Alex Vaughn

Facebook announced last week that they had updated their systems to allow relationship status to include ‘Domestic Partnership’ and ‘Civil Union’. There is no question attitudes towards official gay partnerships are changing in the US. Every day there is a new debate into accepting ‘gay marriage’.

In England we have Civil Partnerships which afford same sex couples all of the rights of straight married couples. The difference is solely in the name. Marriage.

From what I see one major stumbling block here and globally for that matter, is the view that marriage is only possible in the eyes of God as a religious union between a man and woman. Now whether we agree with that or not, should the question really be what we call it or the rights at stake?

If Civil Partnerships were to be brought into the US in the same format they follow in the UK. Same sex partners will be afforded key rights; immigration, health benefits, inheritance, tax and many more. Surely it is better to achieve the rights then the official name of marriage.

Many activists claim we should have equal use of the word. Perhaps they are correct, but the cost of fighting this point is preventing the importance of same sex unions from coming to the fore. Obama has stated that he, ”supports full civil unions and federal rights for LGBT couples and opposes a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage” as well as saying, “I believe that marriage is the union between a man and a woman. For me as a Christian, it is a sacred union. You know, God is in the mix.” So by that very position he is fundamentally against the word ‘marriage’, not the union.

Let’s just take a moment to think here, if the biggest issue is the word… Change it. Once a Federal law is in place that allows a union, the foundation has been laid for continued change. Just this past week in the UK the government announced steps are being taken to allow Civil Partnerships to be blessed in houses of worship. The new laws do state that each house of worship can opt out if they choose. However this is all going in the right direction. Civil Partnerships were brought into the UK in 2005 so in six years we are already creating a dialogue with the religious sects, who are notoriously against same sex partnerships.

America has no reason to stumble and to not follow suit. More and more states are changing their position on the issue, however I am sure by dropping the word ‘ marriage’ we could speed it up. In fact public opinion to same sex unions has grown. An August, 2010 Associated Press poll found growing support for allowing same-sex marriage in the United States. 52% of respondents answered the federal government should give legal recognition to marriages between couples of the same sex (46% in 2009), 46% was against (53% in 2009). If we take into account that removing the word ‘Marriage’ would undoubtedly enhance the position, it really becomes evident that to raise more support the battle is really about one word.

How much signifance does that one word have? In Europe where civil partnerships are recognised the powers that be don’t call it marriage. Sure it would be nice if we could call it marriage, but in order to get the the rights, the party, the celebration and the union of love recognized, surely it is worth giving on that one issue. When you are in a bar or meeting new people, you can still call your partner your husband or wife, and in your eyes and legally they will be your official partner just like a heterosexual husband and wife.. The FBI won’t parachute out of the sky to arrest you for not referring to each other as civil partners. Elton John calls his civil partner, David his husband. I have met couples here in Florida who have no union or official stamp and have been together for 20 years refer to each other as husbands or wives.

Americas’ attitude to gay rights is generally on an upswing, with Don’t Ask Don’t Tell being repealed, and the country is slowly moving towards allowing couples to be joined. Now is the time to get creative, to push further. Take advantage of our growing support and take each milestone and continue to build upon it. As of 2010 Domestic partnerships are recognised in Miami Dade and Broward counties, so we have a benchmark to start deciding what additional rights we need to make that a full partnership. Think about some unique campaign ideas and put them out there. ‘No H8’, The California based campaign against Proposition 8 is coming to Fort Lauderdale in mid March. Go and have a picture taken. Photos feature subjects with duct tape over their mouths, symbolizing their voices being silenced by Prop 8 and similar legislation around the world, with “NOH8″ painted on one cheek in protest. I will be there and so should you to show that here in Florida we stand up l as one of the biggest Gay meccas in the world.

Drop ‘ Marriage’ out of the equation until we have the rights, then call it whatever you like, after all it will still smell as sweet.

Alex Vaughn, is the Editor in
Chief of the Florida Agenda.
Alex can be reached at
editor@FloridaAgenda.com