Helping Parents Help Their LGBT Children

(PHOTO: Frey family: Melanie, Jonathan, Mark and Alexa.)

by Bob Kecskemety

It’s a story that you hear about more and more in today’s enlightened era of MTV: a child comes out to his or her parents that they are gay or lesbian.

Unfortunately, too often you also hear that the reaction of the parents is to either put their child through homosexual “reparative therapy” or the family disowns the child and kicks them out of the house.

When Jonathan Frey, 18, came out to his parents two years ago, just the opposite happened, they accepted his homosexuality and formed a local organization to help other parents deal with their child’s sexuality.

“Even though we had unconditional love for Jonathan,” said Mark Frey, who, along with his wife Melanie founded Proud Parents of Lesbian and Gay Children (PPLGC), “it took two years to accept everything and step out with him.”

“Parents have to come out too,” added Melanie Frey, “and it takes them as much time for them to come out as it did their children. Maybe we can help them with that.”

Two years ago, the summer between his 10th and 11th grades at Northeast High School,

Jonathan came out to his father in an automobile ride. Suspecting, Jonathan’s father, Mark, asked his son if he had a girlfriend and Jonathan replied no, he hadn’t found the right girl yet. Mark then asked Jonathan if he was gay.

“I freaked out,” said Jonathan. “I wasn’t ready to tell him yet. So I denied it and told him ‘no’. About five minutes later I began to cry and he asked me what was wrong. I was flabbergasted that he would ask something like that and I told him that yes, I was gay.”

“I grabbed hold of him and we sat in the car and cried together,” added Mark. Mark then reassured Jonathan that he will always be his son.

Mark, a former Marine and football coach and his wife Melanie formerly in the Air Force have three children, Jonathan being the middle child.

“I was under the impression they would be very against it,” said Jonathan.

After two years of figuring out how to deal with their son’s homosexuality came up with the idea of PPLGC which they founded this past May. “We decided to move forward and are trying to do bigger and better things for the gay community,” said Mark.

Melanie added, “The reason why we wanted to start this is because there’s probably some other parents out there who don’t know what to do and are right on the edge of thinking, ‘well do I want to come out myself?’”

PPLGC currently holds monthly meetings at the Holy Angels Catholic Church, 2917 N.E. 6th Avenue in Wilton Manors. Soon, meetings will be held twice a month. There are currently 12 to 15 families active in PPLGC whose mission is protect children at all schools levels and help parents understand the struggles of LGBT children and to embrace the child for the wonderful young person they are.

The Freys are also active in Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) and SafeSchools.

For the first time, the Freys marched in last June’s gay pride parade on Wilton Drive. “My dad brought up the idea,” said Jonathan. “I was surprised at first.

I knew what to expect but I didn’t know if he knew what encompasses a gay pride parade or how to deal with it. We walked together and it was really rewarding to know that there are a lot of people that went crazy to see my dad and mom walking next to me.” The shirt Mark wore in the parade proclaimed, “What a great way to celebrate Father’s Day’.” They Freys were joined by other families and some members of PFLAG.

“You would be surprised how many people, when they read our banner, came out to us and congratulated us and shook our hands,” said Melanie. “We were there for Jonathan, it wasn’t about me, it wasn’t about my husband, it was all for him.”

“It was really fun and I was really interested in doing it,” said Frey’s youngest daughter Alexa, 17 who helps with PPLGC’s website and says she has several gay friends at Northeast High School.

“I feel like they went from 0 to 60 in like a day,” said Jonathan. “I’m excited and so happy that they feel good enough with themselves and they feel so much acceptance for me that they are willing to go beyond that to help other kids that are in school that could benefit.”

Last weekend, PPLGC held their first fundraiser which was held at Naked Grape Wine Bar and Gigi & Gavin’s Gourmet Chocolates & Coffee on Wilton Drive. The money is going to be used for scholarships and to raise awareness of the organization and its purpose.

“He’s my son,” concluded Melanie. “and it matters to me for him to have a better life and he knows that he can count on us.”

For more information on Proud Parents of Lesbian and Gay Children, visit.www.pplgc.org.