editorial

If the Catholic church is right, and we all know they don’t make mistakes, my goal should be to corral the vast majority of everyone reading or involved with this publication into a gas chamber and then deny the whole thing ever happened until long past the statue of criminal liability has expired. It seems some within the league of that great tradition known as Catholicism think all the molestation allegations, because anything with some thousand complaining victims is purely alleged, has some how got to be blamed on that great catch all problem known as homosexuality.

Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, the Vatican’s secretary of state, recently mentioned a study linking homosexuality to pedophilia. Bill Donohue, president of the Catholic League,helped argue that point using the recent scandal involving 200 deaf boys in Wisconsin. Because those who were making the molestation accusations awere postpubescent at the time of the alleged abuse, past the ages of 12-13 is Donohue’s definition of post-pubescent, it had to be because the priest was a gay man. To think for years the church could only determine he was a child molester. While he was worthy of a cover up to protect the Church’s image, they saw no need to remove him from his position. If only they had found his matching rainbow socks.

Personally, kids are out of my realm of interest due to all the screaming, pooping, and general time/responsibility requirements. Still everyone who isn’t a pedophile would agree with my thinking molesting children is beyond abhorrent. So Mark’s List readers, when cruising around town in my fully loaded party van, looking for love in all the wrong places, don’t expect me to put on the brakes if you happen to be crossing the street in front of me. Catholic Jesus gonna be extra proud.

What’s that you say? Everyone involved with this fantastic publication that lets me ramble on endlessly about how moronic the world seems to be about not accepting homosexual people isn’t a child molester? Are you telling me being gay has NOTHING to do with being a pedophile? Some of you are even loving parents to children. Holy schnikes Bat-Pope, alert the media! Tell the town crier! Put it on the front page – Pedophile ? Gay!

Would it hurt guys like Donohue to be more liberal in the sharing of whatever mind altering substances allow them to make such asinine statements. The blood of Catholic Jesus can’t produce that kind of mind modification alone can it? As someone who’s tried very hard to squeegee his third eye, Sunday morning mass should now occupy a place on my schedule. Maybe then my ignorance towards the blatantly obvious can be achieved.

Telling a man he can’t marry, or “play with the bishop”, is troubling enough. Putting him in an unsupervised position with lots of pubescent aged kids and not expecting any “issues” to occur despite the history of problems related to that situation is some level of altered consciousness that’s unbelievable given all the accusations of cover-ups. In my years of sniffing, snorting, smoking, and swallowing everything imaginable in a deluded quest to permanently transform my reality, golly gee whiz, that level of intoxication was never reached despite all my best efforts to get there.

If being gay really was the cause of pedophilia then why does the man with woman aspect that’s so important to the marriage issue occur frequently with child molestation too? Seems like if it was “strictly a gay issue”, To Catch a Predator wouldn’t have needed to alternate between boys and girls to lure in sexual predators – it would have been completely one sided. That Catholic priest in Chile wouldn’t have gotten an underage teenage girl pregnant if he was gay would he? Checking the latest statistics, gay men still aren’t into knocking up teenage girls. Could that be the bridge for the Catholic Church softening their stance on homosexuals? Gay men across the universe, you have your new mission. Good luck.

As the cover up aspect in Wisconsin grows deeper, my thoughts linger towards if the Church can fathom why people and the media are going on the attack over this incident. Years of lying, hiding, denying, and deceiving aren’t good PR moves when that’s sounds like the exact opposite of how the product your pushing on the world says you should be acting. Pretty sure those traits violate a few of that top ten no-no’s list too. Maybe those three fingers pointing back from the blame one aren’t so far off the mark after all.

John Sklba is a graphic designer who lives in Plantation. John has spent time in Detroit, Saginaw and Atlanta. He can be reached at Dmitryr@jumponmarkslist.com