Sam Knew, MSW

For many men society has dictated their roles in life. We take out the garbage, kill the big bugs and are handy with a hammer. As gay men, we have the additional responsibility of looking fabulous while doing so. Now, I know what some of you are thinking, “What’s a hammer?” Nonetheless, based on gender, we (and the world), see men in a certain stereotypical light. This limited view of males in our society has had its benefits historically; however, it has also created a perpetual state of denial, shame and injustice for some.

It is estimated that one in six men are victims of sexual assault (rape). White heterosexual males commit the majority of cases; however, perpetrators can include women, friends and social acquaintances. In some cases victims are drugged or taken advantage of while under the influence of alcohol. An estimated 12% of case victims are in the age range of 25 and older. And similar to other cases of sexual assault, “sexual desire nor sexual deprivation is the primary motivating force behind sexual assault. It is not about sexual gratification, but rather a sexual aggressor using somebody else as a means of expressing their own power and control,” according to the National Center for Victims of Crimes (NCVC).

Unfortunately, male victims are less likely to report cases of sexual assault. One major factor with male victims, especially heterosexual victims, is the fear of how they will be portrayed publically. One study found that people place more blame and have less sympathy for male victims. Those reactions magnify when the victim is a gay man. In addition, there is the misguided notion that men should be able to fend off any form of sexual assault, which leads to the perception that male victims secretly desire the attack. There is also the negative stigma that gay men are more sexually promiscuous and fantasize about sexual assault – which makes them willing participants.

More so, men (straight or gay) who are sexually assaulted may not consider themselves victims if they become sexually aroused during the attack. The NCVC reports that, “Since ejaculation is not always within conscious control, but rather an involuntary physiological reaction, rapists frequently succeed at getting their male victims to ejaculate.” For this reason, many victims blame themselves, which prevents them from reporting the crime – and seeking help. This misdirected blame may also be compounded with feelings of depression, sexual confusion and dysfunction, anger, guilt and suicide.

Survivors, more than anything, need support and justice. Communities and laws are rapidly gaining awareness and shedding light on this disturbing crime. More information and preventative measures are available through local police departments and/or community centers. Community centers, like our own The Pride Center at equality Park, will be holding an informational session in collaboration with the Wilton Manors Police Department on March 17th at 6pm. It is the goal of this meeting to provide the information necessary to help potential victims and help current victims become survivors.

Sam Knew, MSW is an educator and
local councelor. He can be reached
at SamKnewMSW@gmail.com