I walked into another spider web this morning and my dog got the Hershey squirts.

I was cuddling with a new guy this morning and had to go to work.

Great, all I have to look forward to a bunch of queens up and down Wilton Drive all weekend.

I thought you said you were a nice guy.  You turned out to be a real dick.  Really?  I should have known better just by looking at you.

I met the hottest guy at the gym the other day and he seemed like he was into me.  Of course he’s straight.  I guess he was just a nice guy.

Sometimes I just want to punch my co workers in the face.  Do they ever get the concept that I’m buys and they need to STFU.

I hate that I’m going bald.  It is so much more maintenance to shave my head every other day than it is to just get my hair cut.

Why is it that every time my bf cums he doesn’t give a shit about finishing me off?  I end up having to jerk off while he just lays there.  I need a FB.

All of these reality shows are getting on my nerves.  I am so tired of hearing what other sub-par celebrities do with their lives.

I had a massive hangover all weekend.  Why do I keep drinking my weekends away?  It feels like when Monday comes along I’ve had no weekend at all.

Nothing bugs me more than people who don’t drive AT LEAST the speed limit.  That is why so many people get into accidents.

I was on a date last night with a hot guy, but he kept interrupting me when I was trying to speak.  Did he think what he was saying was more important than me?

How can you screw me one night because you’re drunk and then totally diss me the next because you’re “straight” and you have something special with your girlfriend?

I’ve tried several time to run into you to get you to notice me.  You’ve already said I was sexy, so what exactly is the deal?

I know people say it all the time, but why are all of the good gay guys always taken? Why can’t I find that ONE person who is like me on every level?

If a cop pulls me over one more time for speeding I’m going to lose it.  There are so many other criminals out there who should be what the cops spend their time on.

The air in my apartment is not working correctly and I’ve been sleeping like shit the last few days.  I need to sleep for an entire day just to catch up.

Do you have a “Bitch” you want to submit?  Post it on the Mega Bitches facebook page and it just may end up in future edition of the Florida Agenda.