Consistently colossal jerks claim victory over Constance JOHN SKLBA
A day or two after Columbine, my high school’s administration pegged me as school shooter candidate number uno and I don’t think it was a coincidence I was suspended shortly after. Truthfully, I was amused by their assessment more than anything else. Violent teenage nerd revenge fantasies on social hierarchies promoting jockocracy and social normalcy are too time consuming to plan when pot smoking and skirt chasing are waffling back and forth in a battle for which I should spend more time pursuing.
At both my Junior and Senior proms pot won the fight and I showed up stoned to the bone and left early because throwing a monkey wrench at people playing dress up to impress each other becomes boring quickly and frankly, I didn’t care for most those people anyways. Still, administration let me in. The guy only a short time earlier they assumed was most likely inclined to go postal on his fellow students. Without so much as a peep of protest or any concern, I strolled hazily into their fancy dancy ball. Maybe it was because I failed to show up in a wedding dress. I couldn’t find one that fit me, but I confess to not looking too hard the weeks prior to both proms. Maybe if I had they would have kept me out.
As far as I can tell, Constance McMillen was never suspected of being a school shooter. She seems like your average teenage girl with a pretty high GPA. The only oddity we know about her stems from figuring out she liked girls more than boys in eighth grade and the consequences that it would have on her life. That characteristic came in play during
prom season a few years later. Constance decided she wanted to go to prom with her girlfriend while wearing a tuxedo. Thinking it is better to ask permission than violate rules, Constance asks her principal if she could bring her girlfriend
since same sex couples aren’t allowed at the prom. It probably would have been easier getting approval to molest 200
deaf boys.
Instead of letting in one gay couple to enjoy the prom festivities, school administration decided no prom for anyone. Now I’m sure this will get me some hate mail, but I think what the administration did was fair all things considered. Instead of discriminating, everyone gets screwed equally. That is about as fair of a deal you can get when people refuse tolerance. So yippee skippy, everyone loses because letting one lesbian couple into prom was going to incite a riot that would have made the inspiration for Mississippi Burning look like an episode of Teletubbies in comparison.
After the internet caught wind of the story though, Constance becomes a bit of a folk hero and made numerous media appearances spreading her plight internationally. The highlight here is the scholarship Tonic.com raised for Constance to basically go study anything her lesbian loving heart desires. This makes me smile for a young lady who I hope uses this situation to make a difference in the world because we know in Mississippi things aren’t changing.
While the rest of the world seemingly offered itself on a silver platter to Constance, parents at Itawamba Agricultural High School figured they had to put one over on Constance and score some sort of epic win over a 17- year-old girl who just wanted to go to prom like all the other kids. They accomplished their goal in a grand luxurious
style. In doing so they proved just how pathetic and juvenile they truly are.
Mississippi has a long and loving history with all things involving segregation. Some of the local parents decided they needed to continue this time honored Mississippi tradition by throwing two private proms. One for basically everyone not named Constance McMillen, and one for Constance McMillen, her date, and five other students. I congratulate these parents on their amazing wisdom. You gave your kids a night of over-priced worn once outfits, probable drunken sex, and pictures we all tend to look back on and regret all while openly promoting intolerance. Constance, on the other hand, is pretty much going to get the chance to do whatever she wants in life thanks to you and the school administration being jerks. Good job.
John Sklba is a graphic designer who lives in Plantation. John has spent time in Detroit, Saginaw and Atlanta. He
can be reached at Dmitryr@jumponmarkslist.com
