horrid world out there, there are many bars and restaurants and an entire lifestyle out of the gay community. One of the best ways to enlighten opposition is not to tell them ‘we are the same and deserve the same’ but show them. There are places like the new Saia in the B Ocean, The W, multiple outlets for Trulucks, Blue Martini, and a smorgasbord of other venues in Florida that are not only gay friendly but, that are fun. They all have happy hours and a mixed crowd. Don’t you ever feel it would be good to be yourself out of the territory? To show what you have to offer?
We are all so different and yet the stereotypes still reign over people’s perceptions. Why not go out there and show people, and at the same time see something different, someone different. It really was no different to my first night on the cruise, without my wifi, and a questionable signal on my blackberry. As per my editorial last week I was lost. I went against all of my recent articles and hauled up in my cabin with some Gin and started typing out this opinion, all the while praying for the maritime connection so I could message my friends all over the world about the oddities I had witnessed.
By 9pm, I was bored of my own company and slightly tiddly, I had really no choice but to speak to people. Being in a bar that you can leave as soon as you get bored is considerably different to being on a boat on the way to Freeport. So, I decided to go and make some friends. I ended up having a blast that night, with a great couple from Tennessee, who felt exactly how I did. It made the whole trip more pleasant.
Take a trip you wouldn’t this week. Go to a bar you have never been, or a restaurant that isn’t within a mecca. Venture out of the sector and make a friend, enlighten someone about the community, whilst enlightening yourself.
Alex Vaughn is the Editor-in-Chief of the Florida Agenda. He can be reached at editor@FloridaAgenda.com
