By Justin Jones
I was a slut when I was younger. A big one. I documented my sexual escapades while I lived them—some mind-blowing, others boring, a few frightening, and a very few, well, simply … scarring. My experiences affected me like practice does for most people: It made me better.
Malcolm Gladwell famously (and controversially) popularized the 10,000- Hour Rule in his book, “Outliers:” That the masters of any field—from Michael Phelps in a swimming pool, to The Beatles on a stage— spend enormous amounts of time on their craft in order to achieve greatness. Maybe I’m not great, but I feel like I had 10,000 hours worth of experience in promiscuity.
I recently revisited my journals from a summer when I had a particularly explosive libido, and I discovered a few nuggets of naïve, narcissistic wisdom, and random commentary. An unedited glimpse into the thoughts of a young slut, on the loose in South Florida, follows:
1. WTF is “sounding?” Is he asking me to ‘sound’ like something? This guy, he asked me if I was into sounding. Sounding like what?
2. We upgraded from dial-up recently. AOL, m4m, watch the f** out!
3. This guy bought me roses tonight. No one’s ever done that. I hope he isn’t expecting to date me. We’re having dinner tomorrow.
4. Dear Future Me: Don’t sleep with guys who say they want to give you a “strawberry shortcake.” They’re not being sweet.
5. Was at an after-party till noon today. Laying on the beach now. Guy in front of me was at the party with his partner. They look so … regular. They didn’t look like that last night, those crazy bitches. I look like sh** right now. Wonder what that means about how I looked last night?
6. Big rich man wanted to take me on a date tonight. I said yes. “Family emergency” came up for him. Can’t he hire someone to take care of it? It’s Friday.
7. Can’t get “Castles in the Sky” out of my head. I’ve been dancing to it all day. This sh** it HOT.
8. That guy was a “grower” after all. Not sure I’ll be able to walk again.
9. Won a strip contest tonight. I promised a few guys BJs if I won. Needless to say, my exit was quick and discreet. I got an offer to do porn, though!
10. Been thinking about the porn thing. I wish I could stay down here and not go to college. Hm: Study all day, or have sex all day? It’s gonna suck when I have to leave.
11. There are so many houseboys down here. This guy offered to give me a try. I think I’ll test it out. Staying at his place a couple nights this week.
12. Tried the houseboy thing. I actually have to clean? No thanks.
13. I did it to myself. I wore underwear and a dog collar to a party last night, and got roughed up pretty good by a pervert. Think I’m done going out for a while.
14. Why leather? Just tie me up already.
15. I’ve been here the whole summer. It’s hard to say goodbye, but I can’t sustain this lifestyle. I leave tomorrow. I bet I’ll look back on all this one day and laugh my ass off.
Justin Jones, 25, is a writer based in Minneapolis. In addition to his column lovejones, Justin pens Through These Eyes, a bi-weekly column for Lavender Magazine. He writes about things like being alive, being in love, and drinking too much. Facebook.com/JustinJonesWriter.