Florida Agenda

By Bob Kecskemety

Part 1 of a Multi-Part Series

Aragon Inn
2520 N.E. 6 Avenue, Wilton Manors, FL 33305  (954) 566-2900

Just one block’s walking distance from the heart of Wilton Drive’s clubs, restaurants, shopping, and more. This 10-unit boutique resort features deluxe king or queen suites, with poolside suites enjoying their own pool “casitas.” Amenities include two salt water, clothing-optional swimming pools, water volleyball, continental breakfast, WiFi, breakfast room, private courtyard, and lush, tropical gardens.
The Aragon plays host for many big LGBT community events, including the annual spring Gay Rodeo. Room prices range from around $89 per night to $249 per night, depending on accommodations availability and the time of year.

Cabanas Guesthouse and Spa
2209 N.E. 26 Street, Wilton Manors, FL 33305 – (954) 564-7764
A special blend of fun and sophistication, the Cabanas Guesthouse and Spa is a centrally-located gay hotel in Wilton Manors, just minutes away from the shopping, dining, entertainment, and nightlife of both Wilton Manors and Fort Lauderdale, and within a few miles of the beauty of the Atlantic Ocean beaches.

The rooms at the Cabanas range from the Queen Standard ($129 – $169) to the two-bedroom, two-bath, and 1,000 sq. ft. Grand Suite ($289 – $395), which occupies the entire top floor and is popular for four or more people who are traveling together. All rooms include a coffee bar, refrigerator, flat-panel TV/DVD combo, and air conditioning. Some rooms also include a microwave, stove, full kitchens, and are located waterside. The property is pet-friendly. All guests receive complimentary expanded continental breakfast and free wireless internet.

The Cabanas includes two swimming pools and a whirlpool. The property also has a full-service men’s spa, which includes manicures, pedicures facials and massages. The spa is a favorite of both locals and guests.

Coconut Cove Guesthouse
3012 Granada Street, Ft. Lauderdale Beach, 33304 – 954-523-3226

Built in 1939, the lush courtyard is easily overlooked from the Coconut Cove Guesthouse’s plantation-style wooden verandas and louvered doors that open from each of the spacious guest rooms. The savvy gay traveler will appreciate the Coconut Cove’s modern amenities, including WiFi wireless computer connections, VCRs, efficiency or full kitchens, and full modern bathrooms. Continental breakfast is included. The Coconut Cove is located just a half block from Fort Lauderdale’s Sebastian Street gay beach, and is 30 minutes from the internationally-famous nude beach at Haulover Park.

The hotel also has a Jacuzzi, pool, and clothing-optional area, all just minutes from the gay shops, bars and restaurants of Wilton Manors.

Rates for the Standard Queen room are $89 to $169 per night, $169 to $289 per night for the Penthouse Suite, depending on the time of year. There are seven additional intermediate categories. Depending on room category, amenities include non-smoking rooms, air-conditioning, WiFi wireless computer connections, custom-made king and queen beds with 16” pillow top mattresses, full bathrooms, efficiency or full kitchens, daily maid service, and TVs with DVD players. Enjoy your morning newspaper and extensive continental breakfast either on the veranda or the deck bar.

Elysium Resort
552 N. Birch Road, Fort Lauderdale, FL -(954) 564-9601

The Elysium Resort is located one block from the Atlantic Ocean on Fort Lauderdale Beach. It offers spacious studios and suites, detailed amenities, and a relaxed Florida atmosphere that’s set amongst lush tropical foliage. Along with close proximity to the beaches, the Elysium is near shopping on Las Olas Boulevard, the Fort Lauderdale Museum of Art, and historic Himmarshee Village, the home of Old Town Fort Lauderdale. You are also minutes from the Wilton Manors gay district as well as Riverwalk in downtown Fort Lauderdale.

The basic guest room runs from $109 to $155 per night. Rates for a suite are $149 to $215 per night depending on room category and season. Amenities include a secure enclosed property with a lush tropical setting that’s located 180 yards to the beach, spacious studios and suites, private bathrooms, kitchenettes and kitchens, daily maid service, complementary local calls, complementary wireless internet access, pet-friendly rooms, guest laundry facilities, continental breakfast, private rooftop sundeck, complementary guest parking, beach chairs and umbrellas, suntan lotions, barbeque grilling station, and a DVD library.

The Flamingo Inn Amongst the Flowers
2727 Terramar Street, Fort Lauderdale, FL  33304  (954) 561-4658

The Flamingo Inn Amongst the Flowers is an intimate, European-style boutique hotel on Fort Lauderdale Beach. Guests find uncommonly generous furnishings, lush tropical landscaping, a sparkling pool and unparalleled amenities.

Rooms range from the Courtyard Room ($150 to $189 per night) to The English Suite ($275 to 370 per night) with five additional categories in between. Amenities at this five-star resort include Aveda spa products, LCD flat screen televisions, luxury linens, an award-winning décor, and friendly, personalized service. At The Flamingo, the entire complex is equipped with complimentary high-speed wireless internet access. Beds are turned down every evening, the continental breakfast is served every morning, and a complimentary happy hour is served every day with a full liquor bar. Free parking is available for all guests, and the office extends full concierge services to facilitate dinner reservations, gym requests, tour bookings, car rentals, etc., all with an eye to making each stay a memorable one.

The Grand Resort and Spa
539 N. Birch Road, Fort Lauderdale, FL 33304 – (954) 647-3822

The Grand Resort and Spa is one of Fort Lauderdale Beach’s largest and finest gay-owned and operated men’s resort hotel, located just steps from the beach and convenient to all the attractions and nightlife for which Fort Lauderdale is world-renowned.

Their standard of contemporary luxury rivals that found in today’s most popular boutique hotels. What sets The Grand apart is the genuine hospitality of their staff, and the personal attention to theirguests’ desires, like that found in smaller guesthouses.

As Fort Lauderdale’s first gay resort with its own full-service day spa and hair studio, they offer their guests an experience that is both unique and indulgent. From a relaxing Swedish massage, to a haircut before your night on the town, they can accommodate all your needs.

Their spacious, meticulously clean accommodations feature cable TV, VCRs, DVDs, hi-fi CD music systems, voice mail, irons and ironing boards, safes, hairdryer, refrigerators, gourmet pantry, microwave, and coffeemaker. Wireless internet access is available throughout.

Accommodations range from the standard Courtyard Guest Room, one king or two queen beds with private bath and walk-in shower, to The Grand Penthouse, a secluded three-room suite with a great room, gourmet open kitchen, four burner glass cook top, microwave, refrigerator (stocked with refreshments and gourmet snacks), coffee maker, and dining bar. The great room opens to an outdoor living room and private sun deck.

Rates range from $150 to $450 a night during high season, to as low as $105 to $350 a night, depending on the room selection.

La Casa Del Mar
3003 Granada Street, Fort Lauderdale, FL 33304 – (954) 467-2037

La Casa Del Mar is located on Fort Lauderdale Beach and is a one-minute walk to the Atlantic Ocean. It offers warm, European hospitality and personalized service. Many guests of La Casa Del Mar are repeat customers who have returned year after year.

Rates for a One King with kitchenette range from $95 to $149 per night. For a deluxe attached room, the price runs from $179 to $242 per night, depending on the season. There are a total of five room categories. Amenities include cable TV with DVD player, kitchenette with each room, folding beach chairs, free local telephone calls, guest computers with internet access, completely renovated rooms, DSL/WiFi access in each room, complimentary parking, DVD library, daily maid service, private bathroom with each room, and a location that’s close to the renowned shopping on Las Olas Boulevard, as well as the Galleria Mall. Guests of La Casa Del Mar may also enjoy the wonderful amenities of their sister property, The Granada Inn.

Manor Inn
2408 N.E. 6 Avenue, Wilton Manors, FL 33305 – (954) 566-8223

This Key West-style guesthouse is located just 250 yards from the heart of Wilton Manors, within striking range of bars, clubs, restaurants, shopping, and more. Manor Inn offers the utmost in privacy, with all visitors required to enter through the back of the property, and each room having a private entrance. This is a non-smoking property, both inside and out.

Room rates run $75 or less during off-season, with seasonal rates around $125 per night, and featuring a continental breakfast, coffee makers, microwaves, music systems, outdoor screened seating area, a swimming pool, and whirlpool.

Pineapple Point Guesthouse and Resort
315 N.E. 16 Terrace, Fort Lauderdale, FL 33301 – (954) 527-0094

Well known as the an exquisite gay men’s guesthouse and resort for more than a decade, Pineapple Point is the choice for gay men from all over to escape and relax. This luxury gay resort is one the largest properties in Greater Fort Lauderdale. Pineapple Point is comprised of six unique buildings, and is set on more than two acres that comprise a very private and lush, clothing-optional, tropical paradise–a cozy guesthouse with dozens of palm trees, deck pathways, and a maze of buildings that is fun to navigate. The rooms are decadent, with fantastic linens, fancy soaps, cable TV and free high-speed internet.

The service at Pineapple Point is second to none, as are the services, beginning with their friendly, superbly-trained staff renowned for unparalleled customer service. Amenities include wireless internet, shaded hammocks, on-site, well-equipped gym, lap pool, two Jacuzzis, massage studios, sun decks, and clothing-optional swimming pools. Continental breakfast is served daily, along with snacks, lemonade, bottled water, popsicles, and refreshing cold face towels. In addition, complimentary sun tan lotions, beach chairs, umbrellas, towels, and bikes are provided.
An evening happy hour replete with cheese and crackers, beer and wine completes a perfect day—all served complimentary, of course. During high season, guests are welcomed with a bottle of champagne and a free barbeque every Saturday.

All rooms are non-smoking, but smoking is permitted outside of the guest rooms. There are five room categories, starting with the standard Deluxe King through the ultimate Grand Villa. Room rates are $199 to $499 a night for off-season, $289 to $679 a night during high season.

Schubert Resort
855 N.E. 20 Avenue, Fort Lauderdale, FL 33304 – (954) 763-7434

The Schubert is a large, all-male, clothing-optional private resort located in Fort Lauderdale’s Gateway/Victoria Park section. The resort is just four blocks from the Galleria Mall, which offers some of South Florida’s finest restaurants and shopping, including Dillard’s, Macy’s, Neiman Marcus, Saks Fifth Avenue, Abercrombie & Fitch and Godiva Chocolatier.

Since 1948, The Schubert has served as the location for several Hollywood movie productions, among them “Another Gay Movie: Gays Gone Wild.” Famous names are not unfamiliar to the Schubert guest list: some have included Brent Barrett, puppeteer Jerry Halliday, “Brady Bunch” mom Florence Henderson, Harvey Fierstein, and Holly Farris.

Having recently undergone a $2.5-million renovation, The Schubert continues to sport a retro look, charm, and style. The one-acre tropical grounds are completely enclosed, making sunning “au natural” by the pool and 10-person Jacuzzi.

Accommodations include the King Size standard room, King Suite, and Plaza Suite. Rates range from $105 to $225 a night, depending on the size of the room and the time of year.
Amenities includes king-sized bed, wet bar in rooms, flat panel television, desk, bathrobes, pool towels, iron and ironing board, clock radio, heated pool, Jacuzzi, sun decks, extended continental breakfast, computer station with printer, guest laundry facilities, WiFi, DVD players and library, a large covered courtyard, and catering for special events. Some rooms also include a private courtyard and sofa.

By Bob Kecskemety

Pride Pharmacy and Midland Medical in Fort Lauderdale pride themselves on providing a one-stop location dedicated to your good health. Midland Medical specializes in men’s health, including diagnostics with on-site labs, and HIV specialties, in addition to being AAHIVM-certified.

Pride Pharmacy is a specialty pharmacy that also provides free delivery to its customers. Co-owners Greg West and Steven Levin hope local residents will find all the medical services they need under one, convenient roof at 2701 E Oakland Park Boulevard, sharing the same strip mall as Lips Cabaret.

West is a co-owner, but he does more than just sit behind a desk. He also helps out in the pharmacy and works as patient liaison and advocate. “If anybody has a problem,” West said, “they come to me and I try to straighten out their problems.” West  also has been known to deliver prescriptions to customers.

West noted that Pride Pharmacy is not 100% gay-owned and operated: there is a mix of gay and straight principals. “But with a name like ‘Pride Pharmacy’, we would have to be very gay-friendly,” he added.

The price of prescription drugs is always of concern to customer, and West says that he and staff are sensitive to economic realities, and make every effort to keep prices for prescription medications as low as possible. “We’re here to help the community,” said West. “We are very much aware of other pharmacies’ prices on meds, and are very competitively priced. You won’t find medications priced higher here, and we will try everything we can to be less.”

West said that Pride Pharmacy uses co-pay cards to cover a patient’s co-pay drug expenses. This could save customers potentially hundreds of dollars a month. Some save as much as four or five hundred dollars monthly. West explained that by not being a chain pharmacy, they have the flexibility to adjust without corporate oversight from hundreds of miles away.

Through the door in the waiting area of Pride Medical is Midland Medical, a state-of-the-art medical clinic with the ability to serve most patients’ examination needs. Midland is a one-stop clinic for diagnostic, medical, lab, and chiropractic services, as well as immunizations, prosthetics, boosters, Botox, and much more.

“The one thing I really love about Midland Medical,” said West, “is the personalized service. The doctors actually know
your name.”

West explained that Midland is not an assembly line doctor’s office. Patients will experience a different approach to their medical needs. “This is not the sort of practice where you take a number, have a seat, be directed to the first room, and spend five minutes with a nurse, be directed to a second room, wait another ten minutes with a nurse, then be directed to the third
room where you actually see a doctor for about two minutes.”

“We are compassionate with our patients,” said Anetha Jones, the practice’s head medical assistant. “We personally sit down and consult with our patients. Sometimes we feed them, or bring them food, whatever it takes to make our patients happy and healthy.”

At Midland, West said, patients are seen by a doctor in a straightforward manner, and given their diagnosis “in plain English, not ‘doctor-eze,’ so the patient understands what the doctor is saying without a lot of medical jargon,” West added.

Trudy Zengler, Midland’s office manager, said that Midland is the most caring medical facility she has ever seen. “Everybody  here really cares about the patients. The patients are family,” she said. “I think we put forth the effort to make sure our patients are taken care of and provide the best  care we can.”

Zengler has firsthand knowledge of Midland’s care and practices from an outsider’s perspective. Prior to her employment, she owned a medical billing company, which gave her the opportunity to interface with the operations of many medical facilities, and Midland was a client of Zengler’s company. That changed in 2009 when Zengler was hired to work at Midland.

Zengler and the rest of the staff are well acquainted with West’s mantra about customer service. “Customer service is our top priority at both Pride Pharmacy and Midland Medical,” said West. “We are not your typical pharmacy. We are not your typical doctor’s office. We also have a very high ratio of keeping people healthy and
out of the hospital.”

West explained that recently he spent four hours helping a patient navigate his way through some insurance-related matters. The patient was talked out of his previous insurance plan by the insurance company’s representative. But his new insurance plan didn’t cover the cost of medication. The patient’s medicine bill was close to $3,000 a month.

“He couldn’t afford that. Who can?” sympathized West. “It took about four hours, but we got him back on his original insurance policy. We go out of our way to help people.”

Pride Pharmacy has been open for three years, and has Monday through Saturday business hours. Midland Medical has  been in operation for almost six years, and
is currently open from Tuesday through Saturday.

By Bob Kecskemety

Photo:“Modern Family’ Image Courtesy ABC.com

WORCESTER, MA – Gay parents “tend to be more motivated, more committed than heterosexual parents on average, because they chose to be parents,” says Abbie Goldberg, research psychologist at Clark University in Massachusetts, who studies gay and lesbian parenting. According to Goldberg, gays and lesbians rarely become parents by accident, compared with an almost 50 percent accidental pregnancy rate among heterosexuals. “That translates to greater commitment on average and more involvement,” added Goldberg.

According to Live Science, research indicates that while kids of gay parents show few differences in achievement, mental health, social functioning, and other measures, these kids may have the advantage of open-mindedness, tolerance, and role models for equitable relationships. Gays and lesbians are also more likely to provide homes for difficult-to-place children in the foster system. Research suggests that gays and lesbians are more likely than heterosexuals to adopt older, special-needs, and minority children. Preference may partly account for that, and may partly be founded upon discrimination by adoption agencies that put  more difficult children with “less desirable”—in the opinion of caseworkers–parents. Furthermore, the research has shown that the kids of same-sex couples–both adopted and biological kids–fare no worse than the kids  of straight couples in terms of mental health, social functioning, school performance, and a variety of other life-success measures.

By Bob Kecskemety

Photo: Craig Lowe of Gainsville, FL (right) and Annise Parker of Houston, TX (lower) are among the “Mayors for Freedom to Marry”. Both Lowe and Parker share the distinction of being the first known-gay Mayors of their regions.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – More than 80 mayors of U.S. cities in 25 states have formed a coalition to support marriage equality. The group, “Mayors for Freedom to Marry,” was formed last weekend at the U.S. Conference of Mayors in conjunction with the LGBT right group Freedom to Marry. The coalition is chaired by some of America’s most visible municipal chief executives: Mayor Michael Bloomberg of New York City, Mayor Thomas Menino of Boston, Mayor Jerry Sanders of San Diego, Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa of Los Angeles, and Mayor Annise Parker of Houston, who is openly gay. Mayors for Freedom to Marry have called for the repeal of the federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), and the ratification of the pro-marriage equality Respect of Marriage Act.

In the signing statement, the founding mayors wrote: “We are a diverse group of mayors –from small cities in Indiana and Maine, to the four largest cities in America. Our cities are culturally, racially, and geographically diverse, but we share one important value: a common commitment to fairness. We invite our colleagues to join us in signing this statement as we advocate for the freedom to marry and build a nation where all loving couples who want to make the life-long commitment can share in the joy and respect of marriage.”

Among the mayors who signed the Mayors for Freedom to Marry statement, six are from Florida: Craig Lowe (Gainesville), Joy Cooper (Hallandale Beach), Craig Cates (Key West), Lori Moseley (Miramar), Frank Ortis (Pembroke Pines), and Jeri Muoio (West Palm Beach). No mayor of a major metropolitan area of Florida signed the statement,
and none serves in a Miami-Dade County municipality.

PHOTO:  ED SCHIPUL flickr.com/eschipul

By Bob Kecskemety

VENTURA COUNTY, CA – A 14-year-old Girl Scout has reportedly joined with parents and Scout alumni to call for a boycott of the widely-popular Girl Scout cookies, claiming the organization is using cookie proceeds to push a radical homosexual agenda at the expense of the Scouts’ safety.

The girl, identified as “Taylor from Ventura County, California,” but whose parents have asked her last name and troop number be withheld, made a YouTube video calling for the boycott after she learned that Girl Scouts U.S.A. has been admitting boys who claim to be transgender girls into scout troops.

“Transgender Girl Scouts = Boys Who Wish They Were Girls,” the video touts in bold faced type.

The video was released by a Houston-based group made up of Girl Scout volunteers called the “Honest Girl Scouts.”

Sometime after the Washington Post reposted Taylor’s video on their website, Taylor made her YouTube account “private”.
A spokesperson for the Girl Scouts released a statement saying that the Scouts accept all girls in kindergarten through 12th grade as members. “If a child identifies as a girl and the child’s family presents her as a girl, she is welcomed as a Girl Scout,” the statement read.

Spokeswoman Michelle Tompkins re-affirmed that the proceeds from Girl Scout Cookies, as always, ““stay in the local market and are used to fund programs for girls,” in an email to the Washington Post.

By Rory Barbarossa & Bob Kecskemety

Photo: L-R:  Senator Ed Murray (D), Governor Christine Gregoire (D), and Senate Majority Leader Lisa Brown (D) All Support Same-Sex Marriage Legislation for Washington.

OLYMPIA, WA Last week, the state’s top lawmakers were divided over what priority to give the same-sex marriage debate at a time Washington is facing a budget crisis. Republican leaders threatened to bring budget talks to a standstill if Democrats insist on making a stand on “social issues.”

State Senate Republican Leader Mike Hewitt told the annual Associated Press Legislative Preview on Jan. 5 that the legislature’s time would be best occupied with matters other than same-sex marriage. “This is not the session for social reforms,” Hewitt told reporters. “The last thing we need to do is be down here in turmoil over social issues.”

Hewitt also took a swipe at fellow Washington state lawmaker Ed Murray, who is gay and a leading supporter of gay marriage legislation. Hewitt accused him of being too close to the issue to be objective, saying that Murray, a Democrat, is “vested in this personally.”

Murray shot back at the Republican leader: “We’re more than one-issue members,” adding, “I’m a little surprised he’s questioning my ability.”
State Senate Majority Leader Lisa Brown, D-Spokane, accused the Republican minority of trying to run down the clock on an issue whose time has come. “This is the right time to move forward with marriage equality,” she said.

Washington Gov. Chris Gregoire echoed Brown’s remarks, noting that the long-view of history.

“To those who say we don’t have the time, what will history say when we say, ’Sorry, we had a budget to pass, so we continued to discriminate.’ That answer does not work,” Brown said. “This is our test. This is what leadership is about. Now is our time.”

Gregoire announced last week that she will introduce legislation that would allow same-sex marriages in Washington state. The announcement represents a change for Gregoire. While she has supported gay and lesbian partners having the same rights that straight married couples enjoy, she has never specifically endorsed same-sex marriage publicly.

Currently, same-sex marriage is legal in six states: Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New York, and Vermont and the District of Columbia. Nine states, including California, Delaware, Hawaii, Illinois, Nevada, New Jersey, Oregon, Rhode Island, and Washington, provide same-sex couples with access to the state level benefits and responsibilities of marriage, through either civil unions or domestic partnerships.

Everyone looks towards the New Year as being better than the last – I am no different. The year 2010 was what I thought was a rough one so I looked forward to 2011 with great optimism. After all, what could have been worse than 2010? I soon found out.

I was at most major community events. I lived in the gay community. I was out there photographing, videoing, writing and reporting on the community for the last 25 years for just about every gay publication in the area at one time or another.

I started feeling ill in the summer of 2010. I knew I was under a lot of stress especially after having helped plan the Stonewall Festival in Wilton Manors. This, following the very successful “Wicked Manors” the October before, the last year “The Drive” had been shut down to car traffic on Halloween.

By the time the end of 2010 rolled around, I was having every little symptom of being sick you can imagine, but none of them at the same time. Some days I would have the chills, some days I would be very tired, some days I would be light-headed, some days other little symptoms, or I would feel just fine. But the temperatures were colder than normal over the holidays, so I thought I was just fighting off the flu because everybody was coming down with something.

I attended New Year’s Eve festivities in the Shoppes of Wilton Manors with no problem but within a few days, all of the symptoms – plus many more – started to attack me all at once. So bad in fact, I was taken to the emergency room on January 10 and just in time since I collapsed while in the waiting room.

I was admitted and went through the normal pre-examination “vitals”: temperature was high, blood pressure was high. The nurse removed my shoes and stated, “oh my god.” I thought she was talking about foot odor but no, she pointed out that my feet were orange and very swollen. The next thing out of her mouth was “kidneys.” Emergency testing of my blood showed that indeed my kidneys had failed and the toxins had built up to critical levels. I met my first doctor who told me had I waited another 24 hours, I would have died. I went through quick surgery to make preparations for kidney dialysis.

I spent the next three weeks in the hospital as the doctors checked everything out. In addition to the kidney problems, they discovered bladder cancer. I was told not to be too concerned with the bladder at this time as it’s a very tough organ but they needed to rid my body of the toxins with dialysis and treatment first, then take care of the bladder. $233,000 dollars later, I went home, continued with dialysis three times a week and was scheduled to return to the hospital in April to remove the bladder. The doctor told me that, though it is rare, the kidneys have been known to come back to life to some degree in some cases, but warned me not to count on it.

At first, the dialysis was helping and, though I felt weak immediately after treatment, I was feeling much better. Then, I started feeling worse than ever before and started to lose weight fast – too fast – in fact, I lost 110 pounds in three months and my blood toxin levels started to go crazy and I was often feeling worse than ever. The doctors didn’t seem concerned, so neither was I.

When I returned to the hospital in April for the bladder removal, initial tests showed that my kidneys had started to function at a very limited basis. My left kidney was literally dead with only working at around 1% efficiency; my right kidney was now working at around 38% — enough to operate on their own. The reason I was feeling so bad was because both the kidney dialysis machine and my internal kidneys were fighting each other over control of my body. Though my kidneys were partially working, dialysis was no longer needed.

It was also decided that since the kidneys were working again, we should try to save the bladder and cure than cancer instead of just removing it right off. However, what was also discovered was that I also had bone cancer in my hip.

As the year progressed, I’ve been off dialysis and I’ve been going through chemotherapy for the cancers. This past October, scans, prods, probes and tests show that the bladder cancer is in remission, but the bone cancer has somewhat spread. Again, my oncologist has told me that there are different treatments for bone cancer that we haven’t tried yet. I am now going through the second regiment of chemo drugs which are rougher on my body.

Being cynical by nature, I’ve learned some important lessons this past year. First, I’ve learned to appreciate life and what life has to offer.

Things that I would normally stress over–and I can’t afford any stress, now–I’ve learned to brush off. Second, I’ve learned to take life slower, but then again, I really didn’t have much of a choice. Finally, I’ve realized what great friends I have and my huge support group.

There are those people that didn’t walk, but came running to my side as soon as I took ill like Brad Casey, Tim Yatteau, Ryan Dixon, Sheri Elfman, Dan Renzi and Robert Cieslak. There are also those who were able to give me great advice to follow concerning my mental and physical state like Terry DeCarlo, Paul Hyman, Peter Clark, and longtime friend Norm Kent. Florida Agenda publisher Bobby Blair never lost faith in me and, through it all, I never missed writing in a single issue of the newspaper and also accepted my new, limited physical abilities. (Learning to type on a laptop while lying in bed is a skill that everyone should acquire.) Then there are those that would regularly call or email to find out how I was doing like Nicky Rose, Pompano Bill, Shane Phoenix, Gary Resnick, Julie Carson, Dale Madison, Eric Reivik and there are dozens and dozens more that I just don’t have enough space to list.

And then, there are those that have purposely avoided contact me fearing the worse and perhaps fearing their own mortality. Recently I ran into Victor Cody who confessed to me that he has been afraid to see me not knowing how I would look and was surprised how much better looking I was then he thought and said how glad he was to see me again. For those of you who have avoided me not wanting to deal with reality of a person who was sick, don’t worry – I was one of you up to this year – I just couldn’t deal.

Then, there were the surprises. Shortly after this past Halloween on Wilton Drive, it was brought to my attention someone wrote on the local blog, “Wilton Drive Online,” about how disappointed they were over what has happened to the annual big event. Someone suggested that the person (which was me) who used to handle the party start doing it again. Someone else replied that the person who used to do Wicked Manors was named Bob – but he died. I, of course, replied myself saying that, though sick, I was still alive–all while laughing to myself about the situation. Then again, I laughed too at the appropriateness of a dead person running a Halloween party. Was I upset? No. In fact, I was flattered knowing that the community really appreciated the hard work put into large public events.

The other night, longtime friend Ellen Friedman, who has also had her health problems, took me out for a holiday dinner that I will forever remember. As we sat there talking, I told her that I didn’t realize how many people would have cared what happened to me and how many friends I really have. She said to me, which prompted this piece, “Bob, they’ve been there all along. You’ve just been too blind to see them.”

Though I am sick, I’m getting better slowly; sometimes painfully, but I’m not going anywhere. I wish I could go out more, but my body starts to wind down around two in the afternoon.

Each year, I write a feature in the last issue of the year for whatever publication I have worked for, getting New Year’s resolutions from people in the community, and though I would have like to have gotten many more for the last week’s issue of the Agenda than I did, I was too weak to continue.

One person, who I asked for his resolution a week ago, turned the tables on me and asked me what my New Year’s resolution was. I simply replied, “2013.”

By BOB KECSKEMETY

Another piece of South Florida’s LGBT history ended last week with the demolition of the original location for the local Metropolitan Community Church, now known as the Sunshine Cathedral/MCC. The building was 50 years old and was located near the Fort Lauderdale/Hollywood International Airport, south of State Road 84.

Over recent years, the church building had been used as the Christian Romany Church. Despite protests by the local community to save the historic structure, the building had been demolished to make room for a social service facility that will house a drug rehabilitation program and sexual assault treatment clinic.

County Commissioner John Rodstrom joined with the neighbors protesting

the demolition saying that it was pointless to tear the building down. The debate over the sale and use of the property has waged for the last seven years.

The Christian Romany Church had been paid $2.2-million by the county in 2007 for the purchase of the property but remained located there paying monthly rent to the county.

In addition to church services, the old Metropolitan Community Church, founded by Reverend Grant Ford, was used as a LGBT community center before there was the Gay and Lesbian Community Center of South Florida or Pride Center. Many local organizations were founded and had meetings in the various meeting rooms located on the property. One such organization was the Stonewall Museum and Archives which was a mere cardboard box located in the corner of an upstairs meeting room.

Other organizations that were founded there or used the facility on a regular basis were Gays United  Against Repression and Discrimination (GUARD), Americans for Equality, GLB Vets Group and Sunshine Athletic Association.

Many of our community’s early leaders for equality also met together at the MCC to help plot the course of the progress we enjoy in our community today. Some of those early community leaders include Dennis Delia, Karl Clark, David Stack and Robin Bodiford.

In addition to religious services held by the Metropolitan Community Church being held on the property, Dignity (Gay) Catholics also used the church for their services.

The old MCC is the second former historic LGBT property to be demolished recently.

Two months ago, the former location of the Sea Monster bar on the Middle River immediately west of S.E. 3rd Avenue, was the target of the wrecking ball to make way for a new development.

By Bob Kecskemety

The up and down relationship between Proposition 8, California’s ban on same-sex marriage and the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco appears to have come closer to an end with the LGBT community becoming the winner.

In what looks like a major victory for same-sex marriage, last week a federal judge ruled that the voter initiative banning same sex-sex marriage in California violated the state Constitution’s equal protection and due process clauses.

Proposition 8, officially titled “California Marriage Protection Act,” was a ballot proposition and constitutional amendment which was narrowly passed in the November 2008 state elections. The measure added a new provision, Section 7.5 of the Declaration of Rights, to the California Constitution, which provides that “only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.”

It has been 5 months since 9th Circuit Court Judge Vaughn Walker presented his 136-page decision in the case of Perry v. Schwarzenegger rejecting Proposition 8 which California voters narrowly passed in November 2008.

Same-sex marriage licenses were granting in California beginning on  June 16, 2008 due to a ruling by the state’s Supreme Court and ended on November 5, 2008 due to the passage of Proposition 8. Prior to the passage of Proposition 8, Californian was only the second state to allow same-sex marriage. Marriages granted by any civil entity, foreign or otherwise, anytime before the passage of Proposition 8 remained legally recognized and retained full state-level marriage rights.

On August 4, 2010, Judge Walker declared Proposition 8 unconstitutional in Perry v. Schwarzenegger but temporarily stayed his ruling. On August 6, 2010, both sides submitted legal briefs to Judge Walker arguing for or against a long-term stay of the ruling. On August 12, 2010, Walker had scheduled to lift his stay. On August 16, 2010, the United States Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit granted the motion to stay, ordered expedited briefing on the merits of the appeal and directed both parties to submit briefs as to why the appeal should not be dismissed for lack of a standing. On August 17, 2010, the 9th Circuit panel ordered expedited briefing on the Imperial County appeal. The 9th Circuit requested that the California Supreme Court rule as to whether Proposition 8 sponsors have a standing to defend it in the courts and the Supreme Court set September 6, 2011 as the date to hear arguments. On November 17, 2011, the California Supreme Court ruled that the sponsors do have the right to defend the initiative, clearing the way for the case to be heard in the Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit.

What added to the contentiousness of the appeal of Proposition 8 was that Judge Walker himself is a homosexual though he was appointed to the court by President George H. W. Bush in 1989.

While the constitutionality of Proposition 8 was being debated in the courts, California continued to allow domestic partnership which allowed same-sex couples almost all the state-level rights and obligations but did not include federal-level rights of marriage that cannot be granted by the states. These rights included hospital visitation rand health insurance coverage for the dependents of government employees covered by CalPERS, the state retirement system.

Though Proposition 8 has been overturned, this does not mean that gays and lesbians in California can necessarily start getting married anytime in the near future.

Proposition 8 proponents are arguing that Judge Vaughn Walker’s decision should be thrown out because he was, at the time of the hearing, in a long-term relationship with another man and thus could not be impartial on the issue of same-sex marriage.

Though Proposition 8 has been overthrown, there are still some legal hurdles to be overcome before same-sex marriages can resume.

The court is still considering whether the tapes of the testimony given by proponents of Proposition 8 will be released to the public.

However, a final ruling on California’s marriage ban could come at any minute.

At that time, Walker wrote: “ “Although Proposition 8 fails to possess even a rational basis, the evidence presented at trial shows that gays and lesbians are the type of minority strict scrutiny was designed to protect,” Walker ruled.

“Plaintiffs do not seek recognition of a new right. To characterize plaintiffs’ objective as “the right to same-sex marriage” would suggest that plaintiffs seek something different from what opposite-sex couples across the state enjoy — namely, marriage. Rather, plaintiffs ask California to recognize their relationships for what they are: marriages.”

“Proposition 8 places the force of law behind stigmas against gays and lesbians, including: gays and lesbians do not have intimate relationships similar to heterosexual couples; gays and lesbians are not as good as heterosexuals; and gay and lesbian relationships do not deserve the full recognition of society.”

The judgment was the first offered by a federal court with respect to laws banning gay marriage at the state level and it promises to have massive reverberations across the political and judicial landscape. The decision is now expected to head to the Ninth Circuit Appeals Court, also based in San Francisco, for appeal, and from there to the Supreme Court. (Gay marriages will not resume immediately in California; the decision has been stayed until August 6 to consider arguments regarding an appeal.)

“Today’s decision is by no means California’s first milestone, nor our last, on America’s road to equality and freedom for all people,” said Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger in a statement.

A White House official emailed reporters, “The President has  spoken out in opposition to Proposition 8 because it is divisive and discriminatory. He will continue to promote equality for LGBT Americans.”

“It is not only a home run, it is a grand slam,” said Jon Davidson the legal director at Lambda Legal, the country’s largest and oldest LBGT legal organization. “This decisions is not going to be the end of this fight, the proponents have already said they will appeal.

But I think the factual findings that the judge has made and his clear and detailed analysis will be important to frame the case as it goes up on appeal.”

“This is part of an educational process that is going on in this country. When judges look outside of the political process and they go through the evidence and treat arguments as more than just sound bites they come to the conclusion that withholding marriage from same sex couples hurts them and their families and doesn’t help anyone. That helps move the conversation.”

Wednesday’s decision came after lengthy, substantive, and at times provocative legal deliberations in which an odd-couple pairing of lawyers took on the cause of overturning the same-sex marriage ban. Theodore Olson and David Boies — direct adversaries in the 2000 Supreme Court presidential recount battle — made the case that Prop 8 violated both the equal protection and due process clauses of the constitution. The law, the two argued, was discriminatory on the basis of both sexual orientation and on the basis of sex in addition to violating the principle that marriage was a personal liberty.

“The Supreme Court has said that marriage is the most important relation in life. Now that’s being withheld from the plaintiffs,” Olson said in his closing argument. “Marriage, the Supreme Court has said again and again, is a component of liberty, privacy, spirituality and autonomy.”

Representing the defense, another Washington-based lawyer, Charles Cooper leaned heavily on the social impact of codifying gay marriage, arguing that “marriage is to channel the sexual behavior between men and women into a procreative union.”

In deciding the case, Walker offered a variety of findings that may be as important as the ruling itself. Among them were the following:

“Sexual orientation is commonly discussed as a characteristic of the individual. Sexual orientation is fundamental to a person’s identity and is a distinguishing characteristic that defines gays and lesbians as a discrete group. Proponents’ assertion that sexual orientation cannot be defined is contrary to the weight of the evidence.”
“Individuals do not generally choose their sexual orientation. –No credible evidence supports a finding that an individual may, through conscious decision, therapeutic intervention or any other method, change his or her sexual orientation.”

“Same-sex couples are identical to opposite-sex couples in the characteristics relevant to the ability to form successful marital unions.

Like opposite-sex couples, same-sex couples have happy, satisfying relationships and form deep emotional bonds and strong commitments to their partners. Standardized measures of relationship satisfaction, relationship adjustment and love do not differ depending on whether a couple is same-sex or opposite-sex.”

“Marrying a person of the opposite sex is an unrealistic option for gay and lesbian individuals.”

“Same-sex couples receive the same tangible and intangible benefits from marriage that opposite-sex couples receive.”

“The availability of domestic partnership does not provide gays and lesbians with a status equivalent to marriage because the cultural meaning of marriage and its associated benefits are intentionally withheld from same-sex couples in domestic partnerships.”

“Permitting same-sex couples to marry will not affect the number of opposite-sex couples who marry, divorce, cohabit, have children outside of marriage or otherwise affect the stability of opposite-sex marriages.”

Perhaps the most important political finding that Walker made was his conclusion that the fact that Prop 8 passed as a voter initiative was irrelevant as “fundamental rights may not be submitted to [a] vote; they depend on the outcome of no elections.”

Photo: Dab Garner travels the world bringing awareness to HIV/AIDS and  helping the children living with the  disease.

By BOB KECSKEMETY

Dab Garner, if he didn’t already hold a place in the medical history books, would hold a place in history for the good he does for others.

Now in its 22nd year, Garner is bringing cheer to children suffering with HIV/AIDS during this holiday season through his “Dab the AIDS Bear” project.

In 1982, Garner became friends and godfather to a little girl affected with AIDS. In fact, she was the first little girl born in San Francisco with HIV. The child was an orphan and her mother died shortly after,  then Candice, the little girl, was born. The mother did not know who the father was. To make matters worse, Candice was also born deformed.

Garner himself was diagnosed with HIV earlier in that year on Valentine’s Day and immediately became an activist. He went to the hospital where Candice was being taken care of and noticed how Candice was being cared for in the pediatric AIDS unit.

“It struck me how horrible it was that even the nurses in the ward would not pay attention to this little girl. As you can imagine in the ‘80s, nobody wanted a child with HIV much less a deformed one so my second partner and I became her godparents. Back then, as a gay couple, we couldn’t legally adopt her.”

Garner and his partner shopped all year for Christmas presents for Candice as Christmas was Candice’s favorite holiday.

Candice died when she was 4-1/2 years old in August. At her bedside, Garner promised the dying child that he would make other children like her feel loved and special.

Garner remembered that at the time, there were about a dozen other children with HIV in the San Francisco Bay area, so he and his partner divided up the toys he had already bought Candice and gave those to the other children. He also gave each and every one of them a teddy bear.

This gesture of kindness and caring for others started an organization that has grown exponentially. Garner explained that he started looking for other kids afflicted with HIV and every two years would add another city and added more children to his Christmas list – first Los Angeles; then New York. Twenty-two years later, Garner reaches out to 21 cities, both in the United States and abroad with his special brand of caring and love.

“Candice is the whole reason I do this,” Garner explained, “I’m keeping the promise I made to a dying little girl.”

How is Garner’s health having been diagnosed with GRID (what AIDS was referred to back then) in 1982? Garner is doing fine. He said that according to the National Institute of Health, he’s the third longest living survivor they know of still living with HIV/AIDS. He was also the first person in San Francisco to make it out of hospital quarantine alive.

“Back then,” Garner explained, “there were no privacy laws to keep [AIDS patients’ names] out of the newspapers or anyone from disclosing my HIV status so my name, picture and status were published in the newspaper. I never really had a choice whether I was going to be out concerning my HIV status – it just was. I was raised by parents that taught me to make the best of my situation and to help those less fortunate than myself.”

Garner said that back in 1985, then-President Ronald Regan wouldn’t even mention HIV or AIDS.

“In 1985,” he said, “several of us chained ourselves to the White House to get President Reagan just to say ‘HIV.’” He also explained that he was fortunate enough to work with Elizabeth Taylor and Senator Ted Kennedy to get Ryan White funding started.

Garner moved to South Florida just over a year and a half ago. “I moved down here because South Florida has the highest incidence of new HIV infections in the country,” he said.

Garner also works with the Broward, Miami-Dade and Palm Beach County health departments to help with their HIV prevention programs.

“For the most part, it’s been very, very positive,” said Garner when asked how his AIDS Bear project has been accepted.

“I travel the world to about 120 to 150 events a year, speaking at AIDS walks, AIDS rides, HIV conferences , gay prides, women health fairs – just about to anyone who will put me behind a podium to help prevent the spread of HIV while helping those that are already infected.”

When Garner speaks, he tells people to get tested on a regular basis, not only for HIV but for other STDs. He explains that there are now medications to keep people alive. But he warns that it is important to be diagnosed while a person is still healthy because not only does it give you a better chance of living with HIV, but it also allow you to start medication while your T-cell count is higher, the lessening the side effects.

“The other major point I like to make,” said Garner, “is that in Florida and 13 other states, we have a waiting list to get assistance through ADAP (AIDS Drugs Assistance Program). I go to DC once a month and lobby for more funding because we have a waiting list of over 3,000 people in Florida and a total of 9,000 throughout the country. People can help just by picking up the phone or sending an email by contacting the elected officials.”

For more information about Dab Garner and the Dab the AIDS?Bear Project, please visit the website at www.dabtheaidsbearproject.com.